Secrets and Smiles
by Shunatsu
Summary: Fai, a new teacher at the Horitsuba Gakuen, enjoys his days annoying the infamous Kurogane. By mutually influencing one another, both teachers found themselves dealing with unfamiliar feelings and Kurogane finds out the secrets behind the smiles. KuroFai.
1. Chapter 1

**Wahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! My first fic in ages, and it's a chapter fic too! This story is based on an RP my friend and I did. Oh, and I do not own Tsubasa. Sadly, I am not CLAMP. Sob.**

_Everything, lives by blending, interconnecting and mutually influencing one another._

_Even a merely trivial meeting brings about changes of both heart and body._

- Yuuko, xxxHolic

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"Hyuuuuu…" said Fai as he looked around the big, empty hall of the school. Recently, he was invited by the headmistress Yuuko-san to teach in her school: the Horisuba Private Academy. He thought of himself as lucky to be invited into such a prestigious school just after moving to Japan. Honestly, he never imagined being able to teach in such a famous school, but although there was something suspicious somewhere, he wasn't complaining. Yuuko-san has been very kind towards him ever since he met her, even when she was drunk.

Since it was still early in the morning, there were no students or teachers in sight. Fai had decided to come early today since it was his first day teaching in this school, and judging by the size, he was probably going to need the extra time to explore the place. He walked across the vast hall, taking in almost every detail of this deserted school, memorizing anything special to identify this place later on, making up a little map in his head. It wasn't very long until he reached outside the teacher's room. To his surprise, he heard the faint sound of a voice grumbling. Tilting his head, he wondered who it could be. _Who would be in school at such an early hour?_ , he thought.

Out of curiosity, Fai opened the door and entered the room.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Damn it," cursed a man with black, spiky hair, his tan arm holding a paper cup filled with coffee.

Kurogane considered doubling his usual dosage of coffee today. Or maybe triple. "Stupid witch," he mumbled under his breath. Yuuko-san contacted him in the middle of the night yesterday (or more appropriately, today morning), disrupting his precious sleep just to tell him that there was a teacher's meeting tomorrow morning at 6am. It was suspicious to have a meeting this early of course, but Yuuko never lied about meetings before. He regretted ever taking that call and made a mental note to kill the damn witch later, especially if she entered through the emergency window again just to annoy him. He sipped his coffee and unleashed a string of foul curses he learned over the years.

Suddenly, the door creaked open and Kurogane spun around, grabbing his kendo sword from his desk, facing the intruder. Nobody ever came to school that early, **never**. The door opened completely, revealing his mysterious 'attacker'.

The 'attacker' was a young man with short blonde hair that flowed down his head. He had white milky skin and a pair of beautiful sapphire eyes, apparently a foreigner. The man was wearing a blue shirt that was covered by a lab coat and a pair of jeans, and he seemed to be around his early twenties. His curious and surprised gaze added a cuteness to his enigmatic yet peaceful aura.

The blonde stared dumbly at Kurogane with his blue eyes for a moment, probably at loss of what to do to meet a seemingly crazy teacher pointing a kendo sword at him just because he opened a door. The larger man of the two grimaced inwardly as his pride was stabbed mercilessly. An uncomfortable silence took place for a long time as the both of them remain rooted in their positions. That is, until the blonde spoke.

"… Are you a drama teacher?" he said with a light chuckle.

Kurogane could feel the room getting hotter as he placed his sword on his desk and folded his arms, half wondering why his heart was suddenly pounding. "Hell no! Who the heck are you anyway?" he snorted. The blonde man giggled, and he could swear his face was glowing.

"Oh, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Fai D. Flourite, the new chemistry teacher in the school," he said and bowed gracefully in front of the man. "May I know who you are?"

"Kurogane Youou. PE."

"Not very chatty, are you?"

"What the hell was that suppose to mean?" Kurogane growled threateningly.

"Oh, nothing," said Fai, grinning slyly at the man. Somehow, the PE teacher didn't like that smile. It reminded him too much of that dangerous witch Yuuko. He was planning something.

"What the hell are you planning?" he growled.

"Oh, nothing!" he replied, grinning even more. "You remind me of a big angry puppy, Kuro-puu, that's all."

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" yelled Kurogane.

"Aaaaaah! The puppy has rabies! Ruuuuuuuuun!" he feigned fear and threw his arms in the air dramatically before sprinting out of the room and down the hallway.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" he yelled, grabbing his kendo sword and chased after the blonde. "GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!"

"Language, Kuro-pii!" shouted Fai from the other side.

"SHUT UP!"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Kurogane muttered a curse under his breath as he strolled down the hallway to the gym. He was in a foul mood today. That new teacher was certainly pissing him off. It was his first day teaching here and he had already done a hefty amount of damage to his pride.

_Some students practically freaked out or stared - either from shock or amusement he wasn't sure – when they were greeted with the sight of the infamous Kurogane chasing a foreign stranger down the hallway, waving his kendo sword screaming "I TOLD YOU I'M NOT A DOG!" while the stranger squealed in delight. Yuuko arrived moments later – entering from the window (AGAIN!) – and smirked at the sight._

"_Well, well, Kurogane-sensei. You seem to be enjoying the morning today. But I hope you know that running around the school in order to try to kill a person is against the rules," she scolded in a way a parent would to a 10 year old. Then, she turned to Fai and smiled. "Welcome to Horisuba Private Academy, Fai-sensei. Now, what do you have in mind for Kurogane's punishment?" she said with a sly look on her face._

"_What the heck! Are you telling me you PLANNED ALL OF THIS?!"_

_Unfortunately, they decided to ignore him._

"_I don't know, Yuuko-san. How about you choose? What do you think will be best?"_

"_Hmmm..." she thought for a moment. Everyone waited in great anticipation for the result. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers. "I know, maybe Kurogane-sensei can take you out for dinner tonight?"_

"_Oooh!! I haven't been eating out for a long, long time, Yuuko-san!" squealed the blonde as he turned to Kurogane.  
_

"_It's settled then! Kurogane-sensei, as your punishment for attempting harm on a poor, innocent soul, you shall be taking Fai-sensei out for dinner tonight!" said the headmistress._

"_WHAT THE HELL-"_

"_And any form of disagreement will result in me deducting 50 percent of your salary." _

_With that, he kept his mouth shut, fuming as Fai and Yuuko chuckled evilly._

Imagine, the tall, fierce, serious, feared and respected Kurogane-sensei, being reduced to a cute, harmless little puppy.

Now, isn't that amusing?

The tall man reached the front of the gym and moved to grab the door knob, but froze as he saw the door. He clenched his fist tightly together, his body trembling from the force of his anger.

Oh yes, he was definitely going kill the idiot and skin him alive.

On the plain looking door was a paper sticking below the 'GYM' sign that wrote 'BEWARE: RABID DOG BEYOND' in fancy letterings.

"Ooooh! You've finally found my sign! Isn't it cute?" asked an airy voice behind him.

Kurogane turned his head slowly, a vein throbbing in his forehead. He unsheathed his kendo sword and a dark gleam appeared in his eyes. All he wanted was to train in peace, but this idiot refused to leave him alone.

"Uh oh. I think I made Kuro-pii mad…" said Fai, a smile spreading across his face.

"I swear to you," he growled in a low, dark voice, lightning cracking behind him. "I'm going to make you regret for ruining my life."

Fai turned and ran, screaming. "YUUKO-SAN! KURO-TAN IS BEING A BAD PUPPY AGAIN!"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU **NOT** TO CALL ME THAT!" he yelled, chasing after him.

Despite the threat, Fai smiled.

He was certainly enjoying his first day at the Horitsuba Private Academy.

* * *

**Phew! First chapter done! Sorry if it isn't written very well, this is my first attempt on stuff like that, so I'm not very sure about it, and I apologize for any grammatical errors. I'm trying my hardest to improve it. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay! Back with Chapter 2! Sorry if it took too long for some of you guys 'cause I'm sick and I can't write a lot. Still sick. Gah, but your reviews and favorites make me happy! Thanks a lot, everyone!**

**One more thing: Fai's past (yes, his past is here, but I'm not gonna dwell at it forever. The present is the important thing) is probably different from the real Horitsuba. So if anyone dislike it, feel free to stop reading. Sob.**

… **I don't own Tsubasa.**

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"… What the heck do you think you're doing? Stop that!"

"But why, Kuro-puu? This is so much fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!"

"STICKING YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CAR WINDOW AND DROOLING LIKE A DOG IS **FUN**?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU? A CHEMISTRY TEACHER OR A RETARD?!"

"Both!"

Kurogane hit his head repeatedly on the steering wheel at the answer. If there was a God out there, he certainly hates him. If it wasn't for Yuuko's evil smirk and threat that she'll deduct the rest of Kurogane's salary if he didn't take Fai out, he wouldn't be taking this crazy idiot out for dinner now.

The moment he took Fai to his car (the man took a bus to school, apparently), the man squealed and ran in circles, taking a hell lot of time to examine his car. After 7 minutes of chasing, grabbing and dumping the blonde on the front seat, he proceeded to drive him to a cheap café or restaurant.

And all along the way, Fai had been meddling with his mirrors, scrambling from the front seat to the backseat and to the front seat again repeatedly, messing with his stuff, and more importantly, opening the car window and popping his head out into the rushing wind and sticking his tongue out, drooling like a stupid dog in a car.

"Kuro-pii, you can't keep hitting your head like that on the steering wheel. The effects of one's head being hit on a steering wheel continuously can cause fatal hemorrhage, dysfunction of the neurons, inducing bodily functions to shut down," said Fai cheerily, popping his head back into the car, hair in a mess.

Kurogane looked at him, annoyed and confused.

"It means you'll die eventually," he explained, giving him his bright, dazzling smile.

The gym teacher really needed to buy sunglasses. Or duct tape. Or both. Finally sure that he was driving a crazy evil genius or retard that enjoyed psychologically harming him and his dignity, he sighed and drove on, trying to keep the last of his sanity and soul from drifting away.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

After the 10 longest minutes of Kurogane's life, they finally arrived at the restaurant. It was plain and simple, but the dishes were nice. Souma once took him here and he thought it was a rather pleasant place. … Or not if you're with a psychopath. They took a table at the corner, being sure not to draw any attention.

The both of them sat there in silence until a waitress came by and gave them the menu. Kurogane flipped through it and decided to order the same thing he did the last time he came. The waitress nodded and scribbled something on her notepad before turning to Fai. The blonde's brow was furrowed in concentration. The nurse glanced at the blonde in anticipation. Kurogane snorted, though secretly admitting that look Fai gave was cute.

It remained like that for 20 minutes.

"Oh, for goodness sake!" The Japanese man snapped and turned to the waitress. "We'll both have the chicken!"

"Yes sir," said the waitress as she scribbled something on her notepad again and bowed, smiling suspiciously, before running off and giggling all the way. Kurogane turned back to the blonde and glared at him.

"Was that so hard? And you're paying your meal for putting me through all that hell today," he shot dryly at his colleague. The pale man just smiled sheepishly then pouted in return. "Kuro-tan is so mean!"

"It's Kurogane!" he yelled, gaining some unwanted attention from a few customers and waiters.

"Calm down, Kuro-pyon. Your short temper won't help anything," said Fai.

Kurogane snorted and folded his arms. "So where the heck are you from? You don't seem to be Japanese," he said, reaching for his coffee.

"Well… I'm from Italy and moved to Japan a few weeks ago. Yuuko-san was kind enough to invite me to teach in her school, considering my previous records…" Fai trailed off towards the end of the sentence, not really wanting to let him know what happened before and was going to happen to the science lab in the school.

The gym teacher raised an eyebrow. Maybe he **was** dining with a deranged psychopath. "What previous records?" he asked carefully.

"Eheheh… You see, this isn't my first time teaching. You see, I love chemistry. Therefore, I like mixing things up. Therefore, I blow stuff up, and my last count was 80 times… or was it 81?" the chemistry teacher rubbed his chin thoughtfully, totally unaware of the other now flabbergasted teacher. He turned back to the other, smiling brightly. "That's why, I've got kicked out of various schools in Rome for my… er… dangerous acts." The blonde proceeded to take all packets of sugar on their table (say about… 20 packets?) and tore the covers, dumping the all the sugar into his coffee. Then, he grabbed the jug of milk and poured all of the white liquid into his drink and stirred.

Alright, Kurogane was sure of it. He was dining with a psychopath. If he checked the dictionary for words like 'crazy' or 'psycho' or 'mentally disturbed', he would see Fai's face printed next to the words.

"80 times?! Are you freakin' mad?!" he yelled. "You might get yourself killed!" Then he stared in horror at Fai's sugary coffee. "You might get yourself killed with that too!" he almost yelled, pointing at the now light brown colored coffee.

"Don't worry! I'm sure sugar wouldn't kill me! I'm a sweet tooth!" Then something struck Fai. Hard. "… Are you… worried about me?" he asked warily.

Kurogane's eyes widened. No fucking way. He snorted and folded his arms. "Like hell I would be worried over a dumb blonde like you! All I know now is that you're an fucking asshole and I don't want to have anything to do with you in my life!"

Fai's eyes stared at him dumbly for a moment before looking hurt as he quickly shielded his face with his blonde bangs, focusing his attention on stirring his coffee. Great, he just arrived in Japan and now someone already hates him.

Despite the quick reaction of his colleague, Kurogane caught the other's look, and quickly looked down as well, a pit of guilt forming in his gut. Great, he just met Fai and he already insulted him. Not good.

Neither spoke until the food arrived. The both of them ate in an uncomfortable and stressful silence as well. Kurogane could feel the pit growing larger and larger and the urge to speak grew stronger as well, but he didn't want to open his mouth. Kurogane never apologized to anyone but his mother and father. Fai, on the other hand, could feel a pit of awkwardness filling his heart. He wanted to get out of here. Now.

As soon as they finished, Fai stood up and turned to pay for his meal, but Kurogane instantly grabbed his wrist, earning a jump from the other. Fai looked back in both fear and surprise.

"I'm paying," was all he said before walking past Fai to the counter. The blonde blinked dumbly at his colleague's words before falling into another gloomy depression. _He's probably doing it because he's sorry for saying that out loud. That doesn't mean he doesn't hate me._ The blonde sighed before wondering how it was like to be loved.

After Kurogane paid, the both of them walked out of the restaurant. It was already dark, around 8pm, and the streets were dark and gloomy, shielding dangers from view.

"I think I'll just walk home."

Kurogane turned around and faced Fai, who was smiling sadly. "What?" he asked, not sure if he had heard it right.

"I think I'll just walk home," Fai said, lifting his head to stare at the sky. "I mean, it's late, and you probably have to go home soon." He turned his head back to Kurogane. "So I'll just walk. It's probably not very far away anyway, and-"

"Are you nuts?!" A loud voice interrupted him and he gazed at that now angry man, confused. "Do you have any idea what lurks in the darkness?! If you go out there alone, you might get hurt, or worse, killed. You think I'm just gonna let you run off like that?!" Fai opened his mouth to interrupt but was cut off when Kurogane grabbed his wrist and dragged him along to his car. "I don't care what you're gonna say. You are **not **walking home in the dark. It's dangerous, damnit! Don't you have any sense of security in you?!" Kurogane shouted, the strict tone of his voice stopped Fai from insisting any further. Unknown to the gym teacher, Fai was smiling softly.

The drive back home was quiet. Nobody spoke. Nothing needed to be spoken. It was a long, comfortable and comforting silence on the way to Fai's home, each other knew the other's feelings and the unspoken words. After knowing Fai's address, Kurogane's heart almost stopped back then. To his shock, dismay and somehow pleasure (Kurogane was **not** satisfied with that feeling), Fai was his new neighbor. He remembered someone moving in a few weeks ago but as usual, Kurogane ignored the existence of that person. He wasn't a friendly neighbor, but now, with Fai living nearby…

… Why is there this little spark of happiness in his heart?

... Greeeeeeeeeat.

Kurogane didn't tell Fai about them being neighbors, nor did he want to tell him about it, at least not now. With his personality, the gym teacher was sure Fai would find out soon. He stopped when they reached the blonde's house.

"Here. I'm sure this is the address," he muttered, not bothering to look at the man beside him.

"Kuro-pii?"

"What?" His eyes widened in shock when a pair of arms wrapped itself around Kurogane's neck. Fai hugged the gym teacher and nuzzled him shortly before looking at the other, a soft smile dancing at his lips.

"Thanks for caring."

In an instant after the hug, Fai unwrapped his arms around the now blushing man and hopped down the car, grabbing the keys from his pocket to open his front door, oblivious to the yell of "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?!" from behind him and shut the door. The chemistry teacher smiled warmly and danced and twirled into his bedroom before flopping down on his bed, the warm feeling of being cared for blossoming in his heart.

Yes, Fai certainly enjoyed his first day at the Horitsuba Academy.

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**That, was the longest chapter I've ever wrote. Exhausted…. Reviews make me happy? And once again, feel free to tell me any mistakes I made or any advices. Just don't flame, you won't make me angry. Once again, I apologize for any grammar errors. Just so you know, I checked this chapter 7 times, so if there's still any, please don't be mad.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Really, really sorry for the late chapter! Two days late, damn it! I would have posted this earlier but I was struggling at what to write (ran out of ideas XP) and ended up writing what was supposed to be chapter **_**4**_**, and was forced to write a whole new bloody chapter.**** I really feel like killing myself. **

**No own anything.**

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'DADDY'S GONE FISHING'

That was the sign that greeted Kurogane when he arrived before his precious gym.

He had a good idea of who wrote that.

Speaking of Fai, it had been a week since he met him, and boy, even he was surprised at how much he had noticed in such a short amount of time. Fai's personality and strange aura had fascinated and surprised him at first, but it wasn't long that he found out why.

The first thing he noticed was the blonde's eyes. Those blue eyes were always cold, lonely in fact, as if buried under layers and layers of ice, heart frozen. It scared Kurogane sometimes to see eyes that were so… dead. Also, the man's behavior was getting stranger than ever. His smile seemed faker every time he saw the chemistry teacher. His actions soon became stiff too, unnatural and seemingly untrue, as if acting out something he didn't really want to.

It really made Kurogane wonder.

"Ohohoho, so you found the sign?" asked a teasing voice from behind, breaking his thoughts. Kurogane spun around to see his boss laughing wickedly. "You saw the idiot put this sign up?!" he accused, tearing the sign from the door.

"Why yes, of course. At first, I wanted him to write something about rabid dogs, but that seemed a little old, don't you think? So he came up with the idea of you being a daddy bringing his little kids to fishing! Don't you think it's such a cute little scene?" Yuuko sighed, drowning in oblivion, eyes sparkling.

"To hell with that!" yelled the gruff man, startling a few students around. "I am not a daddy, damn it!" Kurogane was very, very tempted to smash Fai's head with a fire extinguisher. Just when that thought processed in his head, the blonde appeared, stepping out of the corner, grinning.

"But you are, Kuro-daddy! Don't you think? _The_ Kurogane, brave and brash, manly and protective, bringing his wife and children to the riverside, quelling their fears from the cruelty of fishing!" he gasped dramatically, clapping his hands together and made an excited twirl. "Do you not find that loving? Oh, have you no heart?!" he wailed, placing the back of his hand on his forehead, sighing dramatically. With that, Kurogane grabbed his kendo sword, eyes flashing maniacally, proceeding to kill the idiot in front of him. He swore, no mercy this time, oh yes, no more mercy…

The moment Fai caught the glimpse of madness in Kurogane's eyes as well as the shimmering blade, he squeaked in fear and hid behind the annoying headmistress, whimpering. "Y-Yuuko-san… Kuro-chi's b-bullying me again…" he said, big, teary, puppy eyes looking up at the woman.

"Aw… my poor, poor baby! Don't worry," she said, petting his head. "I promise I'll make Kuro-san pay later," she said, directing an evil glint towards the gym teacher. The Japanese man had the sudden urge to tear them both, there and then. But the thought of students finding their favorite teacher and headmistress reduced to a bloody heap on the ground, the sight scarring them for life made him reconsider, since Fai had became a popular teacher among students in a short amount of time, especially among the girls. He growled and set the sword down on the floor. Instantly after he did that, Fai leaped towards the tall man and snatched that piece of paper from Kurogane. Even though it was slightly torn at the edges, the words are still readable.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?!" he said, trying to catch the blonde.

But Fai was too fast. In merely a few seconds, Fai's body jumped and twirled elegantly away from Kurogane before digging his hand into a pocket, pulling out a tube with the words 'UHU Glue' printed on it. He unscrewed the tube, squeezed its transparent liquid onto the back of the paper, and rushed forward, slamming the sign on Kurogane's jacket.

Fai withdrew, giggling madly, still holding that tube of glue. Yuuko burst out laughing. Passer-bys stared, some horrified, some amused.

It took a moment for Kurogane to comprehend what had taken place. It took another moment for him to register Fai's true flexibility. It took another freaking moment before his face turned red in anger.

"YOU BASTARD!" he yelled, trying to pull the piece of paper away, but of no avail. The sign was stuck firmly on his jacket. He uttered a string of curses.

"Ooo… Kuro-rin is a potty mouth," Yuuko said, shaking her head. "I think we better get out of here before Kuro-doggy's rabid mind starts to take over his body…" Along with a giggling Fai, the both of them sprinted away from the scene, laughing all the way.

Kurogane continued cursing loudly, trying to yank that piece of paper off his jacket, attracting more and more by-passers. Some whispered, others giggled while a few others sprinted upon seeing their gym teacher's angry face. With a large sigh to calm himself down, Kurogane removed the jacket and proceeded to try to yank the stupid sign off. It wasn't long until a sickening 'RRIIIIIIIIIP!' filled the air, and Kurogane found himself staring at his now torn jacket. The front was torn so badly that you can see the cotton stuffed inside it.

Students sprinted and birds flew away from nearby trees while Yuuko and Fai snickered when they heard a loud yell of anger from the other side of the floor.

Before Kurogane could even step out and declare war against the evil blonde and his ally, the bell rang. Gathering his kendo sword and torn jacket, the gym teacher headed for class in a foul mood, sulking like a petulant child and cursing all the way.

His favorite jacket was ruined.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

It was a busy day, so Kurogane didn't really have time to search and kill the blonde idiot, but decided to take his chance during lunchtime. He waited at a corner on the first floor, knowing Fai will definitely walk pass this place while trying to think of ways to kill him. After tolerating and somehow not killing him for a week, he knew when and where his classes took place in, and that benefited him to avoid the crazy idiot. No, he was not obsessed over him, he just wanted to avoid him as much as he could.

Students roamed in the school hallway, chattering in groups. Most were heading towards the canteen while others heading for elsewhere for other businesses. The hall was packed with students, and he blended beautifully into it. It was a perfectly normal day. Nothing was happening. Nothing was going to happen.

At least, that was what he thought before a faint rumbling noise was heard.

Immediately, the students in the hall froze, their feet suddenly stuck to the ground. Silence followed after a second, their faces printed with unadulterated horror at what was to come. After a few moments, noises erupted throughout the room. Some were groaning and grumbling, others were muttering things like "Not again!" and "when the hell is this gonna stop?!" before a yell rang clearly across the room above all others.

"STAMPEDE!"

Chaos. All students screamed and laughed, running towards the opposite direction of the rumbling sound. Kurogane was clueless. _What the hell is going on?_ But before he had a chance to ask a student, the vast hall was empty and deserted. Being the famous stubborn mule he was, Kurogane didn't run despite the warning. (All because of his dignity, of course.)

Soon, the rumbling noise got louder and louder, the ground shook at the force of many footsteps. Whatever was coming, it was traveling fast and in a large group. It wasn't long until shrill screams were heard. The noise was piercing and Kurogane was sure that his ears were bleeding. The rumbling noises and screams grew louder. The ground was shaking uncontrollably now. The gym teacher braced himself at what was to come.

Fai appeared all of a sudden from the direction of the screams, running as fast as he could, panting. The moment he saw Kurogane, his eyes widened.

"RUN!" he yelled. He ran past the gym teacher, grabbing his wrist and dragged him along. The gruff man was surprised by his strength. Not only he had great flexibility (if not he wouldn't be able to dodge Kurogane every time he chased him), he too, had physical strength within himself. Apparently, Kurogane had been underestimating him.

"What the hell is going on?!" he yelled over the screams, turning his head. When he did, the taller of the two swore his heart stopped there and then.

Not far behind them was a large group of screaming, squealing, hormone-driven teenage girls, running towards them.

"WE LOVE YOU FAI-SENSEI!!" A screeching noise erupted throughout the place by many (around... let say... 30?), causing Kurogane to urge the blonde to run faster. To his horror, Fai seemed to be running slower and slower by each second. Sweat beaded on his forehead and rolled down his face, his pants becoming more like gasps of breath. Obviously he had been running for quite some time.

Out of great annoyance, Kurogane grabbed the blonde and slung him over his shoulder. Fai gave a loud squeak and the girls from behind squealed and screamed louder than ever. Kurogane thanked whatever God existed for not blowing up his eardrums.

"Erm… K-Kuro-pii, what are you-" Fai started but was soon interrupted by the other.

"Just shut up! I know a way to get out of this!" he yelled and quickly turned at a corner. He gained speed, knowing there was only one slim chance to get out of this. Quickly, he opened a side door to the store room, dumped the chemistry teacher in before running into the room and slammed the door. The both of them waited in bated breath, praying for luck.

Soon, the screams got louder and the ground rumbled in a strange beat. Fai closed his ears to drown away the noise, his whole body shaking. He knew he wasn't supposed to be scared over something as little as this, but the thought of being chased and stalked by girls to the extreme… it was terrifying. He cursed his imagination.

The screams got softer and the ground slowly stopped shaking. For a long while, both teachers stood in there, too afraid to go out. The thought of girls stamping on their bodies and slowly dying due to lack of oxygen made them think twice before leaving. That was when Kurogane noticed that Fai was shaking.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, trying not to sound too concerned.

"Hm? I'm fine Kuro-chi! What makes you think I'm not?" Trying to keep his voice from shaking, the blonde gave the taller man a smile.

"Liar. You're shaking. And don't smile when you don't feel like to 'cause it's seriously annoying me," he said harshly.

Fai bowed his head, ashamed. It wasn't that he wanted to lie; he just didn't want Kurogane to worry over him. He didn't want the gym teacher think of him as a dependant man that's scared of something as little as being chased by girls. He was sure as hell that Kurogane would never fear over something as little as this.

Upon seeing Fai's reaction, he sighed. Apparently he got his thoughts over the wrong way. He wasn't saying that the other was a coward or liar (Heck, even he was terrified when they were chased by those crazy girls), he just wanted to let the blonde know that there are people out there who will worry over him, and it'll hurt the people who cared about him more than ever to see them lie and struggle in their problems all by themselves without asking for help.

"Just… don't lie when you're not alright, 'kay? There are people out there who will worry about you, and you'll hurt them or make them more worried if you lie to them like this." Seriously, Fai had to break this habit. It won't do anyone any good. Unconsciously, he reached out and petted the blonde on his head, trying to sooth and comfort him a little.

He had come to a conclusion that no matter how hard he denied it, he'll always care for the idiot, that he'll always be there if Fai needed him. Even though the chemistry teacher annoyed him like hell over the past few days, he became Kurogane's friend, and the gym teacher cares about his friends, no matter how silly they were. The Japanese man wondered how they become friends by just playing around like that.

Fai lifted his head, eyes wide with surprise, before breaking into the first real smile Kurogane had ever saw. It was so heart warming that the taller man couldn't help but stare at it. Suddenly, Fai lunged at him, clinging to the gym teacher, squeezing him hard.

"That was the nicest thing Kuro-pyon has ever said to me!" he squealed. Shocked, Kurogane fell backwards onto the floor, throwing the door open as he landed on his butt, Fai still clinging onto him. When he turned his head to the left, his face flushed in embarrassment.

Right beside him stood a few students, gaping at the both of them, one was even covering her mouth in horror, blushing madly. The sight of both teachers panting and covered in sweat (as well as Fai's messy hair from running) and Fai latching onto Kurogane's waist clearly gave them the wrong idea of the situation.

"W-wait, it's not what you-"

In an instant, the students ran away, screaming on top of their lungs. "KUROGANE-SENSEI AND FAI-SENSEI ARE MAKING LOVE IN THE STORE ROOM!!"

"WHAT THE FUCK! I TOLD YOU IT'S NOTHING OF THAT SORT!!" he yelled before turning to blonde still latched on his waist. "You…" he growled.

"Uh-oh," Fai muttered, quickly gathering himself and running towards another direction, giggling, knowing he was partly the cause of the misunderstanding.

Something broke inside Kurogane.

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN BOIL YOU IN A POT OF OIL, YOU SKINNY IDIOT!!" he roared before chasing after Fai, kendo sword waving madly in the air.

Even though the both of them fell into the same daily routine, Kurogane noticed something different about Fai. His eyes seemed warmer than before, sparkling with the kind of life he never saw in those sapphire orbs. There was something more about his smile too, warmer and much more natural than the previous ones. The gym teacher smiled inwardly.

How he loved that smile.

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**Update: Due to computer problems, I probably won't be able to upload until Thursday. This time, I promise. Definitely Thursday.**

**This week... READER'S CHOICE! You guys get to pick what you wanna see for the next chapter, and I'll try to piece it all up, though I might add a few things of my own.**

**And also, thank you so much for your help, Ominous-Shadow! It meant a lot! And once again. Sorry if there were any grammar errors!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yay! Am back with a new chapter! I tried putting everything you asked into this fic, and I thought that it worked out pretty well. So, enjoy!**

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Fai poured a mixture into the beaker slowly, making sure not to spill any of that stuff on the lab table. He was alone in the laboratory, doing something practically pointless and wasting off his free period into mixing chemicals he didn't know of, but he couldn't help it. He needed a distraction, something that could tear his thoughts away from a certain red-eyed man.

The blonde's heart tugged painfully in his chest at the thought of Kurogane. Trying to keep himself from crying, he went over to the shelf and took another bottle of chemical, proceeding to pour that into the mixture. How long had been since the day they met? Weeks? Months? He wasn't sure, but it took that much time for him to realize that slowly, without knowing, he had fallen in love with the other man.

Fai laughed bitterly. All it took was some chasing and running, yells and squeals, smiles and scowls as well as a few rare, caring moments to show whatever was within that tough exterior of the other man to make him fall in love with him. How soft he was. Har-har. But he didn't want to admit to Kurogane that he was in love with him. God, surely that man will hate him if he told him, and his heart will certainly break even more. No, he would not admit that he had grown attached to the man, not when he wouldn't say the same thing. He was merely a friend to Kurogane, nothing else, just a friend, even though it was a rather unique friendship born from the strangest circumstances.

So he just smiled, hoping his smile would make Kurogane happy. Ashura-san liked his smile, and hopefully the gym teacher would too. His heart tugged harder at the mention of Ashura. He wondered how he was, hopefully he was still on the run and safe, and happy. Happy, unlike Fai, unable to pull himself away from his current situation.

Was it so wrong to fall in love with another man?

Fai wiped his eyes, refusing to let his tears fall. Kurogane was a light to Fai. He had been wandering in darkness for far too long, lost, unable to find his way out. Kurogane was like his life, his hope, his direction, pulling him away from the darkness, a dot of light in the cave of hopelessness and despair. But Fai was afraid that the light would reject him, leaving him in the darkness, alone. The thought made Fai shudder. Loneliness, his biggest fear. The blonde himself, too, was afraid to reach out, afraid accept, afraid of the possibility that this might all be an illusion and lie, just… afraid, after so long in his unending grief and loneliness.

… But if Kurogane really didn't love him, why did he care so much?

A sizzling noise pulled the chemistry teacher from his own thoughts. The mixture in the beaker was bubbling, as if boiling, making strange sizzling and hissing noise. He had been so deep in thought that he didn't even know what he was mixing, but now, staring at the mixture, the blonde was certain he was looking at death itself.

Oh shit.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Kurogane poured himself a cup of coffee before settling back on his chair, sighing.

After meeting Fai, his world was practically turned around.

From the very beginning, his life was always clear to him. He always knew what he had in life, what he would do in life, what he wanted in life. Everything was so clear to him, like a piece of untainted glass, with nothing to stop him from his tracks, like emotions. To him, emotions were a nuisance.

But after meeting Fai, his life… became shards of glass, littered everywhere, mixing all his views in life, blending into something strangely new. In the most twisted way possible, he and Fai became fast friends, which over the months turned into an unspoken yet deep friendship between the two; even Kurogane had to admit that. The thing that disturbed Kurogane in the first place was that the chemistry teacher refused to tell him anything regarding his life before coming to Japan, besides the blowing-up-the-lab-81-times bit. Whenever the question was raised, Fai would always find a way to manipulate the situation into the way he wanted, or find a distraction to avoid the question, much to Kurogane's annoyance. And as time passed, the gym teacher was able to see more of Fai than he ever imagined. More was going on in the blonde's head than he could possibly think of, though that didn't explain the inexplicable sadness and anguish screaming in his eyes when he caught Fai alone, not knowing someone was in the room with him or that no one was looking. The smiles he wore everyday were all fake, something unnatural tainting in Fai's features, never reaching his eyes.

He wondered why Fai was always so sad. He wondered why the blonde always smiled despite his misery. Unknowingly, Fai became a challenge to him, a challenge to find out and help fix the man's problem, to make him smile because he was happy, but the one thing that unnerved the gym teacher more than anything was the reason why he bothered to _care_.

He knew the reason, but refused to acknowledge it.

Suddenly, a faint 'BOOM!' was heard, and Kurogane shook from his chair as his pencils on the table rolled on this table and dropped on the floor from the explosion. The man's eyes widened.

Shit, the blonde have better not done something stupid.

Totally forgetting his coffee, the gym teacher ran out of the office and into the hall. Students were running towards the sound of the explosion, a few were even poking their heads out of class, wanting to know what had taken place. Kurogane cursed and ran faster down a familiar path, passing the running students easily, heart pounding loudly and painfully in his broad chest, praying for Fai's safety. To his horror, the explosion came from a place oh-so familiar.

The chemistry lab.

Thick smoke filled the lab, refusing to let anyone see whatever was happening inside, slowly clouding the area, setting off the fire alarm. Students were panicking, asking each other of what had happened. Ignoring them, Kurogane ran into the lab.

The place was covered in smoke, blocking his vision. The smell was horrible, forcing Kurogane to cover his nose and close his watering eyes. He could see a faint glow on the other side of the room through the smoke, knowing that there was a fire, but where…

The man's heart skipped a beat when he saw an unmoving figure sprawled on the floor near the fire. He sprinted across the room, ignoring everything else, instead focusing on the figure. He swore his heart stopped when the sight of Fai filled his vision.

Harsh burns covered his body as he lay unconscious on the floor, pale and unmoving. His lab coat was burned through, and Kurogane caught sight of red and white. Obviously, Fai's wounds were bad. Kurogane was sure there were more injuries underneath the chemistry teacher's clothes. Carefully, the red-eyed man picked up the lithe blonde, almost surprised at how little he weigh, or how strong Kurogane himself was. He rushed out of the lab in time, only to be greeted by the sight of other teachers and Yuuko herself. Upon seeing the small man in his arms, some of the girls screamed, and the sound of distressed chattering filled the hall.

A few teachers ran to call an ambulance as the gym teacher stared at the other's face. His usually smooth face was pale and covered in burns, his eyes closed, his expression surprisingly serious and somehow pained in unconsciousness. Kurogane cradled the blonde closer to himself, the sudden urge to protect was overwhelming.

After some time, the gruff man finally raised his head to meet the headmistress', surprised to find her looking solemnly at the both of them, something similar to tears reflected in those deep, deep eyes.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

It took almost 10 minutes before the ambulance and fire fighters arrived. By the time, every living being in the school was already outside the school compound after being evacuated under Yuuko's orders. Reluctantly, he handed Fai over the doctors (are they doctors?), insisting that he was allowed to follow. Thankfully, they all agreed, and so Kurogane ended up waiting for hours in the waiting room of a nearby hospital, worried. He stood up when the doctor tending to Fai appeared from a door.

"How is he?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Relax, your friend's gonna be fine," answered Doctor Kyle with a smile. "His injuries are rather serious, and it'll probably take him some time to recover, but he's sure to live, though I'm afraid you can't see him just yet. We're still checking on him to make sure he's going to be stable, so I suggest you take a stroll while waiting," he said with a soft smile.

So now, Kurogane was walking on the streets for no apparent reason, trying to clear his thoughts. It wasn't long until the gym teacher passed a shop selling flowers, and frowned. He remembered Fai telling him that he loved Saturn Begonias, but Kurogane never really paid any attention to that. Maybe if he bought something for Fai…

Wait, why would he, _the_ Kurogane, buy something for someone just because the other loved it? He was Kurogane, for goodness sake, not some pansy assed hippie! Why would he buy something for the blonde just because he was hurt?

The answer was actually clear to him, just like everything else.

Because Fai would love it. Because Fai would smile upon seeing the gift. Fai would be happy despite the injuries.

And at that moment, he finally admitted that unknowingly, he had fallen in love with Fai.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Pain. That was all that filled his mind when it started functioning again. His body refused to move and for a moment, his mind and body was overwhelmed by the pain.

Slowly, things became clearer as he drifted away from his less-than-half-awaked mind into consciousness. Begrudgingly, Fai opened his eyes.

White filled his vision. Almost automatically, Fai knew he was in a hospital room as a memory tigged at the back of his mind. IVs were connected to his body (or is it nose?) and he was lying on a hospital bed. Fai's mind was moving very slowly and sluggishly, making him unable to comprehend a few things around him, after having just woken up after God knows how long.

"So you're awake?"

The man turned his head slowly at the voice, suddenly feeling sleepy again. "Kuro…?"

"Don't ever do something stupid like that again! Do you have any idea how long you were asleep?! Even the witch was starting to worry!"

Suddenly, everything from the other day in the lab came back to him. "Wha-… how long was I asleep?" he asked weakly.

"About 5 whole days," answered the other man, gritting his teeth. "What the hell were you thinking back then?! Were you trying to kill yourself?" he asked angrily.

Fai didn't answer, focusing his attention on the Saturn Begonias beside the bed instead. He was sure as hell that the hospital wouldn't be giving him flowers for no reason, and there was no one else who knew he loved Saturn Begonias, no one except…

The pale man turned back to the other.

"Did you… buy that? For me?"

"Yeah, but only because it would shut you up, if not you would be whining on how poorly I treated you and start creating plans with Yuuko again," answered the gruff man, staring into those sapphire orbs. He closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. "Just… don't go doing something like that again."

"Kuro-chi…"

"What?"

"Why did you buy those flowers?" asked Fai, staring back into those red orbs, something akin to determination in his eyes.

"I already told you, I-"

"The truth, Kurogane. I want the truth."

The gym teacher's eyes widened at the mention of his whole name. No cute nicknames, no silly additions, nothing. Just Fai, staring at Kurogane dead in the eyes, trying to read his expression.

And that was when Kurogane realized he can't ignore the fact any longer. And he knew he wasn't the only one feeling the same way either. Fai wanted, no, _needed_ to know the truth. Now, he finally understood that the sadness in his eyes was deeply intertwined with something he experienced a long time ago, when his parents died.

Loneliness.

That was why he had been looking at him with such hope and fear.

Instantly, the gruff man walked forward, taking large steps as Fai watched warily, suspicious and afraid. Was Kurogane going to hit him? Was he going to hurt him? Was he-

The blonde's thoughts were cut off when he felt warm lips against his. Utterly shocked, Fai didn't responded at first, but it didn't take long until the smaller man kissed back shyly and softly. He could feel Kurogane wrapping his arms around him and bringing him closer to the other's body. After a few moments, they broke up, panting with the lack of oxygen.

"Because I'm in love with you," answered Kurogane.

Slowly, a smile formed in Fai's lips. The smile was small and rather crooked, but it matched his eyes. The gym teacher took in the sight in with both happiness and surprise, cherishing it, wishing that beautiful smile could last forever.

"I love you too," Fai managed softly, smiling wider, leaning his head on Kurogane's chest, his eyes drooping.

"Idiot," Kurogane muttered. "Just go to sleep already," he said, wrapping his arms tighter around the other.

And Fai did, all pain, grief and despair forgotten, filled with nothing but warmth.

It was a beautiful day.

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**Sorry if this chapter isn't so nice! I was writing this in a hurry so it might not be written so well. Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Anyone want cookies?**


	5. Chapter 5

**New chapter up! It's only been four chapters but I've already received 38 reviews and over 1400 hits, so I really want to thank all of you for taking the time to read and review this fic, it means a lot! Still, I apologize for my previous chapter. It was (for my standard) poorly written as I was in a hurry, and being a lazy writer, I didn't really edited it.****  
**

**I don't own my house, my computer, my dog… (wait, since when did I have a dog?)**

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Fai's recovery from the chemical burns had been slow yet fast at the same time. At first, the blonde relied greatly on morphine, since chemical burns really, really hurt and Fai hated pain, something Kurogane picked up after being in the hospital with Fai for some time. He slept almost all the time, and despite Kurogane' efforts to squeeze time from his busy schedule to visit the lithe man, it was always in vain when he was greeted with a sleeping Fai.

But eventually, the blonde recovered through the months, and his crazy side (yes, Kurogane decided to call it his crazy side) slowly returned, much to his great annoyance. Seriously, it was annoying. Kurogane was **not **happy to see Fai all happy and crazy and hyper all the time. Seriously. Kurogane hated it, no kidding.

After months that somehow passed so quickly with memories that consist of the time he and Fai spend together during his stay in the hospital, the doctors decided it was time for Fai to return back home to recuperate. But since Fai lived alone in his rented house and it would be after some time until the man was able to do stuff on his own again together with the information they somehow got about Kurogane being Fai's neighbor from God-Knows whom (he suspected it was Fai who told them), they made one of the worst decisions to Kurogane's life that could leave him scarred for eternity.

"Fai, you are to stay at Kurogane's house until you fully recover. And with that, you are to come to the hospital for weekly check-ups."

Oh man, the gym teacher swore his soul died that day, turning him into a mindless zombie with a twisted sense of humor that he was actually feeling **happy **that Fai was going to live with him. A crazy blonde who can't do anything at the moment that can order the mighty Kurogane to do anything with nothing but his cute little puppy eyes living in his house for months? Definitely not healthy for his sanity, even if he was in love with Fai.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuroooooooo-piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" shouted the chemistry teacher from his room. Kurogane decided it wasn't time for them to sleep in the same bed, so he had taken the trouble to move a bed from the guest's room. How annoying.

"IT'S KUROGANE, GET IT RIGHT FOR ONCE, DAMNIT!" yelled Kurogane from downstairs, reluctantly stomping up the stairs and into his room, huffing in anger. "What the hell is it this time?" he asked harshly. He had just returned from work, cooked dinner for them both, carried the blonde to his room just seconds ago (yes, Fai was still unable to walk properly at the moment) and now he was calling out for him. His eardrums had been damaged greatly for the past few days.

The man's eyes were big and teary as he held out his arm, covered in bandages. "Ouchie…" he whimpered.

Kurogane sighed as his anger melted away. Fai was afraid of pain, that, he knew. The burns haven't healed yet and without morphine, the burns would surely hurt. He walked to the bed and placed a soft kiss onto the other's hurting arm, hoping it'll somehow ease the pain. "It'll get better, I promise," he whispered softly into the blonde's ear.

Fai withdrew slightly, face going red, surprised at the gruff man's reaction. Kurogane never did something like this for him before. Come to think of it, nobody had. It felt weird, being cared like this, though he was amused with the information that someone could be so rough and tough on the surface and so soft on the inside.

"Erm… Kuro-tan? Are you sure you're not on drugs?" asked the smaller man.

"What the hell?!" yelled Kurogane as he withdrew from Fai completely, staring at his red face, filled with different emotions, but mostly confusion. He swore his face turned into a tomato at that moment, both with anger and embarrassment. "What's wrong with doing something like that?!" he yelled.

Fai stared at him for a moment, before his eyes started to fill with crocodile tears.

Ah, shit.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! KURO-CHI BULLIED MEEEEEEEEEE!" Fai wailed as he burst into tears, pointing at Kurogane like a 5 year old kid complaining to his mom about his older brother stealing candy from him. The gym teacher shut his ears with his hands. "Oh for goodness sake shut the hell up!" he shouted through the wails and cries.

The noises decreased into fake sniffles almost immediately after the reply, though crocodile tears were still flowing down the man's cheeks. Kurogane cringed. No matter what kind of tears Fai shed, he never liked the sight of the blonde crying, even if it was fake. God, he would never want to see him cry for real. Ever.

"Kiss me on the cheeks?" said Fai innocently, sticking his right cheek out on purpose.

Kurogane blinked. Did he just say… ?

"No. Fucking. Way."

Fai's eyes were starting to fill up with tears again with the harsh reply. Immediately, Kurogane let out a panicked and annoyed sound before kissing the other's cheeks lightly. He withdrew quickly, blushing again. Yes, he loved Fai. And yes, Fai loved him back. But being in love doesn't mean you have to act all nice and mushy all the time. Kurogane intended to keep it that way.

Though unfortunately, Fai did not.

Lost in his own thoughts, Kurogane wasn't aware as the chemistry teacher slowly sat up and wrapped his lanky arms around his neck, resting his head on his chest, purring softly.

"Thank you," said Fai, closing his eyes.

"What are you getting so worked up for?" growled the other softly.

"No… it's just… no one has ever been so nice to me before…" he purred softly, nuzzling Kurogane, who raised his eyebrow.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked carefully, not wanting to scare the other.

Fai ignored him, still nuzzling the larger man's chest. "Though I think Ashura would… he was the first person who was nice to me, I mean… He's so protective of me, it was like he was my real father…"

"… Ashura?" asked Kurogane, frowning at the name. It sounded so familiar… He was sure he heard it before somewhere in his previous 'career'… Not much of a good sign...

"I'm glad though," he whispered, voice drowsy and tainted with the edges of sleep, slowly pulling him into his oblivion. "I'm so happy to be with you…" the whisper softened before the man relaxed completely against Kurogane, fast asleep. Despite the warm atmosphere, the gym teacher sensed that something was out of place.

"… Ashura, huh?"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"So how is he?" asked Yuuko from her desk, smiling mischievously towards her employee, somehow managing to get the information of the both of them currently living together.

"Fine and annoying," he growled through clenched teeth. He did not like his boss, never liked his boss and would never, ever like his boss. Ever. The headmistress just smiled as a reply. "Good then. If not, I would have lost my best employee ever, so filled with ideas and inspiration to annoy you," Yuuko started to daydream at that point, probably about new ways to torture him further. Kurogane just stared at her, unamused.

"Oh!" squeaked Yuuko, as if only realizing that Kurogane was there. "You may leave now," she said, waving her arms dismissively.

"I had to leave my students in the gym, fight through a bunch of squealing and crying fan girls asking me how the idiot was to get here, and now you're telling me to leave?!" he shouted in Yuuko's face.

"Why of course! Fai is my employee, you know. I still hold responsible for him, anyway. And it's always so much fun to play with you… though if you don't want to leave, I think I have a spot in this room to let us both have some fun together…" her tone became seductive in the end, a cheeky gleam in her eyes.

Kurogane withdrew immediately, face going red again. It was official. He was stuck with a fucking pervert as his boss. "Whatever," he muttered before proceeding to leave the room.

"Oh, and Kurogane? Tell Fai I have a friend meeting him in your house in two weeks."

The gym teacher grunted in response and slammed the door, hard.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Fai hummed softly as he walked down the stairs. Kurogane told him that a friend of Yuuko's would be visiting him today. Well, whoever he or she was, if they were Yuuko's friend, it was fine for him. His recovery for the past two weeks had been fast, and now, although still covered in bandages, Fai was able to walk around in Kurogane's house, albeit slowly. Though now that served as an advantage, for the gym teacher was at work and he wouldn't want to crawl to the front door to greet his guest.

The moment his feet touched the ground, the doorbell rang.

"Coming!" Fai called out happily before walking towards the door. Twisting the doorknob, he opened the door slowly.

His eyes widened.

"S-Subaru?" he spluttered. The sight of the man confused and scared and relieved him at the same time.

"There's no time," said Subaru, entering the house and dragging Fai into the living room, shutting the door close behind him. "Yuuko-san told me where you were, so I came here as fast as I could, though I'm not sure how long it would take for them to find out that I'm here," he continued in a soft voice, forcing the blonde to sit down before sitting down himself.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news."

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**Oooo… cliffhanger! Wahah! Now I know why writers enjoy using cliffhangers! It's so much fuuuuuun!  
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**Oh yes, one more thing: My chapter updates every week between Wednesday and Saturday, though Thursday and Friday are more likely. If you don't see my chapter up at these times, then you might want to check my previous chapter for I will update this section stating when I would update. And sorry again for any grammar errors. I'm really working on them, and it's haaaaaaaaard…**

**Cookies or rum?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Zzzzzzzzzzz… argh! I'm feeling absolutely tired! Stupid school work… by the way, I present the next chapter! With violence! Oh, and Subaru might be a little OOC here, but I'm not very sure 'cause I don't know much about his personality and behavior.**

… **I don't own…**

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"I'm afraid I have some bad news," said Subaru solemnly.

"W-what bad news?" asked Fai warily. By experience, when Subaru says that something is bad, he really means it. Subaru stared at Fai, no expression etched on his still young face before continuing, knowing that this piece of news will hurt Fai more than ever.

"I'm afraid that Ashura has been captured," said Subaru slowly, and Fai's face instantly drained of what color it has as his eyes widened in horror. "The boss' team found him hiding in Sicily and got to him before he could make any move. His current location is unknown even to us. The boss is really careful not to let anything slip, so only a few of the higher-ups really know where he is," he continued, reaching into the black bag he brought with him and dug out a file, handing it out to Fai. The blonde picked it up and flipped through it slowly, frowning. "January 18th, 3:07am, the team captured him without any bloodshed and noise, no witnesses, and no clues or traces left behind," he said.

Fai dropped his face into one of his hands, shaking his head in dismay. What was he to do? Didn't Ashura promised to take care of himself? Didn't he promise not to let Fai worry? Fai shook his head again, a mixture of worry, despair, dismay, distress and anguish filling his lungs, making it hard to breathe. What was he to do? What could he do? What **would** he do?

Subaru looked at the shorter one with sad eyes, knowing how much this information was hurting him, but the boy deserved to know. He's a grown man now, and maybe he could find a way to get Ashura back. Their time – and by that he meant Ashura's, Subaru's, Kamui's and all the others – were over. It was time for someone new to take over what they had left behind, and hopefully bring happiness to a new generation. Subaru's only regret was that he would not be able to witness that new day.

Finally, the blonde removed his hand from his face, scrunched up in a pained expression. Soon, he raised the file. "This… is this the boss' file?" he asked, still being unable to comprehend and process all of that information. Subaru shifted.

"…Yes," he replied, looking away. "I stole it along with bits of information I gathered, not recorded in paperwork, I eavesdropped, you see. That's why I can't stay for long, I'm sure their hot on my trail. If not, I'm sure they already have a few teams around the area to search for me, though I must say that I was extremely lucky: When I arrived in Japan, Yuuko was expecting me. She hid me somewhere out of their reach and arranged this meeting between the both of us. That, I wish you could help me thank her," said Subaru closing his eyes.

"As you can see in the file, Ashura's capture was not an accident. They had been searching for him all these years and finally stumbled upon him," he said. "And the reason took all this time to search for him and captured… is to get to you." With that, the older man opened his eyes in time to see Fai's face lit up in surprise before guilt washed onto that pale face.

"… It's about me again, isn't it?" muttered Fai, his eyes obscured by his blonde bangs.

Subaru shifted again. "… They want you back, more than they wanted Ashura. Yes, Ashura is one of the men in charge of that… sector." Subaru coughed awkwardly, not wanting to say it all out. He didn't want to hurt the boy more than he already was. "Though he was fairly good in his job, the boss could just replace him with somebody else. But you, Fai, you're priceless."

"No one has ever done what you did for the Mafia, Fai. No one. You gave us easy money, and things beyond what we expected. To make matters worse, the Mafia is currently running low on money, so now the boss' is once again emphasizing that sector to get more money, and that's why he wanted you back. You have no idea how happy he was when he heard that Ashura was captured, and they plan to use him to get to you." The pale man started shaking his head again, his subconscious refused to accept what he was hearing. Subaru stood up and knelt before Fai, holding his shaking hands in his own, whispering softly. "They're threatening to kill Ashura if you don't hand yourself in, do you understand? I'm only telling you this because you deserved to know, but remember that none of us, including Ashura, is forcing you to get him back. That choice is for you to make, not ours," he shut his eyes.

Silence wrapped between them before a timid voice spoke.

"S-Subaru-san?"

Subaru sighed. Great. He was back to the '-san' thing, but he couldn't really blame him for that. Fai was always thought of them as the adults and him as the child after all those painful years together. Even though after going through so much pain, Fai was still a good child.

"Yes?"

In an instance, Subaru found himself wrapped in a pair of lanky arms, hugging him tightly. It wasn't exactly a lover's hug or something; it was more of a child seeking comfort from his parent in a distressing situation. The older one hugged him back. "It's okay, don't worry too much about it, alright?" Fai was silent for a while before replying. "… Thank you for coming."

"My pleasure," said Subaru, smiling, before standing up and grabbed for the file on Fai's lap. "I'm afraid I have to take this, in case I meet some of the thugs. At least I can lie to them about not meeting you yet with the presence of this file," he said, before something else hit him. God, how could he have forgotten something so important? He dug into his pocket and held out a piece of paper. Hesitantly, Fai took it. "This is for you. There's a code I found in another file that I deciphered the best I could regarding about Ashura's location. This is as far as I could reach, so hopefully you can decipher the rest. I think they were planning to send this code all over Italy to the leading bosses. This might be something big, so please, be careful." Subaru turned to leave, though he stopped midway at opening the door.

"One more thing, Fai."

" What?"

"If you really find yourself heading back to Italy, and by any chance meet Kamui, please tell him… to stop waiting for me."

"W-what? S-Subaru?"

It was too late, he was gone. Fai could only stare dumbly at the spot where Subaru had stood seconds ago, before the words he said processed in his brain and the blonde found himself throwing the door open and running out, searching for the other frantically.

"SUBARU?!"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Kurogane sighed and stared at the road before him with no interest at all. It had been a boring day. And no, he was not saying that it was boring because Fai wasn't there. In fact, it had been great that the blonde wasn't around. It wasn't boring at all.

… Maybe a little?

Kurogane slapped his head. No, it was not boring. He did not miss Fai. You do not miss someone when you're in love with that person.

He wondered why Yuuko encouraged him to go for love counseling.

Suddenly, the man in his thoughts appeared in the crowd of the sidewalk, running as if he was in a hurry. Kurogane blinked and squinted his eyes. Yup, that was definitely Fai. Blonde hair, blue eyes, white face, definitely him. But what was he doing running around? And what was he doing outside the house? Wasn't he supposed to heal?

The car behind him horned. Kurogane cursed, driving towards the nearest U-Turn, for Fai was running towards the opposite direction.

What the heck was the blonde up to?

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Subaru blended well in the crowd. Most people here had black hair, so it was perfect. His family was half Japanese too, creating more benefit for him to remain invisible. So far, no one actually turned to look at him. He just looked like a man returning home from work.

"I'm sorry, Kamui," he muttered softly to himself. "You just can't wait for me forever. You have to learn to move on in life." The thought of hurting his brother hurt him as well, but his gaze remained still and determined. He was going to finish this once and for all.

He turned into a corner, entering a narrow path with a few people walking in it. He stood there and let the passer-bys carry on with their lives. It wasn't long until the pathway was deserted. It wasn't long until a few men with guns appeared out of the darkness, though one of the men stood out with his glasses and innocent look. A familiar face. Subaru smiled.

"Hello, Kyle. Long time no see."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Fai barely managed to catch up with Subaru in his injured state, heart beating fast with adrenaline. Why? Why was he here, running to stop a man from killing himself? He could be sitting at Kurogane's home, waiting to pounce on him when he returned, but here he was, running like gell. Why can't the past just leave him alone and be done with it?! It wasn't like he chose his own past; he wasn't even given a choice. Why can't he just have peace, just once, just forget about his past and start a new, happy life?

Why can't he just be a normal person?

Fai bit his lip to keep himself from panicking and drowning in his own thoughts, running as fast as he could to catch up with Subaru in the crowd. Running was painful, but he still pushed himself to the limit anyway. For a moment, he lost sight of the man. In a panic, Fai searched through the crowd, afraid that Subaru might already be dead. By accident, he stumbled upon a deserted hallway, greeted with the sight of a man pointing his gun at Subaru's head.

He froze upon seeing the man with the gun.

Doctor Kyle.

Kyle didn't hide his surprise at seeing the blonde, not expecting to see him after so many years. Once the shock wore out, a wicked smile slowly formed on his face. Subaru, on the other hand, looked angry. Fai was hurt physically from burns and here he was, in the middle of a soon-to-be conflict. Subaru really, really wanted to smack Fai. That boy sure has bad timing.

Fai's feet were glued to the ground. He had absolutely no idea what to do in this situation, let alone how to act.

Kyle's grin grew wider.

"Hello Fai, what a pleasure to meet you after all these years."

Oh shit.

* * *

**Ah, yes. I am aware that this chapter is a little short and confusing, but please, bear with me. I assure you, the next chapter is going to be interesting the interesting bits are coming soon! This is where the story starts!**

**Honestly, can anyone teach me how to get a betareader? I have no idea how to get one. **


	7. Chapter 7

**This chappie is dedicated to the one and only Deathspell, whose birthday has just passed! Happy birthday Deathspell! **

**Oh, and Fai might be a little… OOC in the chapter, in the fighting scenes. I rarely find any fics around with Fai fighting and I don't want to make him into a (seemingly in some people's opinions) useless wimp around here. So, well, yeah.  
**

… **meow?**

* * *

Fai froze, unable to comprehend everything that was happening before his eyes. He refused to believe that he was back into his past, back into his own nightmare. He refused to believe that the man standing before him with a gun pointed to Subaru's head was Kyle. His brain refused to register and acknowledge anything and everything before him, the path back into his nightmare that leaves him sweating and sobbing at night. He didn't even realize that his face went completely pale and that his knees were shaking under him. The reaction only made Kyle smile wider.

"So how was life, Fai? Did you enjoy your limited time of freedom?" he asked, though his gaze towards Subaru remained alert and cautious. "You know, Fei Wong was pretty pissed off to have lost you to Ashura. That's why he sent us all over the world to search for you. A waste of time, in my opinion, but I guess it's all worth of the trouble, ne?" his smile grew into a smirk. "Now we can just get back to the old days of blood and screams and-"

"Fai," growled Subaru, interrupting the other's rambling. "Get out of here. **Now**." His face was absent of all kindness, replaced by a steel mask and a voice that was cold and commanding, nothing like it should have been.

"I don't think so, Subaru. Guys," he ordered and instantly, the men around him starting walking forward towards the wounded blonde. Fai quickly backed away, glancing around as he tried to find any form of weapon. Unfortunately, he found none. Guess he had to fight with both skills and luck. The pale man stood against the blowing wind, darkness creeping from all corners around him, but he didn't care. He needed to get Subaru out of here. The man who helped him. The man who was almost a father to him, after Ashura.

"You came here to get me, but I'm afraid I'll leave you heading back home empty-handed," he said, a firm resolution unconsciously weaving its way into his heart.

"We'll see about that."

Suddenly, one of the men rushed forward, a deadly blade glistening in the darkness. Fai avoided the knife, darting and weaving his way around the place, careful not to get himself cornered. The other men rushed forward as well, a few trying to attack him from other corners as they drew their gun and started shooting.

Loud gunshots erupted throughout the place and the alley was soon thrown into chaos. Fai didn't know what was happening around him. All he could feel was the rushing wind beating against his skin, the sun almost blinding him as pain shot through his body from the movements. Gunshots were heard everywhere but with his trained ears, Fai managed to dodge and dart around the place without getting shot. The man before him lashed forward the knife, trying to wound the blonde. Fai bent down and rammed forward, slamming into the other's chest, sending him tumbling backwards before the blonde reached out to grab the knife and stabbed the man's shoulder. The man cried out in pain before falling back to the floor, unconscious.

"Behind you!"

Fai turned around and was greeted with the sight of two other men rushing forward, guns pointing at him. Quickly yet calmly, the pale man dodged the flying bullets as a sudden strength erupted inside him, causing him to rush forward with a tremendous amount of speed despite the pain. He drew his knife and sliced one of the men's gun-holding arm before kicking him, driving the other against the wall. Heaving, he caught the other man's arm and drove the knife through his wrist as he screamed and fall back on the floor, currently dazed. Fai fell forward as well, clutching his chest in pain. The sudden burst of adrenalin was exhausting him greatly and Fai was growing extremely tired, not to mention in pain due to his wounded state, and the blood… Fai was never the one to hurt anyone. He lifted his head and, all of a sudden, time stopped. In a second, it was as if he could see through the haze, the chaos, as if he was looking through a manual with everything important written in it.

The whole world became quiet.

Kyle raised his gun.

Subaru closed his eyes.

The trigger was pulled.

The resolution managed weaved itself firmly and completely into his heart.

_Protect._

His body moved on its own accord, rushing forward towards the one important to him. Instinctively, he curled around the other, protecting him from the blow.

Subaru was important to him. Almost as important as Kurogane and Ashura. He needed to protect him. It didn't matter whether it was a pointless effort. It didn't matter if it was a vain attempt. He had to protect the person important to him at all costs.

Protect him. Protect Ashura. He had to protect them all, after what they have did for him in the past. He had to protect.

Fai had a difficult time knowing what happened afterwards. He closed his eyes and held Subaru firmly. A bang. A rush of wind and…

"FAI!"

He thought it would hurt, but was surprised at the lack of pain. Soon, he realized something was amiss.

At that moment, time sped up again.

Gingerly, the blonde opened his eyes and looked at Subaru's, whose gaze was focused on something behind him. Confused and slowly, he turned around.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Kurogane panted heavily, both in panic and relief as his sword, thankfully, blocked the blow of the bullet. The force had made Kurogane stumble backwards a little but he regained his composure in no time, thankful of the short distance between them or the bullet might have broke its way through the sword. What the heck was Fai doing anyway, waiting for death like that? He made a quick mental note to yell at him later before his trained eyes registered the area.

There was one man before him and at least 4 or 5 others around him. The gym teacher's eyes widened as he finally registered who the man was before him. Kyle was equally confused as well. Kurogane knew what would come next and he didn't want that to happen. If Fai knew… The tall man quickly turned and ran towards the both, grabbing them and dragging them along, cursing loudly. Thank goodness he was a quick runner, because when the men started shooting, they were out of the alley.

The main road was surprisingly still full of people despite the loud gunshots in the alley, though it was much more deserted than before. He quickly dragged them both through the crowd, ignoring the annoyed cries and angry comments hurled towards him. Kyle and his men were not far behind, pushing their way through the crowd as well.

Kurogane didn't know how long they ran, how far they ran, but he didn't know how they ended up losing Kyle and the others. He saw a few men cornering them in a circle and some yells and gunshots and that was all. He didn't really spare a glance behind them for he was too busy running. He examined the other two. The somehow familiar stranger was tired and panting heavily, but Fai was the worst of them all. The moment they stopped running the blonde collapsed and Kurogane caught him just in time before his body hit the hard pavement.

"You better thank me for getting you all out of that situation."

Both Kurogane and Subaru turned around to see Yuuko standing before them, smirking. "I had a few… friends of mine surround and distract them for a moment, and apparently, they are currently in police custody for the riot they caused moments ago," she said, her eyes darting between the three of them. Kurogane's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What the hell is going on here?"

Yuuko's smirk grew wider and looked at Subaru. "I'll tell you as soon as we reach our house. Your house is not safe for you stay in for the moment, Kurogane-sensei," she said, turning around and walking. "Hurry, my car isn't far from here, and Fai-sensei needs some rest."

Kurogane and Subaru looked at each other before hurrying to follow the headmistress, Fai cradled in the stronger man's arms, asleep. Darkness was approaching and Kurogane couldn't help but feel uneasy. Something was wrong. Something was really, really wrong, and he didn't like that.

"Oh, and Kurogane?" said Yuuko airily from ahead.

"What?" he replied gruffly.

"You'll have to pay the price to me for saving your butts there!"

"WHAT?!"

* * *

**Okay, I admit. This chapter was totally random. I didn't really know what I was writing half the time and was going with the flow. I'm sorry, but this is the outcome, and I know you are all confused right now, but the next chapter will give you half the answers to explain what the hell is going on around here.**

**Oh, and I have good news here! Finally! KuroFai-ness in the next chapter! And (hopefully) quite a lot too!**

**NOTICE (!!): There will NOT be any chapters this week! Due to busy schedule and homework, I've so far written only half of the next chapter, so therefore there will be no updates this week! But I guarantee I'll update it next week (a longer chapter and with much KuroFai-ness too! I promise!)**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm sosososososoSO sorry for the last chapter! I knew it was short, but I lacked time to write it (psst due to my sis don't tell her that), so I had to continue in the little chappie! As I promised, explanations and KuroFai-ness! But I'm telling you, the explanations stop at a certain point, 'cause I want to leave ALL the big surprises for later chapters.**

… **What? I did promise a longer chapter!**

* * *

Kurogane sat impatiently on the couch, obviously annoyed and confused at the whole situation. He just wanted to get home and take a shower after work but ended up seeing a wounded Fai running around the place, almost got shot by a gun by someone he knew from the past, being saved by that damn witch, and if that wasn't embarrassing enough, he had to pay the whole damn price for it!

… Something was definitely wrong about Fai. What was he doing there, anyway? A wounded man definitely doesn't walk around aimlessly; maybe he was searching for that man he protected… Subaru, was it? That name sounded very, very familiar… And that man too… but he just can't seem to remember who he is. Who exactly was Fai? What connection did he have with them in the past?

But anyway, he guessed quite some time ago that Subaru was probably Yuuko's so called 'friend' that wanted to meet Fai, and she had probably been pulling the strings all along. She was the real boss here, the one who knew about the actual situation, but most importantly, about Fai.

Even though Kurogane wasn't sure whether the witch really was a witch, he was disturbed about the relationship he developed throughout the days with Fai. They had only met each other for maximum about half a year but had already become close to lovers. Close. Somehow, a speck of Kurogane's pride wouldn't allow him to admit they were lovers; they were close to it though. Even after sharing a first kiss, Kurogane couldn't admit to himself that he had grown attached to somebody else other than his sword.

Why the hell did he even grew attached to him, anyway? He was annoying, noisy, loud, not to mention calling Kurogane nicknames and embarrassing him as much as possible, forcing him to hug or worse, kiss him. **In public**.

But now, with Fai asleep upstairs, Kurogane just couldn't stop worrying about him. He just hope that the blonde was okay. If Fai had met those people before, which meant that Fai's past wasn't as simple as he thought it was. Sure, Kurogane had asked Fai before of his past, but the man would always divert his attention towards something else and always avoided the question, even when pressed. So, Kurogane left him alone. It was his past, so Fai could deal with it on his own if he wanted to, since it had nothing to do with him anyway. Who was he to force it out of him? But now, he swore he had never been so willing to know more about the blonde man, and had come to terms in horror of how little he actually knew about him.

Yuuko shut the door of Fai's room and walked down the stairs. Immediately, Subaru ran towards the headmistress, grabbed her by the collar and yanked her down until their faces were merely inches away.

"What is this?" he hissed softly, anger radiating from his eyes. "What the hell is this man doing here?!" Subaru pointed at Kurogane, who blinked in surprise. "Are you telling me that Fai's 'guardian' is this crazy man? Do you know who the hell he is?!" Subaru almost yelled at the end, huffing in anger.

"What the hell is going on here, witch?" growled Kurogane, joining in the club of demanding-to-know-what-the-hell-is-going-on. He was still unable to remember who the other man was, but he was starting to guess that this man might be involved with the Mafia, just as Kyle was

"Calm down, Subaru-san. Sit down and behave or I'll just have to **make** you," said Yuuko with an evil glint in her eyes. Seeing this as a warning, Subaru sat down warily, a little afraid of what Yuuko might have in store for him. If it's about wearing dresses again…

"I assure you, Subaru-san. Fai-kun is safe with this man. He'll never hurt him," she assured him with a knowing smile, flashing a trusting look to Kurogane.

"But he's-"

"I'm aware of whom he is, Subaru-san, but like I said, he'll never hurt Fai-kun, just as Kamui wouldn't hurt you," she interrupted. "They both have a connection, just as you and Kamui have. He'll never hurt him, and if he does… I know the consequences myself, Subaru-san," she said, turning towards Kurogane.

"Kuro-sensei, this is Subaru-san, one of the men under Fei Wong Reed's gang in the Mafia. Do you remember?" Kurogane's scarlet eyes widened at the name. Fei Wong Reed. Yes, he remembered him. He remembered the time when he worked for him, causing so many misdeeds and deaths. "He is one of Fai's guardians when the child was in Mafia captivity and was one of the men who helped him escape." Yuuko coughed before continuing. "Something very important came up and Subaru-san here wished for me to arrange a secret meeting between the both of them."

"Wait a second!" yelled Kurogane. "What's this about Fai's captivity and Ashura and this guy as guardians and the Mafia? Why hadn't I heard of any of these?"

Yuuko just shook her head in sadness. "You wouldn't have known, Kurogane." The gym teacher flinched at the name void of all honorifics or nicknames. The witch was being serious this time. "You were the one who helped shape this whole story. About Fai, Ashura, Subaru, Kamui. You were the one who brought them together, the base of this whole rather new story in the Mafia."

"Year 1995 in Florence, Italy at 9:55pm at a narrow alley near the bridge," interrupted Subaru, eyes glaring.

With a sickening stab in his gut, Kurogane realized what they were talking about.

"But that's not the important part," said Yuuko, shifting slightly, as if pondering what to tell the tall man next. "Fai-kun was very important to Fei's team, earning almost easy money for them needed for smuggling, and when he escaped, Fei Wong knew he needed to get him back, so he established mini Mafia teams throughout the world just to search for Fai-kun, who escaped by Ashura, Subaru and Kamui's help. Recently, they captured Ashura and threatened to kill him if Fai-kun doesn't hand over himself." With that, Yuuko stood up. "Both of them will have to leave soon. Fai had set his mind to rescue Ashura and since they had been discovered, more search teams will arrive here in Japan to search for them, and soon, they probably won't be able to leave Japan anymore."

He turned to Subaru when he noticed that the man was watching him carefully.

"So, are you coming?"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

_Running… running… panting… falling… running again…_

"_Hurry up, Yuui!" yelled a voice ahead of him. "Oh, Yuui dear, do hurry, please! Papa's probably coming now! We can't let him get to us! Oh, do hurry!" Yuui lifted his head and could barely see his mother through the sweat covering his eyes, glazed in exhaustion from running all day. Before the boy could even blink, his legs gave away underneath him and he collapsed, face first on the dirty ground._

"_Yuui!" yelled another voice not far away from him. He heard skittering footsteps, the sound of shoes hitting the ground, and soon, the mirror image of him was helping him up. Fai, too, was covered in sweat and drew deep breathes, panting and on the verge of collapsing. "Yuui! We have to hurry! Papa probably got his mates chasing us now! C'mon! I'll carry you!" panted Fai, trying to heave the other onto his shoulder. But before he could, a piercing scream tore through the air. _

"_MAMA!" yelled the twins, turning towards their mother, who collapsed a few feet away from them, blood starting to pool around her dead body._

_At that time, Yuui wasn't aware of Fai clutching onto his sleeve in fear, nor the fact that his mother was dead all of a sudden. Cold icicle of fear slipped into his heart and stomach, making him want to vomit all over, his attention focused only on the dark figure standing before his mother's bleeding body._

_A figure taller than the both of them stood firmly on the ground, clutching his bloody blade, glistening in the moonlight. Judging from the figure, the man or whoever he was, the figure was merely a teenager, probably about a few years older than both he and Fai. The figure clutched his blade tighter around his palm and stepped forward._

_A suppressed scream rose to his throat as he ran, dragging Fai along with him as the figure started chasing them. It's just that this time, the figure was the cat and they were the mouse, ready to be eaten._

_They didn't run for long. The figure ran a lot faster than them, and soon he was above the children, raising his sword in the air._

_Fai turned around and his eyes widened._

_Yuui turned around._

_The blade sliced downwards._

_The sound of blade entering flesh._

_A scream._

"_**Fai!" **_

The chemistry teacher sat up in bed, sweat rolling down his forehead, face drenched in tears. He panted, as if having just run a marathon, his chest rising and falling rapidly. After surveying the area to make sure he was safe, the man covered his eyes with his hand, trying to calm himself.

"Oi."

Fai jumped and would have fallen from the bed if Kurogane hadn't been there to support him. He blinked as he felt warm arms wrapping itself around his thin, shivering frame. The blonde turned around and saw Kurogane beside him, holding him, eyes shimmering with worry.

Before Fai could react, the taller of the two shifted Fai in his arms until the man was resting on his chest. The blonde quickly tried to wipe away his tears, but his hand was seized by the gym teacher. Fai bowed his head, not wanting to see red eyes that were so threatening yet mesmerizing at the same time.

"… A nightmare?" asked the gruff voice. Fai didn't reply. He just kept his head bowed, but the gruff man would have none of that. He cupped the blonde's face and forced him to look up into his (to Fai) terrifying red eyes. He had never been caught by Kurogane while having a nightmare, and he really didn't want that to happen, not when he was always so fragile after a nightmare.

"Answer me, damnit!"

"Please… just leave me alone…" he muttered, surprised to hear his own voice so… weak and broken, barely above a whisper. He rested his head on Kurogane's chest, closing his eyes. He was still tired, exhausted in fact. He was almost asleep when a voice interrupted him.

"Oi, are you alright?" The amount concern in the other's voice made the chemistry teacher jump again. Since when did Kurogane sound so concern about him? Even they were in love, Kurogane had never been one to voice out his concerns and fears. He always hid it, thinking it would ruin his tough image.

"Please… I'm tired… Just let me sleep…" He felt the back of Kurogane's hand touching his forehead. "You don't have a fever…" he said, frowning. "Are you okay? You were crying and screaming in your sleep."

His words struck a cord inside of Fai and he snapped. He remembered his dead mother, his brother, Ashura, Subaru, Kamui, Fei Wong Reed, Kyle and all the others. He thought about the Mafia. He thought about what they did to him. Memories and flashbacks sliced into his consciousness, forcing him to experience all the pain, the despair, the anguish, the anger, all of it at once. It welled up in his chest until the only thing he could feel was hopelessness. Weakly, he pushed Kurogane away, but the man's grip was tight. Tears blurred his vision.

"We… we can't keep this going anymore, Kurogane…" The gruff man flinched at the absence of the nickname. He looked down at the smaller man. He was crying again. What the hell was going on?

"What do you mean?"

"We… we can't keep this going, I mean, I… I have to go."

"I know that."

The blonde looked up in surprise. He… knew? But who…

"That Subaru guy and the witch filled me in, and I don't care what you're thinking, but I'm going," he said firmly, holding Fai tighter in his arms. "I'm going with you."

"But why?! Why can't you just let go? It was a mistake from me to fall in love with you! I'll be nothing but a burden to you in the future!" he almost yelled before lying limp in Kurogane's chest, tears still flowing down his porcelain cheeks as he sobbed. The gym teacher was shocked to silence, and wrapped his arms tighter around the other and stroked his hair, trying to offer some form of comfort through the other's fear. "All I want is a normal life, to fall in love, to be happy…" muttered Fai to himself. "…Is that so hard?"

Kurogane knew he had to do something. That dream must have been really scary to drive Fai into this state of fear. He grabbed Fai's shoulders and shook him, hard.

"Damnit, wake up!" he yelled in his face, causing the blonde to recoil, eyes wide with fear. But the Kurogane's grip was strong. "You idiot," he hissed "You're such an idiot!"

"Wh-what?" asked Fai, confused.

"Look, I don't care what happened to you in the past, what your connection with the Mafia is or whatever you're hiding from me. I don't fucking care. You are not a burden and never will be, and are you such an idiot to think that I'll let you go that easily? I love you, and I'll always protect you. That's why I'll come with you, got it? The witch is out to buy the flight tickets, and it's already too late to make me stay.

Fai was speechless, shocked to have received such an answer from Kurogane. He never expected an answer like this from him, considering he was so mean and heartless most of the time around everybody but him. Maybe… beneath all those hard faces and cold steel, there was still a soft, kind heart?

… Does that mean, underneath all of his masks and broken shards of glass, there was still a heart?

There was still a real him? A part of Yuui left?

There… there was still… light?

Hope?

"… Kuro-daddy must be lying when he said he hated mushy stuff, because he's a mushy guy himself." Fai laughed, chuckling weakly.

"Shut up," Kurogane snapped, though his lips came to rest on the other's forehead, showering him with kisses. "Just go to sleep."

Fai closed his eyes again, resting in this strong and warm embrace, knowing that for the first time in his life, he knew he was safe and happy.

Hope.

* * *

**OH LORDS THIS BLOODY CHAPTER IS FINALLY DONE!! **

**Notice 1 : First, I would like to tell all of you that it will be INCREASINGLY hard for me to update until probably 17****th**** of October. I have a trial coming up and a very, very, VERY important government exam coming up the next month and on October and considering the fact that I live with my mum and sis, well, it'll be hard to update. If I'm unlucky, there will probably be at least two chapters up until that time. If lucky, well, there will be more. So, I'm afraid no updates next week. Only God will know when I get the chance to.**

**Notice 2: Since this is my first attempt in REAL romance, I am, as you all know, an amateur of it, so I need advice. I noticed I've been speeding up things a little to fast and that means not enough character and relationship development, so I need HALP! Advice on how-to-write-KuroFai-fics-or-romance-fics and of course, any ways to improve their relationship and develop their character in a non-boring way, and how long should I keep it up, or any other need to know facts about writing KuroFai fics. Your helps will be greatly, greatly, GREATLY appreciated.**

**So, that's all I have to say. If any of you can help or drop a review by, I'll really appreciate it. (And the more reviews, the faster I'll update, seriously. I'm motivated by reviews!)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Oh yeah, the new chapter's up! Finally! But before it starts, I wanna thank Ominous Shadow, Inuyasha SIT and Chibi Moko-chan for all advises and suggestions they gave. It really, really helped me a lot.**

**And to the people is reading this fic, I'm really very grateful to all of to have the patience to wait so long for this update. I'm really very sorry for the late update and thank you so much for waiting.**

**I DO NOT OWN TSUBASA! (Yes, have you read that? That's the proof that I don't own it! Hah!)**

* * *

Yuuko booked flight tickets for them that were due to Rome the following morning, so they only had a night to pack their things. With Fai being injured and tired, Subaru and Kurogane had to do all the packing for him as well as theirs and only managed to sleep for a few hours due to the fact that Fai's house was completely messy and they had a hard time finding his belongings in his house, especially his shoes: they found a few pairs in the fridge.

What kind of person would put their own **shoes **in the damn fridge?!

But besides the fact that the blonde had been chirping nonsense all the way to Rome, he was pretty content with their journey for the day. After reaching their destination, they got a map and rented a car and Fai still remembered where his old house was. Everything was going smoothly.

That is, until Subaru volunteered to drive.

What happened after that, Kurogane wasn't sure.

Fai grabbed for the paper bag handed out by Kurogane and puked.

Kurogane yelled over the screaming engines.

Subaru was totally oblivious to the fact that he was driving at precisely 110km/h down the road.

"Subaru-san?" asked Fai in a feeble voice after just having to vomit. "Can you please drive a little slower?" The blonde never knew that one of his guardians' had the bravery to speed down the street so quickly, especially not the one who was always so kind and withdrawn. "Please?" he tried begging again.

There was no reaction. Damn the screaming engines.

"WILL YOU JUST STOP THE BLOODY DRIVING AND STOP RUNNING OVER A RED LIGHT FOR ONCE YOU CRAZY BASTARD!"

Still no reaction.

Just when the gruff man decided to yell again, the car took a sharp turn and skidded to a halt. All three of them was forced forwards then backwards violently, a pale Fai on the verge of puking again, Kurogane on the verge of screaming as Subaru remain unperturbed. Fai poked his head out of the window to take a look. Yes, this was definitely his house. It was small compared to the surrounding houses it was definitely dirtier than before, but yes, it was definitely his house. The little toy kitty still hung in front of the door.

"Is this it?"

Fai nodded. "There's a garage around here, but it's on the other side of the house. I'll show you." Secretly groaning inside, the blonde could only wish that he wouldn't puke again, and the burns on his skin are starting to hurt again under the white bandages. He let out a soft whimper, hoping no one would notice.

Kurogane spared a side glance at the chemistry teacher while he guided them to his garage. Apparently the blonde would need more rest and medication than they first thought. Maybe it's best for them to lay low for the moment and let Fai rest before searching for that Ashura guy.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The house was in a mess.

Well, considering that it had been raided once, Fai wasn't really surprised. In fact, if he was, he probably wouldn't have the energy to be so. Puking had seeped all his energy away, and despite the fact that he could still stand, the blonde was swaying slightly.

The gym teacher eyed him carefully and sighed. "You," he pointed towards Fai. "Bed," he said sternly.

Fai jerked with surprise at the voice and nodded, not bothering to look behind him. He dropped his bags and walked slowly towards one of the rooms like a zombie, closing the door behind him. The man dropped onto his bed and was asleep instantly.

The moment the door clicked, Subaru glared at the taller man. "Right. So you hurt him first and now you're order him to do things against his own will." The man rolled his eyes. Great. Since when was he becoming like Kamui? Now he understood his annoyance towards some of the men in the Mafia. You just hate them from the first time you ever set eyes upon them.

Kurogane returned a darker glare. "You've been with him for such a long time, so don't tell me you never knew that idiot doesn't know how to take care of himself." At that point, Subaru closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes, that child has always driven himself to the edge just to do his best for others, never for himself," he said, smiling. "He's such a good child," he continued, glancing at the closed door, a sad smile on his face. "It's so sad that he has to take up so many burdens at such a young age."

The gym teacher looked at the door, a wave of guilt rushing through him. It was his fault that Fai was in the state he is now.

"Yeah."

They stood like that for a while, sadness washing and freezing their hearts, filling the dreadful silence. It wasn't until a bird's chirping did they wake from their state. Subaru proceeded to tidy up the room, ignoring the other man. Kurogane frowned, remembering the question he wanted to ask.

"Why does he keep his shoes in the fridge?" he turned to Subaru. The man smiled sadly, silent for a moment before answering.

"Fai had always been running from his problems every since he was a kid. He doesn't run away from it directly, but would try to avoid such situations as soon as he could and sometimes being unable to accept a situation. He wished that by frequently putting his shoes inside a fridge and then wearing it, the shoes will eventually freeze his legs with the coldness and eventually stops him from running anymore."

Kurogane didn't know what to say, so he just kept quiet. That was the craziest idea he had ever heard of.

"You know, this was where my brother Kamui and Fai lived after they first escaped from the Mafia. They stayed here for quite a few years before the Mafia found out the location and raided it. Thank God they anticipated it and were gone when they arrived."

"So where's your brother now?"

Subaru was silent. "I don't know," he said, his eyes downcast. He was worried. Where is Kamui? Why hasn't he contact him in such a long time? Is he dead? Is he alive? He didn't have the answers. What brother wouldn't know about his other's whereabouts and situation?

Knowing he had hit a nerve, Kurogane grunted and continued helping Subaru tidy up the living room. They're probably going to stay here for a long time anyway.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Fai woke up with a start. Sitting up in bed, the blonde looked out of the window. It was dark, and the room looked tidier when he first arrived. Apparently, someone has been busy cleaning up while he was sleeping. The blonde cursed inwardly. They should have waited for him to help them clean up the place. Sighing, he stood up and twisted the door knob, surprised that the pain from the burns was gone. Apparently, someone had tended to him while he was asleep either.

The first thing the blonde heard after opening the door was yelling and the smell of soot. He panicked and quickly dashed towards the living room and noticed that the smoke was coming from the kitchen.

"Put out that fire! Damnit! Where's the fire extinguisher?!"

"I've got it! I've got it!"

"Hurry!"

There was the sound of someone running towards the other end of the kitchen and Fai sweatdropped. Already he knew what was going on here. He didn't know about Kurogane, but Subaru was really bad at cooking. He could even burn span. I mean, who could actually burn span? He never thought it was possible at first. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of foam from the fire extinguisher spraying out from the tank itself.

"Gah! Don't spray at me, you idiot! It's the stove that's on fire, not me!"

"Well, I wouldn't be spraying at you if you hadn't set the stove on fire in the first place! So just shut the hell up and let me do the job!"

"Who are you calling a useless freak?!"

"I didn't even say that!"

Fai continued to stare dumbly at the smoke and tried to ignore the spraying and yelling and crashing from the kitchen. After a while, when the smoke finally cleared, the lithe blonde was greeted by the sight of Subaru and Kurogane covered in foam, trying to snatch the fire extinguisher from each other's hands, growling at each other. The stove was covered in foams as well, and cutlery and dishes and bowls as well as newly bought ingredients were lying everywhere.

The kitchen was in a mess.

Both men continued fighting.

Fai continued staring.

But the moment Kurogane and Subaru noticed the blonde, their fight halted abruptly. All three of them stared at each other dumbly, blinking occasionally with their wide and confused eyes.

Kurogane was the first the react in this situation. Instantly, his face blushed into a bright shade of red. Trying to cover his embarrassment of being caught in such childish acts, the gruff man dropped the fire extinguisher. "I'll go get something to clean this up," he muttered under his breath before leaving.

Fai and Subaru continued to stare at each other for a moment before sighing, a soft smile plastered on the blonde's face while he shook his head though Subaru sighed in disapproval.

"Did you burn the stove again?"

"… Yeah."

Fai giggled and settled on the couch, unable to stop smiling. Strange, every day since his childhood he had been dreaming to smile a real smile and was never able to, and now he just couldn't stop smiling. Maybe… things would get better? Perhaps it was really possible to have a happy ending?

Subaru noticed the smile his face showed his surprise before it was replaced by a soft smile. Seeing Fai smiling like that instantly calmed his mood.

"I can't believe you actually like someone like that crazy guy like him," he huffed, looking at the blonde with slight amusement. "What exactly do you see in him?"

Fai thought about it for a while, frowning in deep concentration. He had never thought about that before, but all of a sudden, his face broke into a wide, mischievous smile as the conclusion came to him.

"Actually, I don't see anything in him. All I need is for Kuro-pii to be himself."

* * *

**Yes, an absolutely random and crappy chapter. Please don't complain, I'm just following my instinct. And yes, I'm taking things a little slower for a few chapters to balance out the speed of the story.**

**Notice: I'm not sure if I'll be able to update next week, but if I can I definitely will. For the week after next week, there is a high possibility of me being able to update either. Unfortunately, from the 28****th ****September to the 17****th**** of October, I won't be able to update 'cause my government exam is coming, BUT from the 23****rd**** of October onwards, the story will be able to resume back to its original updating speed (one chapter per week).**

**Reviews would DEFINITELY help me update a little faster.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 is up!**

**Disclaimer: … Tsubaaaaasa!**

* * *

"… What's this?"

"Rotten shark carcass! It's a dish from Iceland! Since there were sharks sold in the market today, I thought it would be fun if I made this dish today, especially since Kuro-puppy has to eat it!"

"I'M NOT A PUPPY, DAMN IT!"

As days went by, Fai's condition was getting better and better. His wounds were slowly healing, and though it still hurt and slowed him down, he was able to cook for them and felt very much awake compared to the past few days when they arrived.

That is why they decided to let him make dinner tonight, which was obviously a very, very big mistake.

Kurogane picked up part of the 'thing' that was supposed to be dinner with his fork. After examining it for a moment, he dropped the utensil and crossed his arms. "I'm not eating this."

"But Kuro-riiiiiiin!" Fai whined. "You knew I took 3 hours just to make this specially for the both of you!"

"I told you! I'm not eating and that's final!" He lifted his face to see Fai staring at him with big, teary eyes. "And no! That puppy face of yours isn't going to work this time!" Kurogane almost yelled before sulking like a petulant child.

Fai pouted and turned to Subaru. The man was poking the food with his fork, doubtful. "Erm… Fai? You're not trying to kill us, are you?"

"Of course not! Please Subaru-san! Taste it and prove to Kuro-pipi that it's edible!"

Filled with anxiety and doubt, Subaru picked up a piece of the food and slowly stuffed it in his mouth. Kurogane could see that although the man was trying to hide it as best as he could, he could see his eyes growing wide and that Subaru was trying very, very hard just to chew it, his face scrunched up in concealed pain. After a long moment, the man finally swallowed it before glancing at a hopeful Fai and an anxious Kurogane.

"It's… nice?" offered Subaru, not wanting to upset the blonde. He knew Fai had been busy for the whole afternoon by just preparing this special dish and he didn't want the effort to be in vain. The blonde beamed at the answer. "See, Kuro-puu?" He turned his head towards the gym teacher. "Subaru-san said it's nice, so you better eat up!"

"I told you: I. Am. Not. Eating. This. Piece. Of. Junk, and that's final," he said, leaning back on the chair. It looks disgusting and he was definitely not going to eat it.

Fai frowned, wishing there was some way to force the Japanese man to take a bite. Suddenly, an idea sparked inside his mind and a dark, mischievous grin slowly formed on his face. Kurogane sense a chill running down his spine. With that sinister smile plastered on his face, it could only mean one thing: the end of the world.

Before that thought could even process in his brain, the shorter of the two lunged at his taller companion, pushing him as the both of them hit the ground.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU-"

Something disgusting was shoved into his mouth.

A soft "Oh!" filled the silence that was soon accompanied by giggles.

After a long minute of chewing and swallowing and choking, Kurogane finally regained his breath in precisely 5 minutes. He shoved the blonde out of his way and glared at him as he turned and walked away, slamming the door shut behind him.

Fai stared at where Kurogane was a few minutes ago, a hurtful expression on his face. He lowered his head, blonde bangs obscuring his blue eyes from view. The blonde stood up and left the room as well, guilt and despair welling up in his heart.

Subaru just stared with a sad expression on his face.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Fai grabbed his coat and twisted the door knob, opening the door. It was already dark and the blonde knew it was dangerous to be out at such a time, but he didn't care. He just needed time to be alone: to wallow in his grief and memories, just for the moment. The first thing that greeted him was the chilly wind, and the man shivered, pulling his coat tighter around him as he strolled down the street.

Everything was a mess. Who was he to force Kurogane to eat if he didn't want to? He had just ruined his once in a lifetime chance searching for the one for him, his angel. Now that Kurogane was mad, who would bother to help him let go of his past?

Who would release him from his past? Who would take this ruined man to somewhere new, to somewhere safe?

_Who would guide him home?_

Fai.

Ashura.

Subaru.

Kamui.

_Kurogane._

Tears streamed the blonde his face as he drowned within his past, his present and the thought that he might never find the way home in his cold, lonely world.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Kurogane huffed, trying to distract himself from what had happened earlier. Maybe he had been too hard on Fai; after all, he was just trying to play with him…

No, he thought. Even if he wanted to joke around, it's not right to force someone to do what he never wanted to in the first place. What Fai did was wrong.

… But come to think of it, that was what he did to Fai a long time ago.

He turned his attention back to a medical book he was currently trying to pay attention to. What were these books doing here anyway? He was sure that someone life Fai would never have the patience to read and memorize facts like that at all, and almost all the books here are about medicine, perhaps it belonged to Kamui…

Kurogane sighed and lifted his head. What was Fai doing now? He was still mad at the blonde, but he still worried over him. He wouldn't do something as stupid as suicide… right? Kurogane cursed him for worrying so much. He shouldn't, should he? It was Fai's fault, and he must have understood that.

… Since when did he care so much? He never cared about anyone so dearly after losing his sister, Tomoyo. Come to think of it, it's been so long since then. After her death, Kurogane lost the ability to love and care and protect anybody, since the one whom he cared so much died despite all of his efforts.

He stared out of the window into the night sky, decorated with tiny, white stars.

Kurogane couldn't help but wonder if one of them was Tomoyo.

The gym teacher was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice desperate footsteps approaching his room. Suddenly, the door burst open, revealing a pale Kamui that looked on the verge of crying.

"Fai's gone."

Kurogane's eyes widened.

_Damnit._

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Fai didn't know how long he walked. Shivering, the man continued his journey until reaching the Piazza di Spagna. This was the only place Ashura had brought him to. He remembered marveling the beauty of the Spanish Steps and the Piazza. This was the place. This was the place he needed to be in now. He needed to think, needed to clear his thoughts, especially thoughts of the black haired man he was now slowly falling in love with.

The place was completely empty and Fai could hear nothing. He walked towards the fountain at the foot of the Spanish Steps: Fontana della Barcaccia, it was called.

"_Well?" asked Ashura as he looked at the tiny blonde beside him, his blue eyes big and wide as he took in the view. "Do you like it?"_

_Fai breathed in and nodded vigorously as he continued staring at the Piazza with big, wide eyes. It's so huge, he thought. It was so beautiful and huge and so, so peaceful. It must look even prettier during the day, since they came here at night and much of its beauty was covered in darkness. The fountain in the middle of the Piazza caught his eye. The little boy tugged at Ashura's sleeve._

"_Yes?"_

"_What's this, Ashura-san?" he asked, pointing at the fountain._

"_It's called the Fontana della Barcaccia, that means 'The Fountain of the Old Boat'," interjected Kamui, totally uninterested. Subaru nudged him softly for being rude, smiling sheepishly as Kamui glared at his brother. Fai didn't notice and continued staring at the fountain._

"_Why does it have a half-sunken ship in the middle of it?" he asked, looking up at Ashura. He smiled, marveling the boy's curiosity._

"_The shape was chosen because, prior to the river walls being built, the __Tiber__ often flooded and in __1598__, there was one particularly bad flooding and the Piazza di Spagna was flooded up to a meter. Once the water withdrew, a boat was left behind in the square," he said, ruffling the boy's hair. "This fountain was built from that memory."_

"_Ashura?"_

"_Yes, Subaru?"_

"_It's almost time. I think we should head back before they realize that we're gone. They might hurt Fai if they find out that we left without permission."_

"_But- but-" Fai looked desperate." I want to see the Piazza, Ashura-san! Please! I just want to see the Piazza a little longer!" Fai exclaimed, teary eyes meeting Ashura's own. All 3 of them looked at the boy with sad expressions on their faces._

"_I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we have to return. You don't want you get hurt more than you already are by now," he replied. "You don't want us to get hurt too, do you?" The boy shook his head. "Then it's best that we return. I'll bring you here again when we have time, okay?"_

In the end they never returned. Kamui brought him here once to fulfill Ashura's wish, but it was different without him or Subaru. It's been so long since then. How many years have passed since he last saw him? He wondered if Ashura had changed since then.

He really, really missed him.

He stared up into the sky as he stared at the stars. It looked so beautiful, and he wondered if Ashura was staring at the stars at well.

Alone.

He was all alone in his life. There was mother and Fai in the beginning, but they have moved on. Then there was Ashura, Kamui, Subaru and him: a one big family, but things changed, and pushed by circumstances, they were forced to separate, and Fai felt lonely once again.

Until Kurogane came. But now it seemed that the man didn't want to have anything to do with him.

Is there really no one for him in the world? Is there really no place in the world where he can call home?

… Are there really no angels in the world who would take his hand and guide him home?

"FAI!"

The blonde broke from his thoughts and spun around. An exhausted Kurogane ran towards him, and my, he looked _furious_. He waited for the gym teacher to reach him.

"What do you want?" he asked coldly. Kurogane flinched at the voice.

"What were you thinking going out in the middle of the night just like that? There could be people tailing you, or even trying to kidnap you! What? You thought you could actually dodge-" Kurogane stopped his shouting when he noticed something amiss.

"Hey, have you been crying?" Fai looked up at the other, surprised. Kurogane ran his thumb below his sapphire eyes. "You're eyes are red."

The blonde bowed his head, not wanting to look at the tall man in front of him. He didn't want Kurogane to think that he was a sissy, or someone who would cry over something as stupid as food. He was surprised yet again when he felt arms circling around him, pulling him into what he could only describe as warmth.

"I'm sorry, 'kay? I shouldn't have treated you that way, so don't cry," Kurogane whispered into his ear, a tingle of annoyance accompanying the soft growl. The arms around Fai wrapped him tightly in the embrace.

Fai felt tears tingling at the corner of his eyes. The lithe man wrapped his arms softly around Kurogane's neck, squeezing it tighter as waves of emotions hidden so long suddenly rushed into his heart. "Don't leave me alone…" he whispered, squeezing harder, a few drop of tears squeezed themselves out of his eyes. "Please don't leave me… I don't want to be lonely again…"

Kurogane felt his heart break at the words that were whispered so softly and desperately. He stroked the blonde's hair reassuringly. "I won't," he promised. "I won't."

They stayed like that for a long moment, a comfortable and reassuring silence between them. It wasn't until a soft huffing drew their attention back to reality. Subaru was leaning against a pillar, gasping for air.

"You… should have… told me… where you were… going…" He managed between gasps of breath. I had to… search for the… both of you all over… the place…" Subaru leaned heavily against the pillar. Fai smiled sheepishly and hurried over to his guardian.

"Sorry for making to worry, Subaru-san. I should have told you where I was going," he said, letting Subaru lean on him for the moment.

"It's late. Maybe we should head back." Kurogane pointed out. Subaru closed his eyes and nodded, and the three of them head back to the house they were staying at. Fai was smiling softly, Kurogane's warm hand holding hism squeezing it lightly. The blonde squeezed back.

Fai had found his angel.

… The stars must be watching them from the dark night sky.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

A dark figure took out his walkie-talkie.

"Boss?"

"Yeah?"

"They're in Rome."

* * *

**Whew! Finally done! Now, on with the rambling! Since I wasn't able to update last week, I'll try updating again next week, but it'll be really hard, so don't be surprise if I didn't. Unfortunately, no more updates until around the 23****rd**** of October. Stupid exams.**

**Reviews? It does work, you know. I woke up at 6am just to finish this chapter.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm back again with Chapter 11! ****By the way, if anyone was wondering whether Syaoran or Sakura might appear in the story, they will, albeit a little later.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa, not now, not ever. (sob)**

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Kyle sat on the chair, guarding the current hideout of one of the Mafia branches with a very, very bored and miserable look on his face. A few days ago, the man had been yelled at by his boss for losing Fai back in Japan, and there was a strong suspicion that they might already be here now, though there were still no traces of their appearance by any of the guards keeping watch around Italy. Still, that didn't quell the boss' fear and anger.

He ran his hand through his hair, unleashing a string of very foul curses. Well, you would be if you have your butt kicked out of the committee and have your life's work stripped away for you. Right now, he was reduced to nothing but a bodyguard, banned to take part in any mission.

Cursing once again, Kyle drew his gun out of his pocket and tapped it on his palm. He would have to vent out his anger in some other way than shooting his boss.

Soft footsteps alerted him as he sprang out of his chair, gun aiming at an unseen enemy. "Who's there?" he half-yelled, voice cutting clearly through the night air.

"It's just me," said a woman's voice as a figure shone clearly in the light afterwards, walking towards Kyle.

"Xing Huo?" eyed Kyle suspiciously. "What the hell are you doing here?" The woman has currently replaced Kyle as the boss' assistant, so what the hell was she doing here, talking to a low life? Kyle's eyes never left Xing Huo as he lowered his gun cautiously.

The woman threw a file towards Kyle and he caught it swiftly, then opened and inspected the file. Slowly, his eyes widened.

"They found him a few days ago, along with Subaru and the so-called Kurogane. They're all currently in Rome, and we suspect they might be living in his old house," said Xing Huo in a monotonous voice. "Boss is giving you a chance to get your position back. You have three days." With that, she turned and walked away.

Kyle was left dumbstruck for few a moments, hardly daring to believe the godsend chance that was given to him. Slowly, a smirk spread on his face as he clutched the file tightly.

"My lucky day."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Fai clutched his head in his hands and let out a cry of frustration. He had spent the whole afternoon trying to figure out the rough location of the place Ashura was held captive, and so far, all he met was a dead end at every attempt.

The chemistry teacher frowned and took the paper in his hands, inspecting it once more, trying to figure out where the hell he was supposed to go.

_Fine art surrounds you as you fall,_

_Our men shall come to you at four,_

_Evening would be better than dawn,_

_C you at the 14__th__ of May, right there._

No doubt this message was supposed to be passed to him a little later with a threat, since it was only the start of April. In order to find the Mafia's branch hideout, he needed to solve where in the world he was supposed to meet them. Usually, the hideout of the specific team for handling this mission is located somewhere near that place. The message clearly said 'fine art', but Italy is filled with art. So where the hell was he supposed to go? The blonde was sure that 'C you' must mean something important, since they could write 'See you' instead of 'C you'. So that means the beginning of the alphabets of each sentence was needed, but by putting it all together doesn't make any sense, so how…

"Fai?"

The blonde turned around. Upon seeing Subaru's worried face at the door, he smiled.

"What is it, Subaru-san?"

"I've been calling you for at least 10 times now. Dinner's ready!" His eyes followed Fai's hand to the note that was held in his hand.

" … Any breakthroughs?" Fai shook his head. "I tried using the first words of every sentence and arranging the sentences according to the number of words in ascending and descending order and at least 10 other complicated ways, but none of it makes sense!"

Subaru shut the door from behind. "Well, I tried taking out all the important bits from the message and add together the first or last alphabets together as well as from the unimportant bits and nothing came up, so perhaps you can save doing that as well." Subaru smiled. "C'mon, come take a break and eat something." With that, the man grabbed Fai and dragged him out of the room in a playful way.

"Besides, it's not like you can afford to stare at the message from head to tail for the whole day," Subaru laughed gently.

They were half way to the kitchen before something struck the blonde.

_Head to tail._

_He said head to tail._

_Head_ and_ tail._

Fai's eyes widened.

Immediately, the chemistry teacher broke free from Subaru's grasp and ran back into the room, grabbing a pencil and scribbled down all possibilities available. No wonder something felt wrong, he had been doing it all in the wrong way! After a few attempts, Fai finally got the answer. He smiled in satisfaction.

_By joining all the first alphabets of the sentences with the last alphabets of the sentences, one will get…_

"Florence." Fai whispered excitedly. He looked at Subaru who just entered the room. "Florence," he repeated.

Subaru blinked.

"What?"

"Ashura's in Florence."

Subaru stood there, blinking stupidly for a moment before smiling. He raised his hand.

"High five." The both of them clapped each other's hand at the achievement, grinning.

When they proceeded to leave, there was a crash from the living room. Both men jumped and quickly backed away, staring at the slightly opened door.

Shouts from familiar and unfamiliar voices could be heard. Adrenalin kicked into action as Fai quickly opened the table's drawer and drew a few knives and hid them from view. It wasn't long before Kurogane rushed into the room, sword drawn as he panted heavily.

"Get the hell out of here!" he yelled.

Shortly after, the door to the room slammed open and a number of armed men entered, guns pointing at three of them. Instinctively, Kurogane stepped between them; sword drawn.

"What the hell-" Kurogane hissed. At that moment, another man entered the room, a smirk painted on his face. The gym teacher growled.

Kyle.

"Damn it!" Kurogane cursed. How did they found out they were here so quickly? His mind slipped back a few days ago when Fai went out to the Piazza di Spagna. Someone in the shadow must have seen them. He cursed the lithe man mentally for being so reckless.

Kyle's smirked grew wider at Kurogane's obvious anger before turning his attention to Fai. "You gave me the slip in Japan, my dear Fai. That's not going to happen again, I can assure you." He signaled to the men around him. "Get him."

The men surrounding them raised their guns.

Kurogane's red eyes widened and Subaru quickly pulled all three of them down to the ground.

Instantly, Kurogane drew his sword as he attacked from below, rushing towards them who just started firing. With a loud cry, the gruff man shoved his sword forward, killing one of the men as he rammed into another, forcing him to stumble as he knocked heavily onto the others before charging at them and brought his sword forward.

With that distraction, Fai drew his knives from their hiding place and threw them towards Kyle. The man saw it and quickly dodged, drew his gun and aimed at the blonde. Instantly, Subaru threw himself forward, tackling Kyle to the ground as Fai rushed to grab his gun. With much struggle, he finally managed to pry the gun away from the stone grip and pointed it at the owner himself as Subaru finally managed to pin him down on the ground.

With that, all action in the room suddenly ceased. Kyle's men – some injured by Kurogane's sword or Fai's knives – stopped fighting as they saw their boss' life being threatened. Not that they really cared, they just didn't want to be killed if Kyle managed to live through this. All eyes were on Kyle. They expected him to growl, curse, or doing whatever that was Kyle-like, but they never expected him to do what he did next.

He chuckled.

"What is it?" snapped Kurogane as Subaru tightened his grip on the man, refusing to let him go.

There was a hidden glint of amusement in his eyes. "No, it's just, I just can't imagine the man who kidnapped dear Fai here, killed his family and made him suffer through all those tortures in the Mafia for years actually protecting him with his life right now."

Silence hung in the air and things stayed like that for a while. Kyle smiled inwardly as he saw the blonde struggling to regain his composure. For a moment, he just stared at Kyle and remained speechless.

"What… are you saying?"

"C'mon, can't you tell the difference?"

"Shut up!" hissed Subaru as he tightened his grip further. Kyle cringed in pain, though the smirk never left his face.

"That night, that figure that killed your mother and brother, can't you find any similarities with someone here in the ro-"

"SHUT UP!" yelled Kurogane. God, please, not here, not known. Fai had suffered as much as he had, the gruff man knew that. He didn't want to add to his misery. He spared a glance at the blonde worriedly. "Don't listen to him."

It was too late. Fai's eyes started to fade as he spaced out; drowning in the sea of memories. Kyle's words sunk into his mind as he remembered the incident that still haunts him at night, even though it was such a long time ago.

_The dark figure that stood before his mother's body._

_The bloody blade that glistened in the moonlight._

Fai shifted his gaze to Kurogane's sword, now bloody. He almost choked, eyes widening in fear and disbelief.

_The figure that stood over him mercilessly as he cried and sobbed, clutching his dead brother's body tightly to his chest._

He remembered staring at the evil figure looming over him as he cried, before grabbing him and shoving his head into a bag. The hand was strangely calloused and rough.

_He looked so young, probably older than him by merely a few years._

Fai looked at Kurogane in horror, his mouth opening in a silent scream.

_The figure had spiky hair, and with the moonlight, Fai thought he saw red in those eyes, the eyes of a demon, but thought better of it. Must be a trick of the light. No man has red eyes._

Fai looked like he was losing himself as the images piece themselves together and the cruel yet undeniable truth finally washed over him. He stared at Kurogane for a long while and his eyes were horror stricken.

A heavy silence wrapped in the room. Kurogane could feel himself panic slightly. He had hoped that Fai wouldn't have to find out about that bit of information, at least, not that soon, and especially not now. He could feel fear creeping into his heart. How would Fai react? Judging from his wide eyes that looked like it was about to pop out from its sockets as well as the mouth hanging open, the gruff man could feel himself being crushed under the cerulean gaze roiling with mixed emotions: surprise, anger, fear, disbelief, but foremost, betrayal.

"… It was you?" A choked voice whispered, tears forming in his eyes. "…You killed my mother? You killed Fai? You-" Fai's voice was interrupted with a sob, tears slowly trickling down his cheeks as his mind relived the memory again and again. Oh, how could he have missed it?! Everything he remembered about the dark figure he was trying so hard to forget fit perfectly with the man he loved standing in front of him right now.

… So that was it? That was the reason why Kurogane had been trying so hard to protect Fai ever since Subaru came? That was the reason for his sudden change of behavior towards him?

You mean… he never loved him at all? All this time? You mean, all this time, it wasn't love? It was just pity? Or was it guilt that drove him to do what he did and nothing otherwise?

That… was it?

That was it?

All of a sudden, the betrayal quickly turned into red hot anger as hatred soared from the very core of his heart, blocking all rational thoughts and filling him with nothing but fiery rage that tore through his lithe body.

"You…" he hissed and narrowed his eyes, and Kurogane shrank back inwardly at the amount of anger and hatred, insanity slowly creeping into those dark, blue eyes.

"You..." Fai panted in anger. "It was you. You ruined me. You ruined my life. You killed my mother and brother when we had the chance to live. You… you.." Fai didn't notice his voice getting louder and louder. "YOU TURNED ME INTO A VICTIM OF SNUFF FILMS!! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR THAT?! IF IT WASN'T FOR ASHURA-SAN I WOULDN'T BE ALIVE NOW! EVEN SO, I HAD TO ENDURE YEARS OF TORTURE ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU… YOU RUINED ME! YOU RUINED ME!!" he yelled, tears streaming down his face faster than ever. His whole body shook violently as suppressed sobs wracked through his thin frame. It wasn't long before the man found it harder and harder to breathe.

"Fai…" a timid voice broke through the air and snapped him out of his thoughts. The blonde looked down at Subaru, panting heavily, sweat rolling his forehead, eyes shining with endless rage.

Guilt was the first thing he saw in those eyes. Those eyes he trusted so dearly.

"… You knew?" Fai whispered, hardly daring to believe. "You knew… and never told me a fuck about it?!" The rage inside him quickly escalated, and at that moment, Fai's heart broke and shattered, leaving nothing but a void of emptiness which quickly filled with anger, distrust, insanity and hatred. … Subaru never trusted him, this whole time?

Unconsciously, Fai's wide, empty eyes shifted to Kyle. The man was smiling, his eyes shining with pure happiness at the breaking man.

He was _smiling_ at his grief, his pain.

He was _happy _that that the blonde was breaking.

Hatred finally took over every inch of Fai's being and he lost control.

Eyes reflecting nothing but the insanity taking over, the blonde raised his gun.

Subaru yelled.

Kurogane rushed forward.

And with a loud, piercing scream, Fai pulled the trigger.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Blood was **everywhere**.

The enemy retreated, running off in fear.

Kyle's lifeless body lay slumped on the floor, eyes grey and dead.

Silence hang in the air, the only thing heard was Fai's ragged breathing, his body covered in the dead man's blood.

The blonde stared at the body, and at the blood on his own body. Horrible memories in the past returned to him suddenly and all at once, flashing images of times he was so desperately trying to forget. Fai clenched his eyes shut, trying to block those images out of his mind.

His family's death.

The countless rapes and tortures.

Their gleeful laughter as they laughed at his pain.

The pain, God, the _pain_.

_Kurogane_.

Nothing existed now but hatred.

"Fai…"

The chemistry teacher's eyes shot open at once. Kurogane stood quite a distance away, his face scrunched up slightly in pain, guilt and worry. Tears flitted down Subaru's face as he tried approaching the blonde. With trembling hands, Fai pointed his gun at Subaru, who froze on the spot immediately.

"Leave me alone," said the distressed man, his voice raspy. Several tears rolled down his cheeks as he tried to breathe with the realization that he is now responsible for another man's death. Another wave of hatred accompanied with guilt swept through him. "Leave. Me. Alone," he repeated.

It was his fault, all his fault, that a man is now dead.

He was no better than the others. The others who enjoyed hurting him so much.

Immediately, Fai dashed out of the room and out of the house, shoving Kurogane aside who was blocking the door. Both men chased after him but Fai suddenly turned around, pointing the gun at the both of them, glaring. Subaru cried harder when he realized that he couldn't find any traces of the boy he once knew. All he saw was a stranger, a mad man, craving to do nothing but get revenge. Kurogane still had his scowl on, but agony emanated from his very being in seeing Fai in such a state, and with the horrible possibility that Fai would never turn back to normal again.

"Follow me, and I won't hesitate to shoot," he managed through gasps of breath. Slowly, the blonde backed away, gaze never leaving both men, before dashing away when he reached a corner and into the darkness.

As soon as he was out of sight, Kurogane and Subaru chased after him, but the blonde has disappeared, hiding somewhere from sight. After spending hours trying to find the man, the both of them finally gave up at the crack of dawn. Subaru broke into violent sobs as Kurogane stared into the sky, a line of tears visible in his eyes under the moonlight.

Fai was gone.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

**I feel slightly disturbed.**

**For anyone who doesn't know what a snuff film is:**

**A snuff film shows a person (in this case a child) that's been kidnapped and sold being killed on film. First, they're given a mild sedative to calm them down. Then, male or female, they're sexually assaulted (raped). After that, the torture begins (ex: fingertips are cut off, fingernails are pulled out), and once they've been made to suffer, the victims are killed (beat with chains to death, run over with motorcycles etc.)**

**Yes, I know, it's sick, very, very sick. But please don't hate me for this. If you guys are wondering why Fai's still alive and what the hell's gonna happen, then you'll just have to wait!**

… **Reviews?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Am back with another chapter! This chappie is dedicated to Tsubasa-fan as an apology over… something that happened recently.**

**Note: This whole chapter is about Fai, Ashura, Subaru and Kamui's past in the Mafia. It's to explain how deep their relationship is or people might start asking questions about their actions. But don't worry; it's only for a chapter. The next chapter resumes back to the story.**

**Disclaimer: Blablabla yipyip…**

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"… Are you sure you're okay with this?" Subaru looked at Ashura worriedly, who was looking rather sick and pale.

"To be honest, I'm not very sure," he said, cringing as a loud scream pierced through the air. The boy's cries and pleads from the next room were heard clearly from where they were now.

"Well, if you're going to do something about it, then you better do it quick," replied Kamui monotonously. The three of them could hear laughter and jeers from the room. He stared at Subaru worriedly.

Subaru noticed Kamui staring and gave a weak smile. "Don't worry, I'm used to hearing this sort of stuff."

Ashura stared to the door to the room where the boy was held captive. He was getting more and more disturbed these days by the number of children and teenagers kidnapped and sacrificed for snuff films. The Mafia has been losing a lot of money at the downfall of one of their biggest drug dealers, and was forced to find other ways to earn money to keep the organization from its own downfall.

And so, they landed on the idea of snuff films. Quick and easy, that's what they called.

He was alright with it in the beginning. They needed the money, and he needed his salary, but after some time of hearing blood-curdling screams and staring at the blood and bodies of those children…

Ashura stood up, his face scrunched up both in fear and determination. Slowly, he walked towards the door and twisted the doorknob to the next room. Waves of pain, happiness, anguish and power slammed at his face the moment he entered. The boy's cries increased 10 times louder and the man was tempted to just close his ears and run out the room, never to return.

Fei Wong stood there, a satisfied and sadistic smirk on his face. He smiled when Ashura entered, his buttchin raised in the air.

"What is it? Came to join the fun?"

"Stop hurting him."

Fei blinked for a moment. "What did you say?"

"Stop hurting the boy," he repeated.

Fei's face remained unperturbed before breaking into chuckles. "After such a long time carrying out this plan only did you raise your complaints to me," he smiled at him. Despite his fear, Ashura kept his gaze. The master boss of Mafia Fei may be, but without trying, there was absolutely no chance to save the boy.

Fei Wong met the other's gaze, slightly amused at his weakness. "I'm afraid I can't. The world's plummeting down to a recession. We have to be prepared for harder times, and with the police scurrying around, we have to brace ourselves for the worst. Besides," he chuckled slightly. "We still haven't earned enough money to support ourselves just yet. Or would you rather me leave you without your salaries for the rest of the year?"

By this point, Ashura could see the boy's torturers staring at him, some of them starting to chuckle. No, he did not want to live without his salaries. He still had a life to live, damn it! But the boy…

"Besides, what would you do if this boy remains alive? He'll probably go straight to the police and report to them. I never thought you were that soft, Ashura." Some of his colleagues snickered at the comment.

"Then at least spare his life."

The occupants of the room quickly turned to the door where Kamui was standing, his twin staring worriedly into the silent room behind. For a long while, the only voice heard in the room was the boy's fading sobs.

"Let the boy live. You'll find it useful to at least keep this one alive. One thing is that he'll be a stable source of income. In any desperate situations, we can pull this boy out for a snuff film anytime instead of wasting our time surveying and kidnapping people. What if some of them escaped and ran to the police? All we have to do is keep him here for emergency and convenience."

Fei narrowed his eyes. "Then what about this boy's welfare? Who would take care of him? Who would tend to his injuries? I'm sure that many of us here are rather unwilling to do it."

"Boss, you know the reason my brother and I are in the Mafia now is to pay of the university fees I borrowed years ago to get a doctor degree. I know how to tend to the boy's injuries, illness and even perform surgeries on him; I just need to buy the right tools. As for taking care and guarding him, I'm sure Ashura will take care of that," said Kamui, challenging his boss without fear. Subaru feared for his brother: Would Fei Wong take that as an insult?

Luckily, he didn't His mind was too busy Fei thinking, and seemed to be considering the idea. Tension and anticipation filled the room as the men awaited the final decision. Slowly, Fei drew a breath.

"Fine then. If you want this shit on you, I don't care. But…" His gaze transferred to the now unconscious boy and then to Subaru. "Make sure to keep in mind that if anything happens… all the blame will be on all of you and by then, I won't hesitate to kill any of you."

With that, Fei left the room.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"How long will it be 'till he wakes up?" Subaru turned to his brother. Ashura sat in a corner, fast asleep.

"Not long now," he said, staring at the boy after throwing his bloody bandages into the dustbin. Apparently, this child was a blonde, and was barely 8 years old. "He'll probably be in pain once he wakes up, though. We already spend enough money buying all these medical supplies than morphine. Ashura said he saw him waking up quite a few times for the past two weeks, so he'll probably be up by-" His sentence was cut short by the sound of rustling cloth.

Both eyes turned to the little boy on the bed who was muttering something under his breath. Turning around, the child slowly opened his eyes, his gaze unfocused. He scanned the room, vaguely wondering how and why he was here in the first place. Suddenly, the memory struck him like a hard blow as his sapphire eyes rested on the both of them. He started screaming.

"… Shut the hell up, kid! You're getting us in trouble!" But the blonde child didn't stop screaming. He tried wiggling his way further from the twins, ignoring his condition and pain. "Kid… Shut. The. Hell. Up." Kamui glared murderously at him. Seriously, if the boy doesn't shut mouth soon…

A hand on his shoulder broke him from his sadistic thoughts and he turned around. Subaru was looking at him, almost angrily. "Stop it, you're scaring him." By the time he finished, the boy was starting to cry, his screams interrupted by sobs.

Ashura was rudely woken up by the screaming. He groaned, trying to remember why the place was so loud. He opened his eyes and saw the boy, and instantly, his eyes lit up and widened. He left the comfort of the chair to kneel beside the child's bed. The little boy cowered back to the wall, staring at them in horror.

"Shhh… don't worry. We're friends, we won't hurt you," he whispered gently, touching the boy's cool cheek. He flinched away immediately, but Ashura continued his kind and gentle efforts, effectively calming the child somewhat. He stopped screaming and crying out loudly, but tears were still streaming down his face. Ashura stood up and sat on his bed, pulling him gently into his arms. A fearful sob escaped the boy's lips as Ashura shushed him again, rubbing his back gently, trying not to touch his injuries. Being too weak to support himself, the boy fell limply into the man's hold, sobbing loudly as his body shook violently.

After a few hours in which Kamui and Subaru left to prepare lunch, the little boy finally stopped crying. His eyes were glazed over in exhaustion, but Ashura wanted to ask him something before he fell asleep once again.

"Kid?"

The boy looked up with a questioning gaze.

"What's your name?" he asked.

The boy lowered his head and slumped deeper into the man, closing his eyes while an almost inaudible whisper left his lips.

"Yuui."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Haha! Look at the mighty Ashura, taking care of a stupid little kid!" His colleagues jeered and laughed when he entered the lounge with Yuui clinging onto his leg. His fearful eyes darted around wildly, scanning the new place and flinched when the loud voices boomed on him. Ashura quickly pulled the boy closer to himself. Immediately, Subaru and Kamui stood on either side of Ashura, trying to protect both Yuui and him from harm. Both of their eyes grew piercingly cold, and reached for their gone.

"Don't touch them."

"Who said we were trying?" One of them snorted before lashing his arm out all of a sudden. Subaru reached out to block the hand when all of a sudden, it went below, striking Yuui hard on the face, causing him to fell to the floor, crying out in pain and sobbing. Ashura quickly picked him up and hugged him close, inspecting the bruise slowly forming on the pale face while Subaru pushed the man away, causing him to stumble to the ground. He hissed and stood up, only to cower back in fear when Kamui glared at him angrily.

"What's this whole ruckus about?" a voice suddenly asked from the other side of the room. Kyle walked in and smirked when he saw Yuui, clinging onto Ashura in fear.

"Stupid little thing, isn't he? Don't you think of him as a waste of time? If I were boss, I would have killed him back then. Piece of garbage, if you ask me."

"He's not garbage," answered Subaru firmly. Kyle smirked again and yanked him with his collar until his face merely centimeters away from the man. He could hear Kamui growling threateningly on the other side.

"Just because you're in charge of him doesn't mean you have authority over us. We can do whatever the heck we want to this kid as long as he doesn't die," he whispered tauntingly, face pulled into a wicked smile.

And he left, just like that, laughing all the way.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Subaru walked towards the room Ashura now shared with Yuui. The boy has been here for at least a year now, and was healing a lot quicker than they expected. He still had trouble walking properly, but at least he could move his body about by now without any problems. He remembered that it wasn't long after they met Yuui when Ashura was given the role of Yuui's caretaker, Kamui the doctor and Subaru as the teacher. A sense of responsibility welled inside him, and Subaru was actually happy to be in charge of the boy's education and safety.

The man sighed. Things have not been going well ever since Yuui came. They've been teased and taunted at by their own colleagues, and Kamui was almost hurt the other day for beating someone up for insulting the boy. It was clear that the addition of this new life in their current trafficking team had changed them. All of a sudden, he remembered someone telling him something before, someone he met but couldn't remember who.

"_Lives by blending, interconnecting and mutually influencing one another; Even a merely trivial meeting can bring about changes to both heart and body."_

He twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open. The first thing that greeted his sight was the boy sitting on the floor, drawing something on his piece of paper using the box of crayons Ashura had bought for him earlier ago. Yuui lifted his head and grinned widely upon seeing Subaru. It was the first time Subaru had seen the child's face so bright and cheerful, his race radiating life and light. It warmed his heart immediately, and wished he could actually see it more often. Yuui stood up and stumbled towards Subaru, handing him the picture he just drew.

There were four stick persons in the badly drawn picture. On the left was a man with long hair, beside him a child with blonde hair and blue eyes. Right next to the child stood a man with short, black hair and golden eyes, and on his right was a man who looked exactly like the one on his left except that he was drawn with a frown on his face and with sharp, jagged teeth sprouting from his mouth. The four figures were holding hands, linking them in one big chain. Yuui giggled and pointed at the one next to the scary-looking guy.

"Subaru-san." He then pointed to the scary-looking one, giggling madly. "Kamui-san." His skinny finger then shifted to the far left. "Ashura-san." Then finally, to the blonde kid standing in the middle. "Yuui." The boy then stepped back and made a huge circle with both his arms in the air. "One big, happy family!" he exclaimed, beaming.

Subaru didn't say anything. He just stared at the smiling boy, speechless as he held on the picture. His face contorted in pain and sadness before pulling the boy into his arms.

"Yes, Yuui," he whispered. "One big, happy family."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"So how are you dealing with the kid?" asked Yuuko, stroking the sleeping blonde child on her lap. The group arrived a few moments ago, apparently sneaking here without permission and knowledge of their boss. She had dealings with Ashura before, therefore knew that's how they found her.

Kamui was the first to speak. "He's annoying," he said, and Subaru gave him a nudge at his side. "What?" he snapped. Subaru smiled innocently and met the woman's gaze. "On the contrary, he's actually a very sweet boy. He's been naughty for a number of times, especially to Kamui and has a thing for bullying bad tempered people," Subaru giggled at that. "But he's a good child. Look," he handed out the drawing to Yuuko. "He drew this a few weeks ago about us, even Kamui smiled at this."

"Shut up," his brother snapped again, looking bored and a little embarrassed.

"Hm…" Yuuko inspected the picture. "That's rather adorable," she commented, glancing at the boy before returning the picture. "So Ashura, let us talk about the reason you're here. You're in my house because you have a wish, right?"

All eyes turned to the figure sitting on the couch. Silence filled the room for a while and it was a few minutes before Ashura spoke.

"I want you to take care of Yuui if anything happens to us," he said, looking at the woman in front of him with dread and worry. "We're in a dangerous position and it would only be a matter of time before something happens. If that happens, I want you to get Yuui out of there and raise him."

"That's quite a demand, and a price is required."

"I know."

A pause. "The price is this: If any of you wishes to take Yuui along, either to escape or whatsoever, you have to be separated from him. When that time comes, all ties between the both of you are severed. You will still remember each other but are unable to be together. This will bring pain to you yourself as well as the child," said Yuuko thoughtfully, staring into Ashura's blank eyes. "Do you still wish for it?"

Ashura found himself looking back. He remembered the days they spent together like a family. He remembered the sense of pride when he watched Yuui struggle with the new things exposed to him in life and remembered the pain etched deeply into his soul whenever he got hurt or distressed. He remembered the strange feeling soaring in his chest when he saw all of them together, smiling and laughing and just spending time together, even if it was for a while.

At that moment, he finally realized that he got attached to the boy. Was he willing to sacrifice this deep connection between the both of them to protect him?

A painful smile spread across his face when he finally made his decision.

"Yes."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Kamui held the unconscious boy in his arms, glaring at the 20 men before him.

"What did you do to him?" he hissed, glancing at the crowd.

"Well, nothing new, it was the usual. We beat him up, raped him and laughed," Kamui's eyes seemed to sharpen at this point. "C'mon, don't tell me you're still mad. We've been doing snuff films on him for years now, and boss said that we could use him as much as we please, just get used to it."

"Snuff films are one thing, but all of you know that Yuui hasn't fully recovered from the last film we made. He's still very weak and even has trouble eating," he said.

Kyle stood up from behind. "Does it look like it concerns us?" He motioned to the others. "Let us all get out of here before he kills us," gazing at the murderous eyes under him. One by one, they left, and slowly after that, Ashura entered, a sad expression on his face.

They knew what the other was thinking without saying anything. Yuui has grown up, and each year, he had to at least endure the pain of from the snuff films for once or twice, causing him to suffer from serious physical injuries as well as emotional scars, not to mention the countless of rapes and abuse over the years. And now, they could see that it was starting to affect him, badly. He started becoming quieter and quieter, and spaced out more often. Light has seemed to vanish from his beautiful blue eyes, leaving behind emptiness. They knew it was slowly killing him, and if they don't do something about it, he will eventually become an empty shell of a person, dead either way.

Kamui stared at the naked, bruised body in his arms before meeting Ashura's gaze.

"This can't continue," he whispered, and they know that the time has come.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Where is Ashura-san going?" Yuui, now 13, looked at his guardian. He had his back turned from him, and was acting all… strange for the whole day. Come to think of it, Kamui and Subaru were acting weird too. Now, in the middle of the night, both Kamui and Ashura dragged him out into the cold night air outside.

"We're leaving, but Ashura's going another way."

"… Why?"

"He'll keep the others busy for a while, looking for him. As for you, you're coming with me," he said.

Yuui glanced around. "Where's Subaru-san? What about him?"

Pain flashed across Kamui's face for a moment. "He's not coming with us."

"But why?"

"If he comes with us, he'll be killed if they find us, but if he stays in the Mafia, even though he'll be somewhat badly treated, but at least he won't get hurt or killed since he hasn't done anything wrong or betrayed them. Fei Wong never physically hurts or kills people that could serve for an important purpose in the future."

"Then why can't Ashura-san come with us?"

"I told you: he'll be keeping the others busy for a while. Most of them would think you're with him than me," he replied almost indignantly.

"But what if he gets caught? What if he doesn't come back?"

The place went quiet, the only sound heard was the chilling wind beating against their bodies. Slowly, very slowly, Ashura turned around, a sad smile on his face. He walked towards the boy and cupped his face gently.

"I'm sorry, but I can't stay with you, not now. But we'll meet again one day, just wait and see." Ashura seemed to be speaking more to himself than to Yuui. "But no matter what happens, wherever I may be, I want you to know that I'll always be proud of you. Just you wait; we'll see each other again, soon."

He could have screamed at Ashura to stay. He could have pleaded for them to be together, forever and ever and ever, as one big, happy family. He could have cried and begged Ashura not to leave him, all alone in the pain and darkness he never shared or revealed, to spend his remaining days with one of the only persons who treated him like he was special.

Instead, he said nothing. And the moment Ashura's figure disappeared from sight, Fai's world crumbled completely.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

He needed a new name in his new life now, so he took upon his brother's name as Fai. He did well in class, and went to university, and got a job, but even so, the numb feeling that overpowered him a long time ago never seemed to disappear. It was like hard ice, erasing his ability to feel any emotions, not even pain was spared, but he didn't want anyone to worry. He smiled at them when they worry, trying to convince them that he was fine.

Ashura wrote to them a few times, but mostly it was about important things. Occasionally, he would ask about 'Fai', but besides that, nothing. He was empty. His life was empty. His world was empty.

But the moment he met Kurogane, everything was turned around.

He was able to feel, as if a horrible weight has been lifted from his very being; someone who made him feel happy and free, an escape from his horrible past, but somehow, it was more than that. Every time he saw Kurogane, his heart beats faster. For as long as he remembered, he was finally happy.

… But even though he was happy, he still craves for a family. He still craves the unconditional love and care from a family. But no matter how much he wanted it to happen, no matter how hard he wished for, things just couldn't go back to the way it once was.

And the picture and hope of one big happy family in his mind vanished forever.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

**Don't even start with how lame this chapter or how Ashura-Kamui-Subaru-Fai centric it and angsty this chapter was! I'M TIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!**

**But don't worry! I know some of you are impatient, but next week the story's gonna continue! And yes, they'll be a whole lot more KuroFai-ness in the later chapters! So, erm, just keep on waiting. I'll try updating earlier next time.**

… **Just review.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay, as I promised, the story continues here, so please don't bash me up.**

**Disclaimer: I won't be writing fan fictions if I own Tsubasa.**

* * *

_Fai is gone._

No, that's not true.

_Well, he is, so stop being in denial._

I'll get him back.

_What if he doesn't come back?_

I'll make him.

_Do you really love him? Or was what he said all true? Do you really care about him, or is it just pity driving you to save him?  
_

…

That, was the only question Kurogane couldn't answer. His mind has always had the answer to everything, even if it was a question without an answer. But that question… he wasn't really sure if he loved Fai. He remembered being overcome by a sudden urge to protect him from any form of harm, but love? Did he really…

No, Kurogane shook his head. This isn't the time to dwell in his own thoughts and feelings. Fai could be in danger now. With him in a very, very unstable state of mind, who knows what he'll do? He might end up killing someone else, or might be captured by the Mafia right now, or worse, killed or tortured. Fai was the important one here, not his stupid feelings and concerns about himself.

After burying Kyle's body in the backyard a few days ago and convincing the neighbors that they were fine (pesky neighbors, really, they should mind their own business), he and Subaru had been searching the whole neighborhood and beyond for him, but so far, Fai was nowhere to be seen. Fai was probably out of the neighborhood, or possibly even out of the state.

"Kurogane?"

Said man turned towards the other slumped on the couch, currently shielding his eyes from view. For the past few days, Subaru hadn't been able to eat or sleep properly, let alone speak. This was the first time he had been addressed to for quite some time.

"What?" he asked.

"… Why?"

Kurogane raised his eyebrows. Subaru sat up from the couch, eyeing the gym teacher carefully. His eyes were void of any other emotions other than emptiness and guilt. He said nothing, a silent message for Subaru to continue.

"Why… did you help Fei Wong kidnap children? You weren't in the Mafia in the first place, so why…" Subaru didn't understand. Kurogane came on his own will one day when he was just a teenager, helping them kidnap children for the snuff films for quite an amount of money, but with the convenience of not losing any of his people and planning, Fei Wong allowed him to. The man narrowed his eyes.

"Was it greed?" he hissed. "Or was it to prove that you're worthy enough for everything?" When the gym teacher remained silent, he spoke again, albeit in a slightly rougher tone. "Well?" he demanded.

Kurogane closed his eyes and sighed. This was not a topic he wish to relive or tell, and it was painful enough just thinking about it.

"Tomoyo," he said after a few minutes, snapping Subaru out of his daze.

"… What?"

It was a moment before Kurogane started speaking again. "She was my sister. An annoying bastard and a pain in the ass, but she was the only one I..." He stopped himself after realizing he was about to say _love_ or _care_ about. "… would protect with my life," he said instead. "When I was 14, she got brain cancer. We didn't find it in the early stage and the only way to save her life is through surgery, but we didn't have enough money and the medical costs in Japan were far too expensive." He paused to see Subaru's expression.

"I don't know how it happened, but my parents decided to take her to Italy for the surgery to reduce costs, but the money they earned and borrowed still wasn't enough for her surgery in time to safe her life."

"Then, Fei Wong came to me. Told me he would give me a vast amount of money if I kidnapped children for him. So, I did it." The red-eyed man shrugged, trying to cover up the strange mix of roiling emotions in his heart. "In the end, I got the money, and by the time that was all that matters. I didn't know I would be… hurting someone so badly." he said.

"… So what happened to her?" asked Subaru.

"Died. The surgery was a failure. Those kids I kidnapped died and suffered for nothing." He paused. "Fai suffered for nothing."

The room went completely silent. Both men stared down, Subaru being slightly guilty at making the gym teacher remembering something painful. Kurogane wallowed in guilt as he thought about those clear, blue eyes that he sworn to protect with his life, as he had previously sworn to protect Tomoyo. After she died, he didn't have a sense of purpose in life… until now. He failed his task again. He failed to protect Fai.

Failure… but it doesn't mean he couldn't stand up and make things right.

There was someone he had to protect, someone worth risking his life fighting for, someone precious to him.

And he was **not** going lose that precious person. Not again. Not this time.

"We have to find him," he said suddenly, meeting Subaru's gaze with renewed strength and determination. "We have to find him before its too late."

The hopelessness in Subaru's voice was slightly disturbing. "Where?" he asked desperately. "We've been searching for him for days now, even in the most isolated alleys. Where could he possibly be?"

Kurogane barely listened to him as he drowned in his own business-like thoughts again in a long time. If he were a now slightly psychotic blonde with a most precious person at stake, what would he do?

"… Does he know where Ashura is now? If I were him and knew where that guy is, I'll probably be trying to save the only person I think is precious to me in the whole world now."

That seemed to light something up in Subaru. The man quickly stood up and rummaged through his thoughts for a while, his eyes looking but not seeing. He must have found something for then he turned to Kurogane with hope in his eyes.

"Fai's heading for Florence," he said.

"How do you know that?"

"The other day…" His memory wandered back to the day when Fai had gone crazy. "Before Kyle and his men came, Fai solved the riddle I stole from the boss." He lifted his head to meet the other's gaze. "He's heading to Florence, and even if he's already captured by the Fei, he'll definitely be there all the same. All we have to do is to find their hideout and we'll find him there."

Kurogane didn't say anything. After a moment of silence, he stormed into the room and started throwing his stuff into the luggage. They had to hurry, there was no time to be wondering and standing around doing nothing. Who knows what might be happening to Fai at the moment. Whatever it was, they didn't have any time to waste. Fai's life was in danger.

"Kurogane?"

"… What?" he answered gruffly, not bothering to look at the man as he continued packing.

"Do you really love Fai?"

The gym teacher froze. That was the question that has been haunting him for a long time, the question without an answer. Did he love Fai? Did he really love him from the very bottom of his heart, or was it just the sense of responsibility, guilt and pity? … Did he really him?

Love has many definitions. It's a number of emotions and experiences clamped into something related to strong affection. To care about, to cherish their presence, to find happiness through them, want them, to feel sadness of their absence, willing to risk or give away everything just to be with them, following them to the end of the world. To _love _them, forever.

Did he love Fai?

… Did he? _Did he_?

……

The answer came in a whisper as realization dawned upon him, a new kind of strength and confidence forming itself deep in his heart.

"… Yes. Yes, I do."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Sobs wracked through his body as he ran. He remembered running, running, never stopping. If he stopped, he would have to face the horrible truth, the cruel reality. No, he didn't want to face reality; he didn't want to live in a world without Kurogane's love. He just ran for days, the gun he stolen from Kyle abandoned somewhere. He didn't want anyone to die from his hands. Please, not again, never again. Panting, Fai kept running despite the pain and loneliness he felt.

He collapsed on a small, empty street, tears streaming down his face, sobs interrupting his coughing and chokes as he breathed raggedly. His body was covered in dirt, clothes dirty and ragged, but he didn't care. His stomach growled and throat parched, but nothing, not even the condition he was in, could rid of his misery and sorrow. He stood up, and only managed a few steps before stumbling, face first on solid ground.

Clenching his fists, Fai let out a heart-wrenching cry and sobbed again. The grief of whatever happened the past few days was far too overwhelming for him to handle. He broke down and started crying again, loud sobs filling the empty street.

"K- Kuro-chi…" he croaked, reaching out for nothing. The image of Kurogane's gruff yet kind face appeared in front of him, and Fai broke into more violent sobs, reliving the events that had taken place a few days ago.

Love. He lost the only thing that mattered to him in the only world, the one that he had been seeking for ages – love. He lost love, the only thing protecting him from the loneliness so hard to bear.

Love had been taken away from him once when he parted with Ashura. The pain never left him as he remembered the world shattering and emptiness filled his world with a constant clench and tug of his heart. But he never cried, he never looked back; if he did he would have shattered completely.

He remembered classmates laughing and bullying him for never experiencing true love. They jeered and called him pathetic, an unwanted boy. Unconditional love that was given to them so easily and for free was something they never cherished while he would give up everything just to be able to experience it. Just to see Ashura again.

He remembered Ashura telling him that if he wished hard enough, all his wishes would come true. Fai wished and wished, wished for love and care, but it never came true. Is it because he never wished hard enough? Or was it the payment of his previous life's sins?

Was he truly an unwanted child?

The blonde heard laughter ringing on the other side of the street, and clenched his eyes shut. He didn't want to wake up. If he could, he wanted to fall into the darkness, to die, to dream of love, everything he never had in this stupid world, never to wake up again. He just wanted to die.

To die, he had nothing to live for either.

Fai could no longer bear the loneliness anymore. Kurogane's face flashed through his mind again and he let out another sob as his heart pulled, the loneliness in his heart multiplying.

Suddenly, Fai felt pain on his side as someone kicked him and cried out in pain. He could feel a hand grabbing a fist of his dirty locks, pulling his head backwards as another man kicked him on the side again, forcing him to roll over. The sight of strangers greeted him, many chuckling and smirking, but Fai couldn't see properly through his tears of who they are. One of them ran a cold finger down the blonde's wet face.

"Call the boss. Tell him we found him," the man in front of him ordered, a satisfied smile plastered on his face.

Fai didn't know whether it was by desperation, or desolation, or the pure wish that he didn't want to live any longer, he opened his mouth slightly.

"Kill me," he whispered.

The man in front of him chuckled.

"Not so soon, my dear." Then he lowered himself until his face was merely inches from Fai's face. "First, we'll have to make sure you suffer," he said with a chuckle. Fai closed his now red and swollen eyes, tears flowing down his cheeks faster when he felt hands unbuckling his pants. All of a sudden, something hard smashed on the side of Fai's head before he fell onto the cold, hard pavement, finally losing consciousness. Despite the pain and knowledge of what was going to happen, Fai managed a small smile of gratitude for sparing him his emotional pain for at least a moment.

_Save me._

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**Yes, damn short, not as good as the last two chapters, but this is what I managed to cram into this chapter without making the story too fast. Hahah! What will happen next?**

**REVIEWS!**


	14. Chapter 14

… **Surprisingly, I have nothing to say.**

**Disclaimer: I said that for the past 13 chapters.**

* * *

Fai saw a surge of light. What could it be?

Was he dead? Was heaven just above him?

… Probably not. He was most likely to end up in hell anyway. So… what is it?

He could hear voices. They sounded familiar, but what they were speaking sounded more like gibberish to Fai, and the subconscious part of his mind was dominating a huge part of his brain, and the blonde found that he could not think so clearly just yet. He tried reaching out for the strange light, but his hands were too heavy to move.

The voices got Louder. Vaguely, he could decipher what they were saying. Fai's head started to pound caused by the voices and wished he could just yell at them to shut up.

"How is he-?"

"Not yet-"

"But-"

In an attempt to shut them up, Fai opened his mouth to yell, but only managed a groan before pain was searing through him. Why can't the Gods just let him rest in peace and spare him the pain? His throat was parched and everything was so blur, and Fai hated it. It made him dizzy, and Fai doesn't like to be dizzy.

The persons who spoke before fell quiet immediately. Distinctively, the blonde could hear footsteps approaching, and panicked slightly whether he had gotten himself in trouble. But before he could hear them speak, darkness wrapped around his soul and pulled him into unconscious oblivion.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Is he awake?"

"I- I'm not sure, Ashura-san."

Almost unconsciously, Fai peeled his eyes open and instantly, a sharp light pierced through his sight again and the blonde hissed softly. He felt a cold hand on his cheeks and shy away from it, but the soft voices he heard before sifted through the air gently, soothing him. Fai relaxed, and tried adjusting his eyes instead after knowing he was not in some form of danger.

Familiar eyes.

Hushed whispers.

Could it be…?

"Ashura-san?" he croaked.

The figure that knelt beside his bed tensed slightly for a moment, before leaning closer to Fai. Hesitantly, the man reached out and stroked Fai's blonde locks in an almost loving way.

"A-Ashura-san-" Fai tried to get up, only to have white, hot pain searing through his stomach and to the rest of his body. A loud cry of pain escaped his lips as he collapsed onto the bed, panting, eyes glazed over in exhaustion. Ashura quickly pressed the blonde down to stop him from getting up.

"Don't move. You're still hurt," he whispered. Fai could only nod in defeat as he closed his eyes. He felt sick, oh so sick. Sweat drenched his body and rolled down his forehead. The world was spinning around him and Fai realized he couldn't focus on anything, not even the man before him. He felt Ashura's cool hand on his forehead and could actually feel the worry radiating from his very being. After a moment, lips met his forehead in a gentle kiss.

"Sleep." Ashura ordered gently. Too tired to argue, Fai obeyed and slowly drifted away.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

They finally reached Florence.

With Fai was no where to be seen, Kurogane and Subaru were now stranded in the middle of nowhere. Well, they were in Florence, that part he was for sure of it. But they were stranded _without a map_, with no idea where to go.

And without extra fuel and no station in sight.

Kurogane leaned on the car, heaving a sigh, waiting for Subaru patiently, who had went to get help. Was this all really necessary? Before this, even though the man was subjected to what he considered mental abuse from the so-called witch, he was free to do whatever he wished to. He was a free man, having all the time in the world with nothing to do, and plenty of time doing it. Before this, Kurogane led a peaceful life, a life without worries, without anybody chasing him and tracking him down.

Then the idiot blonde entered his life, and Kurogane found life turned upside down.

Overnight, he became Fai's guardian and protector, taking care of him, travelling across the world on a mission which even he wasn't sure what the hell was going on just to protect the idiot, made a man go crazy, saw another shot dead, and travelled to probably the end of the world just to look for Fai.

… Was it all even worth it?

_You know… _a voice whispered in his ears. _You can just turn back. Forget about him. He was the one who caused you all this trouble. You had a carefree life, and you can still get it back. It's not too late to turn back. Just forget about him. Let him suffer. He deserved it._

Kurogane growled.

_Like hell I'd turn back._

Still… he wasn't too sure. Everything was happening too fast, and he's been forced to make decisions too fast to his liking. He hoped that one day when he looked back he wouldn't have to regret any of the decisions he made, but considering the amount of time he had to make these important decisions… there has to be one he'll come to regret one day.

… He was scared.

Scared? _The_ Kurogane, the fearless, strong and bad tempered gym teacher, _scared_? The gruff man scoffed at himself.

Yes, he was scared, something he haven't felt since a long, long time. The fear was so significant that Kurogane found that he couldn't just ignore it, and admitted it.

He knew it wouldn't be long until he ran out of excuses, or reasons to save Fai. Everything now, even if he said he loved Fai and felt sure about it, there was a little part of him that felt insecure and feared that one day, his resolve and decision and feelings might come to nothing. Fai might just be a phase, like the one he saw some pansy boys falling in love in high school. No, he didn't want Fai to be a phase.

… But the scary thing is, he wasn't sure whether he was.

Kurogane turned to look at the sky. It was empty, definitely going to be a hot day.

Everything the gruff man has been experiencing and felt for the past few months was just like a dream. The unpredictability of his feelings and decisions and what might happen in the future was far from clear. He'd seen those too many times to be sure. One minute, lovers; the other, **not** lovers.

What if this was one of those phases where he has to go through in order to find his _Ew, I can't believe I'm thinking something like this_ _ahem cough _true love? Was he going to admit this was just a phase in the future and just brush it off, like he always did to all the other things? This could probably end up as a revelation he would be forced grasp in the future, and that Fai was just a phase and nothing important to him.

Sure, he could say he loved Fai now. But would he love him in the future as he did now? Things change, and Kurogane knew that. Their relationship might be something that would change in the future. Feelings are like the weather. It was unpredictable and changes from time to time and it was the only thing one can never force oneself to feel. People can force themselves to do something, to make decisions, but no one can force another to feel happy when they're not, or excited when they're bored. Emotions are always honest; you can do whatever you can to deny it, but there will always come a day when you have to admit that what you feel is real.

And this thought of what might happen to him to Fai scared him. The blonde has been through enough to deserve any more pain. He really didn't want to add any to that. Even though Fai might just be another phase in the future, he was sure that the blonde wouldn't think of it the same way. Kurogane shook his head to clear his mind.

He loved Fai.

… But would that love last?

Kurogane bit his lip in slight panic and fear and anger, clenching his fists. No, he would not think of that, not now. He couldn't let his thoughts and _urgh _insecurities affect the rescue. He would not think of any of the sort.

The gruff man crossed his arms defiantly and let out a shallow breath caught in his throat.

He loved Fai, he thought stubbornly.

… Though he wasn't sure exactly how long it'll last, if not forever.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Lying on the bed, Subaru heaved a sigh. They've been stranded on the road for hours and Subaru went to search for help. Thankfully, he met a kind, young woman who offered them help when she found him walking all along in the middle of nowhere. She actually drove all the way to this cheap hotel and even offered to pay the money if they didn't have any. Subaru was a little suspicious in the beginning, but after realizing that she was of no harm to them, he relaxed.

The whole room was quiet, saved by Kurogane's occasional snores. The man closed his eyes, thinking it would probably be a good idea to rest for the moment. They would really need it to search for Fai the next day. He lay there, listening to the deafening sound of the silence as minutes passed.

_Bump._

Subaru's eyes shot open and he jumped. Scanning his surroundings, the man couldn't see anything in the shadows. Sucking his breath, Subaru drew the two nearest objects to him (which is a bar of chocolate and a lamp) and made a stance, ready to throw and use the objects on the unseen enemy. Kurogane jolted from his bed on the other side of the room, swiftly grabbing his sword when he noticed that something was wrong.

It appeared, however, that the enemy wasn't really an enemy. Slowly, a figure rose from the shadows. It was a young girl, a teenager, in fact. Her whole body was covered in dirt and ragged clothes hung from her very being, and her breathing was labored. The girl's seemingly brown locks were also covered in dirt and her cheeks sullen, and her whole form was shaking so badly that Subaru thought she might be an oversized bunny in the first place.

The girl looked up at him with fearful green eyes, and whispered in a raspy voice.

"Wh… Where's Syaoran-kun?"

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**Syaoran and Sakura fans, they made their entrance! And yes, I know. This chapter is short, but please don't complain. I have nothing to say otherwise except for the usual…**

… **You guessed it.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Augh… I'm back with another chapter~! Not much to gloat about, to be honest, but at least there's some opening in the chapter (even though it's a VERY lame one).**

**Disclaimer: The title says it all.**

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

_Wh- where am I?_

_The sky was red. The ocean was red. The ground was red._

_Red, the color of blood. The smell of death crept among the mist, the echoes of screams filled his head. Fai just wanted to puke and run, away from these horrifying truths. No, not again, never again. He just couldn't handle this anymore. The sexual and physical abuse he had endured during his childhood, both from his father and the Mafia, was finally taking its toll. _

_Please, if there was someone out there, please… help me… __**kill **__me…_

"_Fai…"_

_The blonde turned around upon hearing his name, and froze. _

_Kurogane lay on the ground, crawling towards him. It took Fai a while to realize that the lower-half part of the man's body was severed from him. He let his shaking hands clap around his mouth as he stared in horror into those now hollow eyes. Someone… someone had pulled Kurogane's eyes from his sockets. Empty._

_The flame had diminished. Fai had never seen the normally silent and strong man so helpless before. His mouth opened in a silent scream._

"_K-Kuro…" he croaked, tears filling his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. Suddenly, as if a fire lit inside of him, the blonde rushed towards the other and pulled him into a strong, tight embrace. He squeezed his eyes shut, praying, praying that is was all an illusion, a dream._

_He felt a cold hand on his damp cheek, stroking him gently. Fai refused to open his eyes, refused to meet those used-to-be-crimson eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks faster than he had ever remembered. He could feel Kurogane's shallow breaths and chokes against his skin._

_With each and every second, as the man slipped slowly into death, Fai held him tighter. Every time he felt those breaths getting more and more insignificant, the tighter he held Kurogane. 'Please don't go…' He couldn't afford losing him, no, not another person who meant the world to him… Someone who could save him…_

'_Just do something, Kurogane. Hug me, kiss me, torture me, just don't leave…'_

_Those words went unheeded. Slowly, those breaths became nothing, and the figure he held slumped into him, and Fai broke down, clutching the tight body close._

_There were voices now. Fai turned around and saw shadows emerging from the darkness away. _

_Fei Wong._

_Kyle._

_Wicked faces he didn't remember remembering but had somehow remembered and with the reason how he doesn't remember._

_In a blink of an eye, Fai felt those men pushing him onto the ground as his back met the hard ground, his clothes now soaking in blood that wasn't his. Bodies pressing on him, hands touching every inch of his skin, hands grabbing his pants pulling it down, ripping away his undergarments, something shoving itself into him, and pain that would never stop._

_Fai screamed as thrust after thrust drew waves of unbearable pain into him. He couldn't see, couldn't hear, drowning in the pain and the laughter and his own blood and screams…_

"Wake him up! Try waking him up, Syaoran!"

"A-Ashura-san, it's not working!" The teenager managed before the man let out yet another scream. The boy flinched backwards, terrified at the sudden reaction of the blonde man. Fai… his name, was it?

In an instant, Ashura rushed past Syaoran and stretched his hand out, gently stroking Fai's soft, blonde hair, muttering comforts in a soothing voice Syaoran had never heard from him all this while being locked up with him. When Fai showed no action of calming down from his nightmare, Ashura began shaking him, gently at first, but the action soon got rougher and rougher. Finally, when Fai didn't seemed to be showing signs of waking up, he decided it was time to get desperate.

"YUUI! WAKE UP!" he yelled, and as soon as it began, Fai's eyes snapped open, his breathing quick and shallow and uneven, his heart thumping painfully inside him. For a long moment, the blonde darted his eyes around wildly, as if not knowing where he was. Sweat rolled down his forehead, and Ashura's kind face entered his vision.

"It's alright," he whispered. "No one's going to hurt you here." The scene seemed familiar, he thought bemusedly. He knew all too well about Fai's nightmares: it was terrifying to the point that sometimes they had to pour a bucket of ice and hit him hard on the head at the same time for him to wake up. He had hoped such nightmares had ceased to be the moment he was free from the organization's hold.

Apparently not. He inwardly curses at what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder does to people.

Fai's eyes lingered from panic to confusion, as he continued staring at Ashura blankly. Slowly, as the words sank in, his face contorted in what seemed to be a mixture of distress, anguish and despair.

"Ashura…" he whispered, voice breaking as tears slowly filled those large, blue eyes.

"Shh…" Hushing, Ashura pulled the shivering blonde into his arms gently, making sure to ease his grip a little to quell his fears and haunting memories. Fai squeezed his eyes shut, tears threatening to pour despite his eyes being clenched shut. He let out a choked sob, pressing himself further into the embrace, longing for the love and care and warmth and comfort of Ashura to chase away those horrible memories that plagued him day and night, leaving him empty and vulnerable. Ashura hushed him yet again and lifted his hand to pat the top of Fai's head.

"It's okay. I'm here. Just go back to sleep. I'll be here, promise," reassured Ashura. Fai lifted his head and glanced around weakly.

"Where…"

"You're in the Mafia headquarter and hideout in Florence. They're keeping us captivity. Apparently, the team that sent you here have had their fun…" he said, frowning darkly. Fai continued gazing at Ashura dumbly, utterly confused.

"What… what about Kuro-chi? A-and Subaru-san? What happened to them? And- and what do you mean by 'have had their fun'?" he asked, unable to summon his usually alert mind back into his head. His thoughts seemed to move sluggishly and he couldn't remember anything. Ashura sighed and gazed sternly at the blonde.

"Sleep. You'll need it."

Unable to resist the urge any longer, Fai fell into a dreamless sleep.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"So, what are we supposed to do about the girl then?" Kurogane snarled, crossing his hands together.

"We can't just leave her here!" protested Subaru, his hand never leaving the sleeping girl, gently pressing her down as she slept in bliss.

"What if she's one of the enemies, or maybe a spy? How many beggar-like teenage girls go around being stuck in a hotel room without any of the staff knowing that she's here?" Kurogane roared in retaliation.

"Point is," Subaru continued in a calmer tone. "We can't let her wander around on her own, which she'll probably do if we don't lock her in. And if we locked her in, she'll probably think we've got her as hostage and with a phone or not, tell the police on us. We'll probably have to… drag her along somehow."

Kurogane looked as if he was about to burst. It was hard enough as it is searching for Fai. Now they were supposed to drag a stupid girl like that into it? That was probably beyond what the gruff man **didn't** want. If they were found and captured, it would bring danger to this girl not only during captivity but also in the future. And yet, she might even **drag** them down the drain into trouble. No, Kurogane did not like this. He did not like it at all.

"Can't we just dump her somewhere on the streets?" he muttered.

"Kurogane!" Subaru looked at him as though it was the craziest or most evil thing to do in the world. "What if the reason's she's like that is because someone was chasing her? If we dump her into the streets then she might be in danger again! Who knows, she might be another victim of the Mafia! And the name she said… Syaoran, was it? He might also be in the Mafia, maybe in captive! And this girl might actually know where their hideout is!"

Subaru's words seemed to sink in the gym teacher. He blinked stupidly, staring at the other for a long moment. "… Hn," he said finally, turning away in defeat.

"Anyway," this time, Subaru's voice came in a soft whisper. "When we were in that ride yesterday, I saw a few groups of men lurking in between the streets. Apparently, they have the whole state under surveillance, or at least a large part of it. Luckily, this hotel we're staying is under the hands of one of Yuuko's friend, and that friend - Watanuki, was it? - made sure there were no strange people lurking around this area. But if we are to leave this place, we have to at least disguise ourselves." He then reached towards his small luggage and began drawing out a few items and clothing.

"I've brought a whole set of make-up kit and a whole lot of clothes with me when I came here." He sent a warning glare towards Kurogane who was starting to gape at him and the beauty products and how un-manly it seemed. "Trust me, it's useful. Disguising yourself is far better than getting into a fight, no matter how much you like them." Kurogane gave him a dirty look at this. Did he not understand the art of violence? The beauty of it?

"And…" Subaru continued, ignoring the other's face. "With this girl with us, after we make sure she's not some sort of spy or anything, she'll be able to fit in perfectly to keep ourselves clear of suspicion. We weren't travelling with a girl before, and people have a tendency to think of us more of a family than a real threat. Kids have a really good effect on lowering people's barriers." He picked out a bra from his luggage, and almost unconsciously, dismissed it and threw it into a corner on the floor.

Something hit Kurogane really hard. "Wh-what?!" he spluttered. "Wait a sec, what the hell doing you think your-" No, no, Subaru can't be saying that. No… anything but-

"Yes, I think I'll dress up as a woman. Kamui always said it looked good on me, and it acts as one hell of a disguise either…" he continued, this time, **completely** ignoring the gruff man sitting opposite of him, who looked like Christmas had been cancelled. The revelation just confirmed Kurogane's worst fears. Thank God he wasn't doing it with Fai… "But you… you're eyes will probably give you away, I mean, how many people walk around with red eyes?" Now, it seemed that Subaru was speaking to himself rather than Kurogane. "You'll definitely need to wear contact lens, and maybe dye your skin a little or something: you stick out very much as a foreigner. Too bad you're too tall to dress up as a woman though…"

"WHAT?!" Kurogane roared. "You… Am I working for a pervert?!"

"Unfortunately no. You're height and body weight will give you away as a man. Pity, maybe Fai will cheer up seeing you like that. We'll have to do something about your hair too, by the way. You can be my husband or something, or this girl's uncle. Yeah, that'll do well. Italians aren't usually seen married to Japanese. Yeah, you'll be her uncle. I'll be the girl's mother. Yeah, that's it…" He continued muttering to himself almost unconsciously, throwing Kurogane some clothes and dumping everything from his luggage out to the floor.

Kurogane lifted his head and sighed. This was one **hell** of a job…

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

**I'm surprisingly rather content with this chapter. Anyway, sorry for the... er... boring-ness of the previous chapter, so this time I rounded up something a little more interesting here. Now: I need your opinions. I can't let Kurogane act out as a woman (he's too MANLY for that), but I hope some of you can come up with ideas of dressing Kurogane up ridiculously, or maybe a job that forces people to wear ridiculous outfits. The funnier the better! Too bad I can't make Fai dress as a woman though… (I'll have to find a way to make him dress like that…)**

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	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 is up! I still have around a month before school starts… (Oh man this sucks. I don't wanna be a senior… Most of them suck…) And thank you SilverKleptoFox, for the idea! And of course, for everyone else who reviewed!**

**Disclaimer: As a disclaimer, I hereby disclaim any claims that I own this beloved manga. Disclaimed.**

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"Sakura-kun, can you tell me where exactly did you last see Syaoran-kun?"

"It's… it's not far from here. Just around Ponte Vecchio," Sakura stated, pointing at the area ahead of them.

"Are you sure that Syaoran kid has seen a weird guy with glasses and butt chin and strange black and white hair that stands from his head?" muttered Kurogane, glaring at the crowd.

"Yes, I'm sure of it. I'm mean, he's tall, big, has a cunning look in his eyes, wear glasses, has big hair, wears a robe and has a very significant looking butt chin," she replied, staring at the men innocently with her chipmunk look. "At least, that's what I remembered. Am I right?"

Kurogane and Subaru stared at each other and nodded. Yup, that was definitely Fei Wong Reed. The gym teacher remembered his face clearly, the night in which he offered the job, the way his greedy eyes glistened under the moonlight and that very, very… strange butt chin.

Together on the street, Kurogane, Sakura and Subaru were getting many unwanted glances and dirty, confused looks from pedestrians, and the red-eyed man was very sure they are now officially the weirdest cross-dressers in the whole world. Subaru, dressed as a woman, had his chest padded out with pads and wore a black wig with a ponytail tied on the end. His face was covered in makeup and whatever extras he did secretly in the bathroom, Kurogane was sure he didn't want to know; just looking at Subaru with a pink frilly dress with flowers decorated on it made him sick.

Sakura was dressed as a boy with her breast, on the other hand, covered in weird stripes of cloth to flatten it. She wore plain T-shirt and jeans, with her body stuffed so to decrease the ratio between her chest and hips. Her hair was tied and stuffed into a baseball cap. If that wasn't bad enough, the cross-dressing was making her fidgety and uncomfortable, and from the moment they stepped out into the street, Sakura had been blushing like mad the whole way through.

Kurogane growled as he adjusted his pants lower, wanting it to at least cover up his legs. After much discussion (actually, it was a one-way discussion, Subaru wasn't listening to him the whole way through), Subaru decided the best role for him was as a sailor. He was forced to wear some weird navy shirt (that wasn't actually a navy shirt but looked like it) and a pair of white shorts, showing off his (DENIALDENIALDENIAL) hairy legs. If that wasn't embarrassing enough, Subaru forced a navy hat on top of him, making him a laughing stock in the street and he was sure there were at least 20 people who stared and snickered at his outfit. Kurogane growled, and swore to himself to at least decapitate Subaru later on for injuring his already damaged pride. Oh, he could falling down the drain right now, the poor, poor thing. There had been countless glances and thousands of weird looks and snickers towards their direction in their 15 minute walk from the hotel. He caught a man snickering and threw a glare at him. He caught the message and quickly scurried off.

Kurogane sighed. This was going to be one hell of a day. He couldn't stop his mind wandering to Fai and his smiles: warm smiles, fake smiles, evil grins, his beautiful blonde hair and those deep pools of sapphire, and that mysterious aura emanating from him whenever Kurogane got close. The beautiful and perfect image of Fai popped into his mind, and the memories of the day he broke down burned in him, intensifying the guilt that followed after.

The gym teacher could feel something burning prickling his eyes, and quickly blinked it away.

He missed Fai.

He missed those beautiful, honest, fake, strained smiles. Those teasing glints in his cheeky eyes and gently touches on his skin and caring and worried eyes staring at him, concerned of him, someone who would give a _damn_ on how he felt, worry if he wasn't home on time, stuffing down those HORRIBLE and sweetly disgusting foods down his throat when he was hungry.

He really, _really_ missed Fai.

Was he alright? Was he safe? Would he be thinking of him now? Was he hurt? Was he crying? … Kurogane didn't want to see Fai cry. He didn't want him hurt; he wanted him to smile for real, to be happy. He wanted to make Fai happy.

Kurogane closed his eyes. He wasn't one to believe in Gods, but if there really is one out there, he prayed to him or her to keep Fai safe for the time being.

"Here," a fake deep tone sounded through the busting crowd.

Sakura has stopped suddenly, causing them to bump into her. The bridge lay just ahead of them, covered with visitors and natives exploring the country itself. Subaru poked his head out of the crowd, scanning at the part below the bridge hidden in darkness. However, Sakura was pointing at the houses on the other side.

"There," she turned to Kurogane. "I saw him somewhere there, with Syaoran-kun. He spoke to him for a while, but I couldn't hear a thing because he told me to step away."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!" huffed Sakura indignantly as her cheeks went pink as she glared at Kurogane. He couldn't deny it; she does look cute with that face.

"… Ah." Something came to Subaru almost instantly.

"What?" Kurogane asked, slightly irritated.

"That's what they usually do; now I remember." He turned to the both of them. "They probably build some underground passage connected to the main Mafia headquarters. In fact, it's one of their most favorite tactics. The house owned would probably be a Mafia member's of a friend of someone from the mafia. There'll probably be a trapdoor in house and a passage leading to… somewhere." He turned to Sakura with a smile on his face. "Can you take me to the place you saw Mr ButtChin?" That drew a giggle from the girl.

"Here." She started sprinting through the crowd. "Follow me!"

Kurogane sighed. If it was going to be a long day, then let it be. He knew the Gods were always out to get him, anyway.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Here, huh?"

"Yes, Subaru-san. I'm quite sure of it." She stared at the two men.

"The location must be in the houses in this area. Fei doesn't like travelling too much, that's why he's so fat." Subaru continued after muttering something like 'bad for health' and 'heart attack'. "C'mon, we better search the area. All we have to do give a code and password then we'll get through. I hope they haven't changed the password though…" He signaled for them to go, but Sakura remained glue to her spot.

"Sakura-kun?"

"I… I was just wondering…" She glanced up at Subaru, eyes narrowing. "I know you said you were looking for someone who was kidnapped and captured by the man you mentioned, that's why you're also helping me find Syaoran-kun, but if I may ask, how do you know so much about that man? Who exactly are you? I told you the reason I ran was because those people were after me, that's why Syaoran-kun told me to hide, but what if you're those people trying to lure me out? Are you really telling the truth?" Kurogane had to admire her. She may look slightly thin and gaunt and appeared to be weak, but she's sharp.

Subaru sighed and knelt down, drawing a few dirty glances. "We were… involved with those people a long time ago, in fact, we helped them do some of their work. I know it was wrong, but by the time, under certain… conditions, we had to, but we escaped. We're not with them anymore, and right now, one of Kurogane-san's friends is captured by them, and that's why we're here and looking for them. If we were those people, do you think I would have asked you the directions? I could have just kidnapped you and called my boss when we were still in the hotel, or when you passed out." He took Sakura's hand. "That counter guy in the hotel, he let you in without hesitation, didn't he? I bet he was the one who rushed you in a room and locked you in there, and fed you and took care of you." Sakura's eyes brightened, and hesitantly, she nodded. She never thought of why the counter guy was so willing to help her in the first place. "Syaoran-kun gave me that address before…"

"Yes," Subaru continued. "A very good friend we knew also helped me escape from those bad people and it is the only reason why I'm here. Without her help, we wouldn't be here right now. We would have been captured a long time ago. I'm sure that Syaoran-kun of yours had help from her too. That hotel is run by a friend of hers, and perhaps they put us in the same room as coincidence, because the three of us has a similar goal." He drew a breath. "Now do you trust us?"

Sakura stared at Subaru, and then glanced up at Kurogane. The gruff man did his best to show that he was sincere. Slowly, her head turned back to Subaru, and after a long moment, she nodded. A fire ignited in her eyes and she looked at Subaru with a determined look.

"I want to find Syaoran-kun. And I will find him and get him back." Then she bowed. "Thank you for helping me. I hope you guys find the one you're looking for too."

Kurogane couldn't hold back the waves of emotions that washed over him at the girl's words. That kind of determination was something he had never seen except in his parents a long time ago. That determination to set things right, and the hope that it could be done.

"Yeah…" he grunted. "I hope so too."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

20 houses. 20 houses had they searched and still nothing. Kurogane unleashed a string of foul curses that earned a disapproving look from Subaru.

"Patience," he tutted and knocked the door in front of him. A kind, old man answered the door. He smiled at their appearances, though Kurogane saw a hint of amuse in his eyes at the strangers before his door.

"Good morning, what can I help you... kind people today?" There was a snicker. Kurogane glared.

"Loompie woompie." Subaru answered. Yes, that was what he had been muttering for the last few houses. Many of them stared at them either in confusion or disgust or with a kind of fear thinking they were insane. Some just slammed the door right in front of their noses (probably angry or scared) and there was an old lady who actually took out her walking stick and beat them with it through a row of houses screaming "Bad! Bad children!"

Many visions of what was going to happen flitted across his mind, and none were good. However, the reaction from the old man was far from what he imagined.

He smiled.

"… Password, please?"

A clear note of 'Got you' flashed across Subaru's eyes before being suppressed by his usual demeanor.

"Erm… Fei rocks my jocks?"

This time, a pleasant grin flashed through the old man's face. With a whisper, he answered.

"Wrong."

In an instant, a yelp rose to Sakura's throat as she felt she was pulled into the house. Kurogane and Subaru followed suit, but the instant they were in, the door slammed shut, curtains were pulled shut and the room plunged into darkness.

The old man drew a knife and placed it in front of Sakura's throat as he held her.

"The three of you… you're the ones wanted by Fei, aren't you?" the old man panted, his eyes gleaming with madness. "Imagine what Fei would give me for handing him the three people currently wanted by the Mafia… all I have to do is hand you-"

Whatever he was going to say, they never found out, as quick-witted Sakura lifted her foot and slammed in hard on the old man's when he wasn't paying attention. He yelled in pain and Sakura darted away, giving Kurogane a good clearing as he rushed forward and hit the man's head with the hilt of his sword. Everything stopped for a long moment, as the old man's eyes were wide and all of them stared in anticipation of fear of what was going to happen next. Suddenly, in a fluid movement, he collapsed.

Silence befell them, interrupted by the loud noise outside the house as the adrenalin slowly calmed. Finally, Subaru broke the silence.

"I'll tie him up. You two search for the trapdoor. It'll probably be hidden under a carpet or something."

Holding the girl close to him, Kurogane led them into the house. It was small and dirty as this was an area with poor people living in it in low-cost houses. They crammed through the narrow doorway and into the living room. The room was dark and bare with only a rocking chair and a small table with a pipe on it. A broken fireplace was attached to the wall and after an investigation, they confirmed nothing was there.

Next, they crammed into another room. This was clearly a bedroom with a small bed with blankets with patches on it. A table stood in the corner of the room. As Sakura entered, something creaked underneath of her.

A feeling of fear and hope filled their chests.

"K-Kurogane-san…"

"Get off the carpet."

Sakura did what she was told. Quickly, Kurogane drew the unseen carpet away from the floor and a wooden trapdoor appeared in front of their eyes.

Kurogane drew out his sword and rammed the tip on the lock. It broke and the gruff man kicked it away. Sakura opened the door. It opened with a loud, eerie creak and showered them with dust. Faintly, they could see stairs leading to the darkness far below.

A sadistic grin slid across his face and warm hope fluttered in his heart.

"Yay."

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**How childish of Kuro-tan! Well, sorry for the lack of Fai-ness in this chapter, but no fears, the next chappie will be dedicated to him. To kuroxfaxlovers question: They'll be KuroFai the moment they meet each other again, and that would be around after the next chapter, if you want to know.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 is here! This whole chapter is for Fai, so Kurogane fans will have to wait for the next chappie!**

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It's been days since he fully recovered from the illness, probably a whole week or more being in this hell-hole. All three of them waited, waited for signs of some sudden arrival or intrusion, but so far, nothing. A few men entered the cell everyday to mock or hurt them and give them food and water, but besides that, everything else seems to be normal.

"You think they're gonna come for you, huh? Well, you better stop waiting; after what we heard from that house, it's pretty certain that none of them are coming for you!" One of the usual jeers, but strangely, Fai found that very hurting than the others (which he usually ignores), like a sword embedded deep in his heart, and remained there. His stomach grew heavy and all of a sudden Fai felt very heavy.

The door slammed shut and the blonde just stared blankly at it. Not that there was a point in doing it since they could barely see anything in the darkness, but the door seemed much more interesting than their current conditions. He didn't know how long he sat there, staring at the door like a lifeless zombie, but what snapped him out of his trance was a sharp voice that sliced through the silence.

"… What did he mean by 'what we heard in the house'?" Ashura's voice rang clearly in the air, though old and weary and tired, still as careful and natural as he remembered. Fai turned around facing Ashura blankly. "… What do you mean?"

"He said 'what we heard in the house'. Something happened there, didn't it? I heard that Subaru escaped the moment I was captured, and he probably had found his way to you by Yuuko's help. But when you were captured, I overheard conversations that you were alone and starving and tired and dirty on the streets. No one was there with you. Like I asked: What happened?" In the dark, Fai could see that Ashura was trying to reassure him that it would be okay to talk about it, giving him the courage to talk about sensitive or hurtful things, offering an anchor. It never failed; Ashura was too good a father to overcome. Slowly, Fai drew a breath, ready to tell him everything, but when he opened his mouth, no sound came out.

He couldn't say it. He just couldn't. Not because it hurt, not because he was ashamed of what had happened, but he was so used to bottling up his emotions ever since he was a child that he just _couldn't _say it.

Oh yes, he had wanted to tell others of his story, his feelings and emotions of loneliness and despair and anguish and fear, and that ache in his heart that would never go away. He longed to share his feelings with others about how scared he was and how empty life seemed to him.

He was too used to shutting himself away than telling the truth.

Suddenly, the room went cold and Fai began to shake, his heart suddenly getting heavier and heavier.

Ashura quickly noticed it and walked towards the blonde, opening his arms to pull him into a hug. Out of instinct, Fai drew himself away from the warm arms _like Kurogane's_. "No," he sobbed, curling in on himself. The back of his eyes burned and Fai was struggling to keep the oncoming tears from leaking. The man took this as a sign of not being ready and just sat there, watching Fai struggle with his emotions. Fai didn't want to tell. He wasn't ready. And he was scared. Instead, he reached out a hand and patted his head gently. This kind gesture just made Fai all the nervous and suddenly, he just couldn't hold it back any longer and broke down, sobbing, drawing his legs rocking back and forth. He could distinctively hear a squeak of surprise from the other side of the room and dismissed it as the new kid who hadn't spoke for days.

How stupid. An adult crying like a kid. When will he learn to grow up? And Fai thought he was weak enough.

Ashura turned to stroke his hair as this gesture, trying to sooth the distressed blonde. He knew that whatever that was bottled up inside him was breaking Fai, something he will not allow to happen.

His mouth moved on its own and Fai found himself screaming things he always wanted too. On how badly he missed Ashura and how lonely he felt that he saw no point in living anymore, the trouble he always had with his body due to the after-effects of his abuse, how he was so angry at everything, and lastly, to Kurogane. That name caught the older man's eye.

"Kurogane?" he repeated. Fai nodded, and went on – in a much quieter and calmer tone, but with a lot of pauses and hitches and shaky breaths – about how he met Kurogane, how they travelled here to save Ashura, to their encounter with Kyle and what he told him, how he went mad and shot Kyle and ran away. Everything went quiet for a long moment. The kid decided to pop his head to look at what was happening, and judging from his looks, timidly. Before Ashura could get another word edgewise, guilt filled his heart as he remembered and he blurted out before he could control his mouth.

"… I'm so sorry."

"What?" Ashura stared at him with a confused look, caught by surprise.

"I-" His voice broke again and Fai shut swollen, red eyes _like Kurogane's _and steadied his breath for a moment.

"I came here to look for you. They came here because of me, to protect me and keep me safe, and I'm pretty sure you want me safe too. But… but I never cared for my safety the whole. And now I'm here, captured, worrying everyone and causing them more trouble. I came here to save you, but because of my carelessness, now I have to save too. It's just stupid," he spat bitterly. "I'm so sorry… you always told me to take care of myself, but…" he just couldn't speak anymore. The guilt in him was so overwhelming. Instead, he shut his eyes and focused on pushing the pain away.

Ashura stared gently at the blonde. "I'm not mad at you. So stop blaming yourself," he whispered. "It's true that you shouldn't have lost control and act so recklessly, but everyone makes mistakes sometimes. So that we could learn from the past to change the future."

"He probably doesn't really like me anyway," he muttered bitterly.

The other man just stared at him dumbly.

"I…" Fai bowed his head, hoping his former guardian couldn't see him blushing in the dark. "I… kinda, erm, like… eh… _Kurogane_." He finished the name quickly, praying to the Gods that Ashura hadn't heard it.

No such luck.

The old, worn face broke into a warm, true smile, brightening his whole face. One could mistaken he was actually 20 years younger than he was now. He let out a girly squeal of delight. "Ooooo! Finally! My little baby's in looooove!" The man stood up and made a twirl tiptoed. He landed next to Fai, his face inches away from his.

"So how is Kurogane? Is he nice to you? When's the wedding? Remember to invite me! I remembered…" Fai rolled his eyes and braced himself for the typical old man ranting. "When he first came here, he looked like a mean and stupid git. But after a while, you start to see him more than he is." He sighed deeply. "That boy has a lot in his mind by the time. It looked like he was set out to do something, not for money, or fame, or ambition, but for something… else. Something that's precious to him. Something… maybe I'm just dreaming by the time, it looked at though he was trying to help or protect someone," he said thoughtfully. Fai spun his head around and stared at him, surprised at how Ashura was able to see all these in Kurogane. In turn, the other man turned to the blonde beside him.

"Yes." This time, he looked sad. "From what you told me earlier, it's true that he had captured you and landed you here in the first place." He paused, swallowing. "And because of it, caused you so much pain, but I'm sure, he probably has a very good reason for it. See here." He pointed at the kid in the corner, fast asleep.

"His name's Syaoran. There was a girl with him when he first entered called Sakuba or something. He was here because both of them were abandoned by the parents when they were just a few years old, and were forced to live on the streets and met each other there. That boy has a high degree of respect for others and has high morality. When he was out in the streets, both of them survived by stealing and pick pocketing, but Syaoran never liked it. He wanted to feel like he deserved the money, not robbed from the innocents. Fei Wong saw this vulnerability in him and took advantage of the situation, inviting him into the Mafia to gain some money he 'deserved'. So then…" he coughed. "He worked really hard, not really knowing what he was doing, really. He earned a whole lot of money like Kurogane did, but eventually the things he had to do were getting much more horrible and easier to comprehend, and finally one day, he refused to continue, and ran."

"It didn't take them long to find him and the girl though, and before he left, I gave him the address of a hotel that was run by one of Yuuko's friend, which I think he gave the girl before he was captured. That's how he ended up here." Ashura glanced at the sleeping boy, a soft smile on his face. "He never wanted to do anything bad. He just wanted to have a normal life, to protect the person precious to him, to see her happy. That kind of determination…" He turned to Fai. "… was the exact kind of expression worn by Kurogane I saw many years ago."

By the time he finished, Fai's eyes were as large as two blue crystal balls. Did Kurogane… Did he really…

"But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong," he shrugged. "I won't blame you if you hate him, and plan to for the rest of your life – he had ruined your life and turned it to hell after all, and he could actually be a jerk, but… I really don't think he's the kind of person who would do bad things for the wrong reasons."

Fai shifted his gaze from Ashura's face to the ground. … Really? Did he really mean all those words he said to him? Was he truly truthful in his actions and body movements? He wasn't sure. After what had happened, he didn't really know who to trust. But Kurogane didn't look like the kind of person who would cheat on someone: he looked more like a doggy, loyal, brave and loving. He didn't look like he would do something bad or betray someone without a good reason. And… he definitely didn't look like someone who would lie (except for his pride) or feign and surpress his emotions. That's one thing Fai was quite certain. How else would he be yelling so often and chasing him around like a grandma with rabies?

Still, Fai couldn't be sure. After all that has happened, he found that the only person he could trust with his heart was Ashura. Besides, all this thinking was making his head pound.

"Is there anything else I can think of besides Kurogane and your philosophical babbling?" he whined jokingly, hoping to ease the tense atmosphere. The older man chuckled at this, closing his eyes.

"Well, maybe you can help by thinking a way to get out. I'm not planning to stay here for the rest of my old days." Another deep sigh. "I would want to spend the rest of my retirement peacefully. All these running are really bad for my bones, and my back." He stretched to emphasize his point. True to his words, various cracks could be heard. "Maybe stay by a cottage next to the beach, play chess, oh man, I would need a real, long vacation…" He smiled warmly, dreaming about days when nothing would be complicated again…

Fai chuckled and lean his head back, staring at the ceiling. Where are his companions? Are they looking for him? Well, with Subaru there, they probably are. Have they found the clues yet? Are they in Florence already, or in Rome? Or had they abandoned him completely? Fai didn't know, but he did know one thing. He couldn't just depend on them on everything. He couldn't just _wait_ for them to come and rescue him. He had to do something, anything, to save himself and Ashura and Syaoran. And with that, Fai closed his eyes in temporary peace, his mind clearer and calmer than in the past few weeks, current resolution firm and strong. He was never one to wait anyway.

… But did Kurogane really mean it when he said he loved him?

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**Done! Next chapter: KuroFai-ness, but mostly near the ending of the chapter! Sorry for the long waiting. I don't think they were ready to do that just yet. Not much Syaoran mentioning though, I'll have to fix that… so the next chapter will be rather long…**

**NOTE: There might not be any updates next week as I shall be going to England. But my dad's bringing a laptop so I might also be able to update if I have the time. Also, the week after that, updates might come a little later, possibly not on Friday but on Saturday or Sunday.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I'm terribly sorry for the late chapter! I couldn't finish it in time, and Christmas was coming… Anyway, here's the twelve page chapter. Enjoy! Merry Christmas and happy new year!**

**Disclaimer: …**

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Yuuko stood at the balcony of her house, admiring the view of the magnificent city. The purple kimono she opted to wear hung loosely from her pale body. She watched as the smoke from her pipe swirled and twirled, creating a beautiful pattern as it sifted through the air, floating into the night sky. Her brows furrowed, something heavy weighing down in her chest, making it a little hard to breathe.

Worry. Depression. Guilt. Regret

She must know. Now.

With a sad look, feather-like footsteps retreated into the living room of her Japanese house, snatched her mobile phone away from the desk, and dialed a number. It took exactly 30 seconds for someone to pick up the phone.

"What is it, Yuuko-san?" An irritated voice with no manners at all. Clearly the man needed some teachings.

"How is the girl, Watanuki?" Well, come to think of it, she herself wasn't so polite either.

"Gone. With them. Seems you were right all along." The sentence was accompanied by a snort of disbelief. Yuuko felt like reaching out and strangling the stupid boy, but held back. He did, after all, helped her a lot in this situation.

"… Good. It seems they're moving on, all making their own choices based on their own resolutions," she whispered into the phone, slightly annoyed when she heard Watanuki sighing and huffing something that sounded like 'not with that Hitsuzen crap again!'. "And…." She continued loudly. "Are you all ready?"

At that, Watanuki was silent. Yuuko coughed.

"… Yes."

"Good. I will send someone for news so be sure to act soon. Don't let the both of them die."

"… Yuuko-san?"

"Yes?"

"… Why are you doing this?

Silence.

"… Because this was what Clow Reed wished for. The cycle must end. Now." With that, she hung up, leaving her former employer and friend staring at the phone before him in confusion.

"… Eh?"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"So… what am I supposed to do again?"

Fai slapped his hand to his forehead hardly and groaned. This was the sixth time he had explained the plan both to Ashuar. Syaoran kneeled beside him, a defeated look on his face. Nice man may he be, but Ashura's age was finally getting to him. It seemed he was having difficulty understanding the… **complexity** of their plan. The boy met the blonde's eyes nervously.

"Maybe… he can just do what we tell him to do by the time the plan comes into action?" he suggested, feeling slightly crept out by all of this. He certainly didn't want Fai to lose his temper. And with those blood-shot eyes staring at him and the thin line of his mouth, Syaoran was sure he was on the verge of a breakdown.

Fai closed his eyes and ran his hand over his hair, taking deep breaths to calm down. "Alright," he said finally, eyes fixed on the innocent looking Ashura. "Just… do whatever we tell you later, okay?" Slightly confused, the old man nodded. "Still, I don't understand why you're not telling me the plan. I mean, you explained six times only."

With that, Fai stormed to the other side of the dark room sat crossed leg, sulking like a petulant child. Apparently, being around Kurogane too long does have its consequences.

Tonight. They will move on and escape. Everything ends tonight.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

There was nothing in here that he liked. Even though he could be messy at times, Kurogane had a thing for cleanliness. He couldn't stand dust, and he hated the dark because it associates being blind, and the red-eyed man can't afford to be blind, for it posed a danger to his oh-so important manly pride.

The passage was long and wide, a purpose of filling up with as many people as possible at times of emergency. It was dark, dusty and the place was very, very unpleasant. Torches hung on the stone walls, lighting and guiding the way as the three of them walked inside this huge maze. The passage was very unstable; if there were any big explosions or some sort, Kurogane was sure the whole place would actually collapse, or at least cave at some point of the passage. Despite being large, it was horribly long, stretching for at least a kilometer. Well, it wasn't too bad for him since he was an extremely healthy teacher teaching PE, a man who had served in the military for years could endure walking for kilometers a day. But as for Sakura and Subaru… it was an entirely different story.

Kurogane stopped, closed his eyes and turned around. The two of them were a long way behind him.

"Will you two hurry up?" he snapped, gaining him a sharp glare.

"We're doing our best, you know!" Subaru snapped back, dragging Sakura behind him, who was on the verge of passing out. He took out a water bottle from his handbag and handed it to Sakura with a soft look in his eyes. His previously _cough_ beautiful _cough_ face was now sweaty, ruining the makeup that was all over his face. Halfway through the journey, the man had decided to dispose the wig, his hair was now all wet and disheveled. After what seemed like hours for Kurogane, the both caught up with him, leaning against the wall, panting.

"Took you long enough," he growled, crossing his arms.

Subaru ignored him, complaining. "Why do all the missions I'm given requires me to travel at long distances like this?!"

"… Probably why you're so thin."

"Shut up."

"Well, good news for you then, we're almost there"

With this, Sakura lifted her head and gazed into red orbs, a hopeful twinkle in her eyes. "Really?" she panted. Kurogane nodded and sat down.

"Well, I reckon you both sit down and rest. We're not far from here now and we'll need all the strength we have to get out of there later," he said, turning his head up at the ceiling so he wouldn't meet any of their eyes, trying to hide his worry.

… Was Fai alright? Was he hurt? Was he safe?

… Was he too late?

Kurogane shut his eyes and tried to drive those thoughts away. No, Fai was a strong person. After enduring so much pain, he knew that the blonde man would still be able to hold on; to endure. He was strong, he was a man, and he could handle it.

_Please, idiot. Just hold on a little while longer. We're almost there. _

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

It was dark outside when Fai woke up from his sleep. _Time to leave_, he thought, and quickly nudged both Syaoran and Ashura.

"Time to go," he whispered, making sure not to let the guard outside hear that. Quickly, he peeled off the pair of socks (which hadn't been washed for _months_) and took the socks offered by Syaoran (which he had been wearing ever since he was a child on the streets) as the boy instructed the older man to take his off (Fai didn't even _want_ to imagine how smelly it was). Next, he tied it all to Ashura's walking stick that was thin enough to slip through the hole.

"The keys are in his pocket, Syaoran-kun. Make sure you catch him and get the keys out before he collapse to the floor," Fai instructed. "You're hands are probably small enough to reach out, so we're counting on you, alright?" Syaoran nodded, further encouraged when Fai gave him a determine smile, accompanied by Ashura's blind cheers and loud squeals of "Go! Go! Go!" The two of them instantly turned to hush him, but it was far too late.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NOISE?!" A roar came from the other side of the door. Both males instantly backed away into the corner when the door opened, revealing the angry, purple face of the guard. "WHO WAS THE ONE?!" he spun around, glaring. "WHO DID THAT?!" His eyes darted around the three of them but finally rested his gaze on Ashura's innocent, smiling face. The blonde man and the boy stood staring at each other before Syaoran shrugged.

"Well, that makes things a lot easier," he said, pretending he didn't see those fearsome eyes boring down on him.

"Hmm," the chemistry teacher shrugged, agreeing, before the both of them surged forward and tackled the large man to the ground, the loud noises accompanied by the old man whistling like he had no care of the world with a smile on his face.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"I can't believe our socks are really that smelly to make him faint!" Syaoran exclaimed, blushing as they dragged the large body to the darkest corner of the room. "It wasn't scientific at all, and I never thought it would work, Fai-san! But…" He couldn't seem to get over the fact that their socks had indeed been so smelly to actually make a man faint. The idea was just so fascinating and fearful to him as his oh so imaginative mind started dreaming of smelly socks chasing him trying to smooch him…

"Yeah…" Fai replied dazedly. He remembered reading this from a storybook given to him by Ashura a long time ago, but never expected it to work to well. What could you expect? They were stripped of all weapons and this was this only thing left that he could think of since they couldn't just depend on brute force and violence to solve it _unlike Kurogane_. As that thought slipped into his mind, he suddenly felt a sharp pang on his chest where his heart was.

_I'm so sorry, Kuro-pon. I'm sorry that I don't know what's going on. Do you really love me? Or is everything that you do just out of pity? Would you care so much of me as to put your life on line trying to save me? Oh, Kuro-chi! I wish you were here! I'm so scared, Kuro-pon… so scared… They haven't done anything yet, but what if we're caught? What if they hurt me, or worse, Ashura-san and Syaoran-kun? Oh please, Kurogane, what are you DOING TO MY HEAD?!_

"F-Fai-san… are you a-alright?"

The blonde man snapped back into reality, and stared at the source of the voice with a confused expression on his face.

"What?"

"No, I- I thought you were in pain or something, with your face scrunched up like that… are you sure you're alright?" the little boy gazed up at him, eyes filled with concern. Again, that sharp pang rose from his chest. This boy is so much like Kurogane in deep nature. Yeah, so he wasn't some mean, old gruff little doggy who frequently loses his temper and all that, but… he was just as caring, as strong and determined to protect the ones precious to him, ones whom he hold dear in heart. Ones whom he call 'treasures'.

_Am I your treasure, Kuro-pii? If so, why haven't you turned up? It's been weeks. _ Fai thought bitterly. The actual truth of Kurogane abandoning was slowly eating away his hope that there was someone in the world who truly cared about him besides Ashura and perhaps this boy in front of him.

"Yeah," Fai gave the boy a forceful smile. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"Should we… just leave him here? Or should we tie him up?"

"… Let us give him some mercy. I don't think anyone would like to be tied up and gagged at all." It was true. When he was a child, Kyle and his buddies (including this man) used to tie him to the bed and gag him when they… raped him, just to keep him quiet from Ashura, Kamui and Subaru. No matter what anyone did to him, Fai really didn't want anybody else to feel the same helplessness as he did.

"Well," Ashura declared, trying to stand up. "Let us be on our way, shall we?"

_Kuro-pon… where __**are**__ you?_

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

With every single second that ticked by, a part in Kurogane died. It wasn't of fear or anticipation, but of nervousness. He couldn't just sit here and do nothing! Fai might be in danger now, or hurt, or…

He turned back, glaring at Subaru, who was holding a sleeping Sakura in his arms, staring at her in a motherly way. He caught Kurogane's eyes, and whispered "Not yet."

"Why?" he growled impatiently, reaching for his sword.

"It's not time yet. These ceilings," he pointed above. "are very, very thin. Any noise, and I really mean any _noise_, would certainly pass through it. The Mafia is extremely busy in the evening, where most people's guards are put down. Night is suspicious, but evening is in between night and day, not to mention that everyone is having their dinner. Their operations run most actively during this time of the day, and by that, there are people everywhere. A very unwise decision, not to mention we haven't heard any sounds or movements indicating distress, I think it's best if we stay, and listen."

Kurogane grunted. As much as he didn't wanted to admit, Subaru was right. He knew more about the place than he did. Grudgingly, the man sat down and closed his eyes in an attempt to relax and rest, but kept his ears on high alert.

Silence passed between them, and for a moment, Kurogane actually dosed off. He didn't know how long they stayed like this: seconds, minutes, or even hours, but as a scream tore from above from a very familiar voice, he jerked away. He turned to Subaru, whose face was pale as well. Sakura just woke up, but the message written in his eyes were evident.

_Fai._

Kurogane growled. Wise or unwise, with or without consent, he would barge in. Now.

He stood up, and before the others could even open their mouths to speak, Kurogane had already disappeared into the above.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The three of them crept around the place, making sure to be quiet and unseen. But however long they seemed to walk, the end never seemed to come.

"Are you sure we're on the right path?" whispered Fai with urgency in his voice. Syaoran nodded. He was probably the only one who was absolutely certain of the place; as he had made sure to note every single detail down to help him escape if he could. "The underground passage is near, a few more minutes and-"

"What do you think you're doing?"

All three of them froze, cold dread rushing in quicker than light. Fai felt as if his stomach was full of lead and his head suddenly felt very light, and oh God he just couldn't break down and cry here! Not now! Fearfully, he turned around, his heart plummeting down into darkness.

Standing just beside them, was Fei Wong Reed. His huge body, though quite a distance away, towered over them, his authority and power emanated from him more powerful than ever. Syaoran froze in place, but Fai knew that beyond his fear, his mind was calculating his weaknesses, his quick mind formulating a plan. He turned to Ashura, and found him almost unaware of the horrifying man before them. Instead, his eyes were darting aroundto every corner that might be able to use as an escape. The three of them backed away from him as he took a step forward, that ever amusing smile on his face. It was always like that – Fei Wong never liked to take his victims seriously. He preferred toying them, making them feel fear at his very existence. The smile on his face only grew wider.

"Well, I never imagined Firenze to fail me. After all, he never did before. But well, everyone makes mistakes." He turned his eyes to Fai, who instantly shrunk away, hoping the wall behind them could just melt and then they can escape and have a new life and…

No such luck.

"Boss! Boss!" Another man came running, but froze as he saw them. Fei Wong gave him an incomprehensible _look_, and a smile crept into his face instantly.

"… Yes. I'll go get the others." Once he was out of sight, Fei turned his attention back to them.

"Don't bother to find an escape. As long as you're here, I won't let my guard down." God, those eyes… it's not just amused, angry and intelligent, there's something else in there… something he had never seen before in those eyes, but something familiar: it looked very much like…

Lust.

Fai's eyes widened in terror, and everything went cold at once, like a misty chill appearing out of nowhere. He could no longer see or sense Ashura and Syaoran standing beside him, he could no longer see the lights shining from above… all he could see was Fei Wong, and the darkness he never wanted to return to. He started shaking in fear.

"No… N-No… You- You can't…"

"I can, and I will. I've done it before, don't you remember?" Those words seemed to light something in him and suddenly, memories he so desperately trying to forget assaulted his mind mercilessly. The feeling of bodies pressing him down, pinning him onto the cold, hard floor… Hands touching, groping, squeezing, claiming, hurting, that feeling of something invading his body, the pain of being torn open: tearing, tearing, hurting, bleeding, red, haze, pain, tears…

In his haze of terror and pain, Fai never noticed the amount of people slowly gathering around them, never heard his comrade's shouts and the feeling of them being pulled away from him. All he could focus on now was the crowd that slowly descended upon him. Their red eyes were filled with lust, glee and happiness.

"As for a reward of your good behavior these months, I think I'll let you all go first."

Suddenly, Fai felt pain as his back was slammed hard onto the ground. Then, all that existed was pain, and only pain. Fists descended and collided with his face and body, drawing screams and cries from him as many others kicked his side. They submitted him to all kinds of pain: punching, kicking, slapping, pinching, squeezing, stomping, yanking… Distinctively, he could hear his bones cracking and snapping in him, and, oh God, the pain… it just wouldn't stop, it can't stop, it was so unpleasantly familiar; maybe he deserved it, maybe-

As quickly as it has begun, the torture stopped. Fai just lay on the floor, writhing in agony. The pain of his broken bones and bruises overwhelmed him until nothing else existed anymore but the _pain_. Breathing heavily, Fai opened his tear-filled eyes, just in time to see a man above him giving him a good kick in the side, sending him tumbling on the ground, stomach facing the floor, and realized what was going to happen.

"No…" he whimpered. "P-please… d-don't…" But his words went unheeded. He could feel a pair of arms grabbing his pants and yanking them down roughly, as _oh my how many are there _hands roamed and touched his body, taking away everything, claiming him once again. Fai felt the suppressed panic in his heart slowly ripping his way out. Tears began to stream down his face.

"No… No… NO. NO! NO! STOP! STOP IT!" he screamed, the final, thin threads of his control snapping as he struggled violently, screaming at the top of his lungs.

_Hit something. Hit, hit, hit, hit, HIT! Must stop oh please stop stop stop stop STOP STOP __**STOP**__!!_

Tears flowed down his face rapidly as more punches were delivered to his body and spine, blurring his vision, but the stress was too much. Fai continued screaming, kicking and struggling as hard as he can, doing anything, anything he could think of to prevent the torture that was going to happen. More punches and kicks. More pain. He could remember it now: the same helplessness and fear he felt as they took him, invaded him, tore him open, ripping him deeper and wider, spilling blood across the floor. The stripping of his innocence away from him, his virginity, and the never-ending _pain that just refused to stop!_

Fai screamed louder as he felt something being pressed onto his opening, desperately praying all of it to stop and that this was just a nightmare he'll wake up to. It won't be long now. Seconds afterwards and it'll just be pain and pain and pain and nothing else but pain.

… Why can't he feel it?

The situation suddenly felt so surreal, it like being trapped in a dream: standing there (in this case, lying), watching or hearing everything unfold before him with absolutely no idea what was going on. The… thing that was pressed against him remained there, yet it wasn't hurting him. Why? They had never once hesitated to cause him pain, why stop now? Suddenly, he felt the weight above him lifted away, the hands pinning him to the ground wrenched off from his body. Fai didn't know what was going on, nor did he want to find out. Eyes shut tightly, he could hear yells and screams around him; some of pain, anger and even fear. The blonde man curled into a ball and sobbed, not wanting to face the reality of what was in store for him. What kinds of torture are they planning now? Whatever it was, Fai knew it was going to hurt and he didn't want to face it, no matter what.

Something grabbed onto his shoulder. Colder than winter nights and ice.

The blonde let out a panicked cry, trying to pry himself away from that cold aura emanated from the figure. He didn't hear the reassurances from the familiar voice above. All that existed there was panic, red, screams…

Suddenly, something warm grabbed onto his wrist, pulling him away from the cold grasp. The yelling and strange noises had stopped as he was pulled into an embrace, warmth spreading from the figure to all corners of his body. Fai screamed in terror, being buried too deep under the depths of his crazy state, pounding and pushing the body before him, desperately trying to get away as tears streamed down his face mercilessly. The hold on him only got tighter, causing the man to struggle even harder, sobbing and screaming.

"Shh."

A smooth, deep voice broke through his hysterical mind, and for a moment, time froze. Opening tear-filled eyes, the sight of a disturbingly familiar man with red eyes filled his vision, and for a while, Fai felt himself melting within those ruby orbs.

"K-Kuro…" he croaked.

"Shh," Kurogane soothed, holding Fai close to his chest. The smaller man reached out shakily, gently cupping his face in his hands.

"Is t-this… a d-dream?" the blonde hiccupped. No, this was just too good. Kurogane couldn't be here. It was impossible. He wasn't supposed to care for him. If he really did, he would have arrived days before… right?

Kurogane frowned, but didn't dwell on it for long. Fai was hysterical; he would need all the comfort he could get. So, gently but uncertainly, the gym teacher pressed his lips against Fai's chapped ones, showing and locking him in the tender affection he deserved. The blonde stiffen, too shocked for words, and the longer the gruff man held those blue eyes in gaze, he could see the crazed mist in those sapphire orbs fade away. The lithe man began to shake, out of fear or anger he did not know as he melted completely into his arms.

"Ku… ro…"

Fai lunged forward, crashing his lips against the other, kissing him for all he was worth. He needed it. He needed an anchor, to pull him away from the depths of insanity and darkness. It didn't matter the one he was kissing didn't love him back, or was the one responsible for all his pain and suffering, all he needed now was for the person he loved to be beside him, giving him a sense of reality. The blonde cried out, sobbing as he clung desperately to the man.

"Pleasedon'tleavemeohpleasedon'tleaveme DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE, KURO-CHI!" Fai cried out loudly in his arms. It broke Kurogane's heart to see Fai so broken and desperate, almost as much when he saw him descended into insanity weeks ago. He held the blonde tighter and stroked his hair gently, hushing and whispering soothing words into his ear while pulling his pants up.

_He doesn't deserve any more pain and humiliation._

A faint cry grabbed Kurogane's attention. Lifting his head, he saw the boy with Fai on his knees, breathing heavily, blood gushing out of his left shoulder. Fei Wong stood before the boy with a gun pointing straight at him.

"Don't move."

The air suddenly became very chilly, with the feeling of 'something bad was going to happen' hanging in the air. He hugged the blonde closer as he eyed the evil man warily. The only remaining sounds in the room were the boy's heavy and ragged breathing accompanied by Fai's gentle sobs. Fei's smile never wavered, and Kurogane felt the rage inside him intensify.

"… Do you really think…" he began, "that I would actually be so careless, as to let all of you escape so easily?" There was an etch of pride and fury in his voice.

"Well…" said a tired voice from behind. It was Ashura. "Of course we do, but like they say: wish for the best, eh?"

Fei Wong smirked. "I don't think I agree with you on that. I thought you knew me better, after working together for so long."

"Weelll, to be honest, I do know. Would you like me to tell? About why you gave me left me with a walking stick that could be used as a weapon and with a boy with the mind of a genius?"

"I'm not the gloating type, and certainly not one of those cheap TV villains, so no."

"Suit yourself."

At that exact moment, a noise sounding vaguely like an explosion erupted from the room next to theirs. The building shook and the chilly feeling got worse. Kurogane knew the worst was yet to come, but fast approaching. Fai jerked in his arms with a loud sob.

"W-What… is t-that?" choked the blonde, eyes wide and fearful as he tried to move his body to look around. Kurogane held him tighter.

"It's nothing," he whispered. "Whatever happens, I'll protect you."

Fai jerked his head up and gazed into ruby orbs for a moment, brows furrowing. A storm was going inside his eyes, a battle between trust and mistrust. Kurogane watched, trying to convey as much truthful sincerity through his eyes as possible. Finally, Fai closed his eyes softly and leaned against the man, planting a chaste kiss on his neck.

"Then save me. Protect me. Don't abandon me," he whispered, eyes pleading. Kurogane only tightened his grip on him, pulling him up as he stood up himself, sword drawn. It wasn't long before someone burst into the room. They didn't even pause to say something or pose themselves; instead they charged ahead… at Fei Wong.

Surprised at the sudden intrusion, Fei was unable to dodge the attack. The knife pierced him sharply into his fat stomach, and for a long moment, he stood there, gaping in confusion and horror before falling to his knees. Ashura took advantage the shock at charged forward, walking stick prepared to crunch the skull ahead.

A sudden figure appeared and surged forward.

Fai turned his head around to see the commotion.

A gun whipped out, opened shot, **blood**.

Time froze again.

Blood splattered everywhere, Ashura covered in it, standing in the middle of it all, a tiny hole in his chest. His mouth was wide open, blood trickling down from it.

Fai's eyes widened, his mouth open in a silent scream.

And in one swift movement, Ashura collapsed, unmoving on the ground.

Time moved again.

Xing Huo withdrew her gun, face void of expression. Fai's face became familiarly gaunt, eyes shrinking, emptiness and madness taking over him. A snarl crept to his face and a few seconds later (with strength Kurogane never knew he had), the blonde tore away from his grasped and charged towards Xing Huo, screaming while tears coursed down his pale cheeks despite his injuries and bruises. The anger within him has moved beyond that stage.

_No! NO! I won't lose him again! No, no, not when we just met, I just found him! No, he's not going to leave me again! Not again! This woman will pay, she'll-_

_**Crack!**_

A young man with glasses had just hit Fai on the head with a metal pole, and, just like Xing Huo, his face was completely set, as if they were on an important mission and the only goal was to get the job done. Fai stood still, trying to the register the shock, before collapsing onto the ground, unconscious.

Kurogane didn't know what happened afterwards. He vaguely saw figures fighting Fei Wong in a distance, but even the temptation of violence didn't seem to snap him out of his trance. All the man saw was Fai, lying on the floor, unconscious and unmoving like Ashura's body. The only difference was that the blonde's eyes were closed and no blood on the scene, a complete opposite of the other's. Despite the chaos, Kurogane stood up and made his way towards the lithe man with only one single thought surfacing in his raging mind.

_Failed to protect. Failed to protect. Must protect. Protect. Protect. Protect._

He knelt beside the body, and quickly searched for a pulse, praying to whatever fucking God there is out there to spare him this one time. To his utter relief, he found one; weak and irregular it may be, but a pulse is still a pulse.

_How could he have failed to protect? Damn it! You're much stronger than him and you couldn't even keep him safe and pull him back! What is wrong with you?!_

All of a sudden, a hand grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him down aside along with Fai, barely dodging a shot.

"_Are you paying attention at what's going on?!"_

That voice snapped Kurogane out of his trance. He looked over his shoulder to see Subaru staring at him angrily. "I know you're worried about Fai, and I am too, but you can't go getting yourself killed like this!"

"Mm," he muttered, trying to cover up his embarrassment of being caught off guard. Seriously, what was happening to him? He was usually the alert one. The gruff man lifted Fai with one hand, and surveyed the scene. There were many people fighting here and there, the sound of gunshots deafening in the room. The girl – Sakura, was it – was held protectively in Syaoran's arms, both cowering in a corner. Well, who could blame them? It's like throwing kids in the middle of a war with bullets and missiles flying everywhere.

"Subaru! _Subaru_!"

Said man searched through the scene for the source of voice, and his eyes fell on a figure as his heart stopped dead.

Kamui.

"Subaru!" he yelled, rushing towards them. The thin man seized his brother's shoulders, shaking him with worry. "Subaru! Are you alright?! _Answer me_!"

"Ka… Kamui?" he asked weakly. "What… _What_…"

"No time for stuttering now." There was panic in his voice. "You guys have to hurry back into the passageway before things get out of hand. There'll be people waiting for you there and they'll get you out and take you somewhere safe!"

"What… what about you?"

"I'll join you as soon as we get things settled." He dragged all two – well, three actually – of them up, pulling them through the madness.

"Wait! Wait, there's Sakura, and the boy!" Subaru continued weakly, pointing at the two huddled figures. Kamui followed his gaze and muttered something under his breath that sounded like a swear word before turning at the other direction.

"Doemeki! Get those two kids out of here! Now!" he yelled at a guy who seemed to be killing with no expression on his face at all. He locked eyes with him and nodded, running towards them. "C'mon," Kamui whispered. He dragged all of them through the room and to the corridors, Doemeki and the kids not far behind. Occasionally they had to stop to listen or shoot, but after what seemed like an eternity, they finally made their way through into the underground passage. Several men and women greeted them.

"Follow them. They'll lead you back to where you came from and a van will be waiting for you all. They're going to drive you to a remote area outside Florence for the time being. So go, now!"

"Brother…" Subaru started weakly.

"Go!"

In a flash, Kamui was gone. They heard a loud noise as he shut the door.

"We have to leave before they notice you're gone," said a young woman beside them. She had black, curly hair tied in two ponytails as her piercing blue eyes stared at them. She took both Syaoran and Sakura's hand in hers and caught all of their gazes. "I know you have many questions, but please hold them for the moment. As soon as we reach our destination, you can ask as many questions as you like, and no matter how bizarre or embarrassing they are we will answer. We know we can't win your trust yet, but when all is said and done, it will be proved that we are on your side."

"Come on," said another man. "Off you go."

Eyes narrowing in suspicion, Kurogane followed with Fai in his arms, refusing to let anyone else touch him. Oh yes, _yes_, he does have a hell lot of questions to ask, and they better answer them before he finally loses his temper.

_Hang on, Fai. We're almost there._

* * *

**Happy? Oooooh! I hope I didn't do too badly, did I? DID I? Like I said, terribly sorry for the delay. The next chapter will be out on the 5****th**** of January, and no, there won't be any delays. By the way, I have a poll in my profile about my next fan fiction, so if it isn't too much, please vote! You'll have my thanks!  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**Happy new year, guys! Well, not so happy, really, thinking that we have to go through another hell of a year. But who cares? Fan fictions will make it up to it!**

**Disclaimer: I'm getting sick of doing this for every single hell of a chapter.**

* * *

The moment they arrive in the tiny cottage in the outskirts of Florence (a 10 minute drive from where they were left), Fai's condition had worsened. In the middle of their journey back, Fai had developed a concussion. His breathing became irregular and softer and his face had gone two shades paler. That was when the idiots started to take things a little more seriously, and thus they were split into two groups: the fast and the slow. One was to go first with Fai once they reached the end of the passageway, the other left behind to guard and wait.

It was obvious which of the choices did Kurogane chose.

But the moment they arrived, Fai was barely breathing.

He burst into the living room, panic and dread piling in his stomach and as he flung his head right and left, trying to find anyone, ANYONE who would save his beloved. His mouth opened, on the verge of tears and screaming and killing and destroying everything in sight.

_SOMEONE HELP HIM! DON'T LET HIM __**DIE**__!_

Someone pried the blonde from his arms, and, drowned in the haze of madness, snapped from his panic, willing to find the one who had taken his love one away from him. No, he will not let another person or thing take away the one he loved. He would tear him down, rip him into pieces, and present his head to the one he intended to hurt. Instinctively, the hysterical man reached below and grabbed the hilt of his sword…

"Stop."

The enraged man whirled himself around violently, searching for the source of the chilly voice. A cold and bony hand rested itself on his bicep and it took a few moments for Kurogane to identify the woman before him as Yuuko. Standing behind her was a man, holding Fai in his arms they way Kurogane did as he quickly scurried off into a room with others following him.

Light dawned on him as he realized what they were going to do to his blonde. Fai was going to get hurt. Something stirred in his head – something like a storm- ran amok, and soon his vision was filled with nothing but red and-

"Fai will not die."

**Stop.**

**What did she say?**

He gazed down at those mysterious yet serious eyes, unable to suppress the hope and need to be reassured.

"Those are doctors. They'll keep him safe."

The haze disappeared. Calming blue swept through his body like cool ocean waves, washing away everything red and bad from him.

"He'll be alright."

He felt lightheaded, as if all of this was just a bad dream, something that will pass by, the same surreal feeling he had not long ago, but this time, it was accompanied by warm comfort…

_Fai will live._

Warmth spread throughout Kurogane as a realization popped into his mind. By the time, his tired mind couldn't register any of it, except for a few words: safety, happiness, and living. The gruff man felt heavier and heavier by the second, strength draining out of him, before falling into the surprisingly peaceful and calming darkness ahead.

Fai will live.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Day one was the day he woke up and found himself in an unfamiliar room. It was the day when he finally got all the answers he had ever wanted to know.

_Slap! _A sound resonated from the living room.

Kurogane was out in a flash, only to be greeted by two crying figures; one's face was tinted with rage and the other of guilt. Subaru had just slapped his brother across the face.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE HERE, THEN, HUH?! I'VE WAITED AND WAITED AND ALL THESE YEARS I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! YOU COULDN'T HAVE THE TIME TO WRITE A MESSAGE TO BE AS PROVE YOU WERE ALIVE, NOW, COULD YOU?!"

"Ahem."

Two heads turned to him and two pairs of eyes met his bored look. With a hiss, Subaru gave a warning look to him and left, dragging Kamui behind, obviously to somewhere else to yell and vent his emotions on his own brother.

Kurogane sighed and plopped himself onto the sofa. This place wasn't exactly bad; the living room was huge with an Italian taste in it. Paintings decorated the walls and it felt homely and warm. It was soothing and quiet and very different from living in a city.

_Fai would love this._

…

…

_Fai!_

The man sprang up to his feet.

_What the fuck?! How could I have forgotten him?_

He searched and searched the place, opening door after door, but all the doors were locked. It just occurred to him that this house was huge for a country cottage, and there were a hell lot of people living in here than there were supposed to be.

_What is that witch up to? _

But Kurogane never had time to ponder the answer. His movements became more frantic as he tried to slice through one of the doors, panic starting to cloud his mind.

"What do you think you're doing?"

A man was standing behind him, arms crossed. It took him a while to register that this was the man who had saved the kids from the chaos yesterday. He frowned.

"Where's Fai?" he asked sharply.

"The doctors are still operating on him. Apparently his skull was fractured a little when Watanuki hit him on the head yesterday, and he's still in critical condition."

He let the statement dissolved in him. Fai. Fractured skull. Critical condition. Not good at all. He couldn't help but furrow his brows in worry, and for once in his life, Kurogane admitted that he was scared.

_Please Fai… just hang on! _

He felt helpless. Here Fai was, his life on the line between the living and the dead, yet he was unable to do anything to pull him back into the world, unable to hold him in his arms and comfort him. Not that this would be anything to the blonde since he was unconscious, but it could at least quell **his** fears that he was there for him.

_Will I lose him… forever?_

No…. no! He- he couldn't! No! He thought the blonde was finally safe, that everything was over! Fai can't die! He just can't! He felt pretty stupid for clinging onto the witch's words of comfort, but he would cling to anything that would be a reassurance that will not lose a love one again.

What would he do… if Fai dies? Would he miss him? Would he cry? For the moment, Kurogane just didn't want to think about it.

"A meeting is about to start in 5 minutes in the living room." The young man's voice broke through his thoughts. "You are to be present as well. That's all I'm telling," he added when he saw the look on Kurogane's face.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The moment he stepped into the room, Kurogane instantly wished he wasn't there.

His boss was staring at him in front of what seemed like more than 50 people in the room. Her gaze was stern and commanding and serious, something he never seemed to be able to imagine she was capable of. The others soon followed her gaze, and it was a matter of seconds before all eyes were on him. He growled and tried to keep his patience in check.

But of course, Kurogane never had much patience to start with.

"Why the fuck are you looking at me like that?!" he yelled. He inwardly smirked when he saw a few people flinching or backing away from him, but the witch remained unperturbed. Instead, a smile spread across her face.

"See! I told you he wouldn't last 10 seconds!" she exclaimed to the crowd, laughing away like a maniac.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT?!"

"Oh, don't fret, sweet little Kurokuro!" Yuuko waved her hand dismissively at him. "We were just testing your patience. Subaru and Kamui made a bet that you wouldn't last a minute, but I bet you wouldn't last 10 seconds! Ahahahaha…" At that moment, Kurogane's only wish was to slice the woman in front of him who was laughing her head off into pieces.

"Now," she said, turning serious again, like the dead suddenly awakened as she stared at the crowd. "I know many of you here are in confusion of what is happening and why you are here. Like I promised (Kurogane raised an eyebrow at this point. Since when did the witch have fulfilled any of the promises she makes?), we will answer all the questions you have today, but before we do this, please let me bring someone who knows how to start the story. "Oh, Watanuuuuuukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

Loud thumps could be heard nearby. It was getting louder and louder.

"I told you: I. Am. Not. Your. Slave! I refuse to answer every single call of yours like a dog!" A voice yelled from the distance and a young man with round glasses stomped into the room, still in his pyjamas. "WHAT?!" he howled, his face inches away from Yuuko.

"You…" A small voice broke through the silence immediately after the young man stopped yelling. "You're the one… hurt Fai…" Those words lit something in Kurogane's head. Yes, _yes_, this was the young man who had hurt Fai yesterday. The one responsible for Fai's condition and it was his fault that he was now hanging on a thread for survival. He… _he hurt Fai_! Rage boiled quickly in his heart and it would be a matter of seconds before he lost control and-

Subaru was quicker. After realizing it, he charged forward, prepared to hurt the man before him as much as possible in any way he can. Kamui quickly stepped in and grabbed hold of his twin, holding him tightly in an embrace.

"LET ME GO! HE HURT FAI! HE HURT HIM! I'M GONNA HURT HIM! HOW DARE HE?!" The man roared, clawing his hands in the air in an attempt to hurt Watanuki. The young man backed away, and the young man Kurogane previously saw –Doemeki, was it? - quickly stepped in and held him in his arms. It didn't take long for Kurogane to realize what the gesture meant and blushed. Kamui whispered something into his ear and his brother stilled, as if realizing something important, enough of a reason not to kill the young man.

"Watanuki, will you explain?"

"… Explain…?" he asked weakly, not quite getting over the shock of what happened just now.

"Yes, explain. The beginning, at least."

Eyeing Subaru carefully, he turned towards the crowd, shaking.

"Well, as you all know… er, you guys were recruited for a reason. You had been sent to many missions with clear explanations and reasons for your actions, but this one remains unknown. Like we promised, this is the explanation."

"As you all know…" he repeated. "This secret organization was created by none other than Clow Reed and Yuuko-san themselves." Kurogane turned his head towards his boss, his eyes narrowing. Well, she certainly didn't tell the teachers about _that_! "… an organization that handle things well beyond the authority's reach. This case we have here is considered the most confidential of all others, which involves… er…"

"-Ashura, Kamui, Subaru, Fai and little Kuro-chi here," finished Yuuko, an evil gleam on her face. "This case is considered confidential which involves even Clow Reed himself." Watanuki sighed in relief, glad to be spared from explaining it all.

"Clow Reed has a brother, Fei Wong Reed, who is the head of the Mafia child trafficking group. Some of you had been sent on missions regarding this, so you might know. Whenever he sees fit, he will kidnap children and put them on snuff films, raping and murdering them in the process. … Have you ever wondered why he was so obsessed of killing and defiling children like that?" The crowd went silent, some shaking their heads in confusion.

"When they were young, Clow and Fei Wong were sexually abused by their father." At this point, there were many shocked gasps and some just stared at Yuuko intensely, eyes wide. "When their mother didn't believe them and took part in the abuse as well, with teachers scoffing at what they were saying, they swore, if they ever got out of that hell, they would make the world pay for what it had done to them."

"Sure enough, their parents were caught and arrested by a kind neighbor who found out what was happening. Unfortunately, their psychiatrist didn't take the case seriously, claiming them to be lying and making up stories. The questioner wasn't particularly helpful either. With the addition that their testimonial wasn't good enough for the case, their parents remained free, but were not allowed fostering the both of them. Fueled by rage and despair, their goal was to create a group that could allow them to torture as many children as possible, to rebel against what the world said was 'right', to challenge justice. By the time, even kind Clow was driven mad by the events he went through." By this, Yuuko closed her eyes before continuing.

"The Mafia leader, after hearing about this case, knew that Clow and Fei were unstable. When they finally reached 18, he offered them a job – a child trafficking team he was planning to build- and they get to be the leaders and recruit others. They were brought into training and after a few years, they surfaced as one of the best – and worst – child trafficking team ever, and started making snuff films for extra profit." When she opened her eyes, Kurogane noticed there were tears in her eyes.

"They tortured and killed a whole lot of children, mind you. They became the worst kinds in the world. It wasn't after years that Clow realized the looks on the children faces when he hurt them. He told me," At this point, her voice started shaking. "That when he saw them crying and screaming in pain, their face scrunched up in that look of shame and despair, it reminded him of when he was young. He could feel their pain and helplessness, and it broke him in the end. He pleaded his brother to stop the snuff films, but he refused to. Rage had torn him apart more than anything else could repair, and that's how they broke apart, and with that, Clow went wandering everywhere, lost."

"During the years, he started formulating a plan. Clow just couldn't bear any children suffering and pay the price for their pain. He wanted to create an organization that was out of bounds by the authority, carrying out duties without the block of any legislative, and it was by then, I met him."

"He told me his plan. I agreed. We recruited people, build the organization, and that's how all of you came to be here, earning a living by doing odd jobs," she said, regarding the crowd. "Some of you might have met Clow, and these people might remember, that he died murdered by Fei Wong's men shortly afterwards, afraid he might reveal the secret to the police. Before he died, he made one last wish to me: to stop the cycle from going on, and if we can, destroy the present child trafficking team completely."

"It wasn't easy, the mission he left us. Many of you had seen the consequences of it: Fei Wong is clever. He knew what his brother planned to do before he died and sought to destroy this organization too. As long as we killed Fei Wong, the cycle won't continue. Both wishes are the same as one, but then something came up." Yuuko's gaze flickered towards him for a second. Kurogane knew. He was the cause of this problem.

"A certain blonde child named Yuui Fluorite came in. Of what I heard, Yuui and his family lived in poverty, his father constantly drunk and was involved with the Mafia, frequently abuses him and his twin. He was kidnapped and forced into a snuff film, but unlike all the others, he was spared. He lived, and was constantly raped by the members of the trafficking team. With an abused and vulnerable child exposed to such, all the Mafia leader needed to do was to manipulate the boy to bend to his will, continuing this cycle of abuses."

"So this is how it began. We had to eradicate this boy in one way or another. Some of you were sent on a mission to at least try to take him away from their arms, but Fei was ahead of us. He ordered Kyle to separate the team into two divisions, one with Yuui and one without him. But then a member of the Mafia came to visit me. Ashura, also a member of the team, came to me under Kamui's help and wished for the child to live on. After a few sessions, I told him about what we had to do and that in the end, he had to be killed. He understood, and agreed at the expense of this child's safety. So, both he and Kamui ran away that exact same day, and Ashura, being the one closest to Yuui, was expected to have him. He was under Kamui's guard ever since. That is why," she turned to Subaru. "Kamui wasn't killed. He was sent to the Mafia under our orders, at the same time learning to be a doctor. That is why he didn't want you to be dragged into this in the first place. He didn't want you to help him." Subaru gaped at her, and stared at his brother accusingly. Kamui continued holding his distraught twin, stroking and patting his hair.

"Then why are we here now? What do we have to do with this?" asked one of the men.

"Fei Wong's team is exceptionally strong and clever. None of them ever make mistakes. And the moment when Ashura was captured and the boy returning to Italy to find him, it was crucial for us to destroy the team completely. A few of you here… were involved in the actual chase itself. My men were spying and taking care of you the moment you started the mission," she said, turning to look at Kurogane and Subaru, with equally surprised looks on their faces. "Like the day you escaped from Japan, the woman whom you met during the car breakdown and the manager of the hotel you went where you met Sakura."

"By the time Kyle was sacked, we sent one of our people –Xing Huo- to be his second man as a spy. She gathered information on Yuui's attempt to escape and Watanuki told me when you both (she pointed to the both of them) were to act. The eradication of the current team was very successful. Fei Wong and Ashura were killed by Xing Huo herself, Kyle was killed by Yuui and all of you managed to kill countless others, and brought all of them back to safety. Thank you –all of you- for assisting us in this, for fulfilling Clow Reed's final wish.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Day 2 was much bearable, because it was the day Fai's surgery was complete.

"It was a success. At first we were afraid that he might be gone with the state he was brought in," laughed the doctor. "But then he reacted very well to various things and now he's fine, but…"

"But what?" he asked frantically. No, not another but… this better not be something bad… Subaru was biting his nails beside him, Kamui had his palms clenched.

"The blow had damaged a part of his brain, and he's suffering from amnesia, or like we call it memory loss. We don't know how serious it is, but the X-Rays showed that the damage is just too much. The memory loss would be permanent."

He swore he heard a crack after that sentence. Was it his heart breaking, or all of theirs?

He didn't remember what happened afterwards. He was lost in his own thoughts.

How would he deal… if Fai didn't remember him, his love, and the moments they've spent together? …Kurogane didn't believe he would deal with it every well. It would break his heart completely. Fai not remembering him… those questioning and empty eyes…

_At least, _he thought. _If Fai truly forgets me… at least he wouldn't be able to remember what pain he has been through, the pain that I caused._

He remembered seeing Fai, looking so thin and fragile on the large bed. Drips and tubes connected to his wrist and nose, his head bandaged so heavily. The thin frame looked so broken and weak and vulnerable on the bed, and his body was so pale that it looked almost like a corpse. And Kurogane remembered when he had touched Fai's hand, that it was cold like a corpse too. He encompassed the small hand in his, and held it tightly.

"Please wake up…" he whispered, holding the hand tighter in his own. "Please remember…" And all this had to happen, because of a stupid wish of a dying man. He rather had things making absolutely no sense in his life than having Fai forgetting everything and everyone he loved, even if it wasn't many, even if nobody cared.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Day 3, Fai was still unconscious.

He had spent the whole day in Fai's room. He hadn't eaten anything since and was reluctant to leave Fai alone anymore. He didn't want to lose his precious one ever, ever again, especially when he came so close of losing him completely. His mind was in disarray; thoughts of fai never remembering for the rest of his existence was heartbreaking. He imagined those eyes… those eyes that used to be full of so much pain… completely empty…

"You know, Fai would be devastated if you starve yourself to death like this."

He turned his head in a very calm and slow way. It was Subaru, standing beside the door, holding a bowl in his left arm.

"… How's your brother?"

"Ah," he shrugged, entering the room. "We had a little chat, you know, yelling and crying and slapping, but everything worked out fine. At least… I get to see him again… But don't change the subject. Eat." He shoved the bowl of food his arms. "You wouldn't want to die because of him, now, do you? Fai wouldn't want you to die on his behalf."

Kurogane eyed him suspiciously, stared at the food like it was talking to him before taking a spoonful of it. Something on the bed caught his eyes and he turned his head around. Fai remained where he was, fast asleep. Kurogane sighed; it could just be his imagination.

"… What… would you do, if- if Fai ended up forgetting us?" he managed shakily between gulps of food. Subaru handed him a glass of water with a very sad look.

"… … I would be devastated. We care about Fai, even Kamui does, he just doesn't admit it. I thought- I thought the loss of Ashura was bad enough… but now…" He went silent, unable to speak anymore.

They remained like this, in this comforting sound of silence. It wasn't until Kurogane finished his food (it was damn tasty by the way. He wondered who made it.) did Subaru spoke again, carefully.

"Thank you… for loving Fai, for taking care for him… for putting his safety and happiness before your own well-being…" He gazed up at Kurogane, guilt and tears in his eyes. "You loved him truly like none of us did. We would never have done what you did out of fear. We're… unworthy, you can say, to have such a lovely boy in our lives. You deserve him. Maybe… if he did forget about us… it's the payback for causing so much damage to him, looking after ourselves more than him, when he was only a child… our responsibility…" He stood up, tears running down his face, and to Kurogane's surprise, he hugged him.

"… Thank you…"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Day 4, Fai hasn't awakened.

This time, he wasn't so foolish to forget about himself. He didn't want to bring Fai more pain by not taking care of himself. So after lunch, on the way back to Fai's room and saw the boy and Sakura standing behind the closed door, fidgeting.

"What are you doing?" he said gruffly, and the both of them jumped. The two kids spun around together, taking deep gulps of breaths. "K-Kurogane… san…"

"What do you want? Are those flowers for… Fai?" he asked. Man, it felt weird hearing Fai's name coming out from his mouth.

"Er… erm, er, y-yeah." The boy stammered, and bowed. "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself. My name is Syaoran. Li Syaoran." Kurogane nodded, opened the door and entered, the kids not far behind him. Sakura was on the verge of tears when she saw Fai; Even Syaoran's face was scrunched up in pain. Apparently, the whole event had finally been explained to each other.

"He's… he's alright, right?"

Kurogane hesitated, before nodding. Both children sighed in relief before placing their flowers on the table beside his bed. Sakura leaned forward and gently kissed Fai's forehead (or rather bandage). "Get well soon," she whispered, before turning to Kurogane, her face completely red.

"And erm… this is for you," she said shakily, presenting a very pretty flower.

… What kind of pansy do they **think** he is?

But since it was a sincere gesture from the girl, Kurogane took the flower. He would have to transfer the sincerity of this flower to something much more manly and discard of this. Oh… if his boss _ever_ saw this…

"Erm, this is all we have to say," Sakura continued, her face completely red. "Goodbye, Kurogane-san." The both of them bowed, before hurrying out of the room.

A thought occurred in his brain.

"Kid?"

Syaoran froze in place before slowly turning to him. "Yes, Kurogane-san?" he asked. There was a hint of fear in his voice.

"Come here for a while."

He obeyed. Syaoran stood before him, head bowed, silent.

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you work for the Mafia? I heard it from the girl's story, but I want to hear your answer."

Syaoran bowed his head in shame. It was a while before he spoke.

"I… I just couldn't let Sakura live like this… I- erm- I care about her. I- I just, I can't let her continue living like this…" The boy blushed, out of shame or awkwardness he didn't know. Kurogane stared at the boy, and he couldn't help but associate him of his younger self. A desperate person, doing anything just to be able to help and take care of the one they loved… He did it because of Sakura, just as Kurogane did for Tomoyo. They did it for their precious ones. Both with equal goals and determination to do what their hearts told them to.

A resolution dug deep within him and he whipped out his wallet, searching.

"Erm… Kurogane-san?"

Yes, a cheque of 30,000 yen. It was the largest sum of cheque he got. He handed it to the boy, who stared at it and, after comprehending that this was money before him, started to stammer.

"K-Kurogane-san! No! No- I mean, it's not that we don't want it- no, it's- well- I mean- we can't just _take_ it-"

"You did and you will, and you can have it as long as you promise me not to return to the Mafia, or do anything as stupid as that again." _Don't repeat the mistake I made._

Syaoran stared up at him, worry, guilt, hope and want shining in his eyes as he held the cheque. Kurogane ruffled his hair playfully. "Don't do stupid things. Don't hurt countless others at the expense of the people you hold dear, before your past deeds haunt you. There are other ways to protect the one you love."

There were tears in the boy's eyes, before he jumped on the red-eyed man and gave him a tight hug. Blushing, he quickly let go and bowed, an almost inaudible word of "Thank you, Kurogane-san" was spoken before he hurried away.

… He must really be getting soft. Getting hug every single day was certainly a bad sign. Especially to his pride.

Speaking of which, there's still the flower problem to be solved.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Day 5, still nothing.

Fai remained unconscious on the bed. His skin has regained some color back, and his injuries were healing well, but he was **still** unconscious. A disturbing thought surfaced to the front of Kurogane's mind. What if Fai remained like this forever? What if he never woke up again? Shivers went down his spine.

_Hey, if he were to drop into a coma, the doctor would have told you about it, _his rational mind said.

_What if he lied?_

_What do they have to gain by lying? Besides, they promised: all the questions will be answered._

_Just because they say all the questions will be answered doesn't mean they won't hide a few things to themselv-_

"K-Kuro…?"

…

No.

Did he just…

He rushed to the blonde's side, heart pounding in fear and hope. _Please… please, let it be-_ He froze when he saw Fai's eyes, open and alive and _remembering_.

He remembered him. He remembered his name.

Kurogane was by his side in an instant. The blonde was probably stronger than the past few days, but Kurogane could see that he was still extremely weak. "Hush," he whispered, stroking Fai's beautiful face. Though weak and pale, Fai still looked like an angel from the heavens. Fai closed his eyes and moaned, shivering in response.

"Cold…" he moaned weakly, leaning closer to Kurogane. The man picked him up gently and carefully, cradling him in his arms, letting the head lie on his chest. Fai wasn't kidding: His skin was cold, though not as cold as the past few days. The blonde continued shivering in the warm embrace for a while, before falling asleep, face contorted in discomfort.

Kurogane held Fai, his lover, even in sleep, hoping and hoping that he would get better, holding him through the day, through night; as sunlight faded, as stars invaded the night sky, until the moment dawn arrived.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Day 6, Fai didn't wake up, so Kurogane occupied his time by interrogating the doctor.

"I'm sure of it, look!" The doctor slammed a black and white picture in his face. "Just look at it yourself! The hippocampus was damaged by that blow! It isn't so clear since we don't have the best X-Ray machine in the world, but any doctor could tell you that there is a significant damage to the hippocampus in the brain!" he said exasperatedly, pointing to a spot in the picture.

"Then why does he remember me? He saw me yesterday and he called me by my name!" he retorted.

"How am I supposed to know? I told you: we don't know the severity of his amnesia! He might have forgotten his whole life and himself, or maybe he just forgotten what happened the day you saved him!" the man almost shouted, face expressing deep annoyance.

"He's telling the truth, you know"

Kamui stood behind them, eyes bored and lazy as his lanky figure leaned against the door. Kurogane hissed and stomped off, and chunked the stupid picture in the bin.

… What was going on in here? The blonde couldn't have uttered his name by accident… right?

_There are some things only the subconscious remembers and not the conscious._

Kurogane really hoped this wasn't one of those things.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Day 7, a Goddamn week. There had been fights and stuff going on about cleaning and hiding the Mafia and work to do, but Kurogane paid no attention to it.

It had been a whole fucking week without hearing Fai's voice, without his smile; real or not, to see him moving and living the life he had or wanted. He could only cling to the last words before the night he vanished.

"_Save me. Protect me. Don't abandon me."_

He gazed at the broken form on the bed, a terrible ache threatening to tear open his heart. Gently and uncertainly, he lifted him from the bed and held him, placing countless kisses on his face and neck.

"I will protect you, forever. Even if you might forget and never love me, I will never abandon you, never again."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Day 8, Kurogane finally retired to his bed. He woke up at noon and got dressed, before striding towards the room he had slept in the past week, breakfast in hand. What he saw made him jumped.

Fai was on the bed, groaning and rubbing his eyes. He was still too weak to sit up properly, but at least he was moving. He dropped the bowl he was holding, allowing it to crash unceremoniously on the ground. The lithe man gazed up, confused at first, before a wide grin spread across his face, lighting up his whole face completely.

"Kuro-chan!" he exclaimed happily, reaching out his arms to Kurogane, kicking his legs impatiently. Surprised and happy as well, said man rushed to his side and in an instant, Fai threw his arms around the other shoulders and crushed their lips together, kissing him hungrily. The gruff man kissed him back as desperately and passionately, conveying his longing and loves to the blonde through this warm, intimate moment. Fai moaned into the kiss, darting his tongue into his mouth, leaning closer to the warm body. The kiss was long and wet with the addition of mouth exploring, and they finally separated for air.

"Oh, Kuro-wan! It seemed like such a long time since I last saw you!" he exclaimed happily, hugging Kurogane tightly. "But… can you explain to me what happened? I don't remember it very well," Fai said, giving Kurogane a bright, warm and innocent smile.

… Something was wrong.

"You don't remember? About what happened?" Kurogane asked cautiously, trying to sound as casual as possible. Fai was… being too honest, too… real than usual. Something had happened. Of course, he was immensely glad that the blonde had remembered him, but…

"Well…" Fai became thoughtful, his blue eyes gazing into space with confusion. "I really don't. I can't remember any of it. Maybe I passed out or something, I don't know," he said casually, shrugging in response, before another smile took place on his face, a real smile as he gazed into red. "Well, you can tell me, can you? I know I can trust my little Kuro-pan!" he laughed gently.

_**Trust**__…? Since when did he-_

At that exact moment, two figures appeared at the door. The brothers were on their daily visits again. Upon seeing Fai, smiling and well on the bed, Kamui lost his voice and dignity, gaping at him wide-mouthed for a moment, and Subaru just stared. Fai, in turn, stared confusedly at them.

"Oh, Fai!" Subaru whispered, rushing and throwing his arms around him. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

But Fai continued staring at him questioningly.

"Who are you?"

* * *

**Wahahahaha! Suffer from the knowledge of not knowing! Ahahahahaha… There are only two or three chapters left of this story. *sob* And the whole thing is probably going to end by the end of this month. *sniff sniff sob* But I shall not tell you what is wrong with Fai! Ahahahaha-coughcoughhackwheezesplutter…**


	20. Chapter 20

**Ahahahahaha! Has the torture of the wait been enough? Well, here's a new chapter! It's shorter than the last few though.  
**

… **ENOUGH OF DISCLAIMERS!**

* * *

"_Who are you?"_

The smile on Subaru's face vanished in an instant. Kamui – for once- lost his expressionless face and regarded Fai with wide eyes filled shock and disbelief. Kurogane stood staring at Fai. Even though he had expected things to be this bad, he would never anticipate the blonde having _absolutely no idea _towards people he once loved more than him.

Fai, on the other hand, just tilted his head towards the side in a cute way, his eyes twinkling and sparkling with a child's curiosity. "Hm? Do I know you?" he asked innocently, not knowing every single one of his words was like knives, stabbing again and again into the two visitors' chest.

They stood there, speechless. Unbeknownst to Fai, the atmosphere was completely tense. It was as if someone had thrown dead bodies into the room and chucked it into the freezer to die. All three of them froze on their spots, before Subaru, tears lining his eyes, dashed out of the room.

Ice.

Frozen.

_Dead._

The world would never be the same again.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Kuro-chi?"

Kurogane turned to the blonde without a response. For some reason, he looked worried and on the verge of tears. Has he remembered? The moment when those two…

"Did I do something bad?"

Not a chance.

Kurogane sighed. The moment Subaru bolted out of the room, Kamui followed suit a few seconds later. The twins probably locked themselves in their room now, crying and pissed off respectively. Oh, yes. You've done some great damage. I know it isn't your fault but how could you not remember them I know you remember mer and I'm actually very glad about it but it's impossible for you to forget those two since they were among the only people who cared about you in your supposedly world of pain and suffering. For a moment, those words coming out of his mouth became unbearable for a second at everything that has happened…

"No, you didn't."

"Then why do the two of them look so upset? Have I… done something bad?" Those blue eyes were starting to fill with a new emotion: fear.

It reminded Kurogane so much of a child.

"No, you didn't," Kurogane repeated firmly. "You just look like someone he treasured quite a long time ago. Someone… who died just recently."

Fai stared at him blankly. "Oh," he whispered, and lowered his head. Underneath the blonde locks Kurogane knew grief and guilt was hidden. Fai always blamed himself for what happened, and he cared deeply for others more than he cared for himself.

… Even though with lost memories, Fai's true nature hasn't changed.

"Kuro-wa?" A soft voice asked. He turned to him questioningly.

"What… happened? I… don't remember. I mean, how did I get here? Why does my head hurt? Why are there blank spots in my head?" he moaned, falling back to the pillows, rubbing his temples. "My head hurts…"

Kurogane wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him everything, about Ashura, about Subaru, the Mafia, everything. But he didn't have the heart to see him cry again. He sat at the side of Fai's bed, and stroked his face gently.

"It's… hard to explain," he whispered. "This can wait. You need to rest now. I'll explain it to you once you wake up again."

Fai grabbed Kurogane hand weakly. "You'll… stay?" he muttered, slurring. Sleep was starting to get the better of him. Kurogane nodded, wrapping his hand around the smaller one. Fai gave a little smile before falling asleep.

_Why was a part of him feeling so sad?_

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Subaru's been crying."

"Hmph," he replied, knowing the witch was behind him. Not that he cared, but somehow he just needed someone… there. He'd been sitting here for hours, and longed for a distraction. Funny, how the few words of a man could bring such weight upon their shoulders. He stared at the blonde, who looked so innocent on the bed.

"Something's wrong, isn't there?" she asked, her face lacking the usual all-so-knowing smirk.

"…"

"Well, what is it?"

"… The idiot doesn't remember Subaru or Kamui, nor do I think he remembers what happened to him or his past." For once, he decided to reply honestly in a sentence without curses and obscenities. He needed an opinion, or some form of comfort. Yes, he admitted it. He needed to be comforted.

"And he remembers you?" she asked, her tone slightly amusing. Kurogane had the urge to punch her in the face, but decided against it. "Hmph," was all he replied. How could she catch on so fast?!

"So shouldn't you be happy?"

Kurogane didn't reply immediately, but turned to face the woman. "I was the root for most of his pain, and yet he remembers me. Those two doesn't deserve that kind of pain. He should remember them, not me; especially since the two of them had loved him so deeply, and him them," he said, letting a slight note of desperation slip out from him. Fai wasn't supposed to remember him! It should have been the others, people like Ashura, who deserved him.

Damn that stupid man and his dying wish.

"It proves how much Fai loved you more than the others."

… What?

"What did you just say?" No, it can't be right. The moment Fai found out he was the one who forced him into the Mafia in the first place, he went crazy and even a blind, old man can see how much he hated him by then. It was impossible.

"The blow Fai took must have been hard if it could wipe away his memory to such degree. But then, his remembering you means that his love towards you is far stronger than he had from all the others. He might not remember you completely, but he- and his heart as well- would tell him how important you are to him, and this kind of love, is powerful enough to let him remember you."

"How could he love me, after he knew what I've done?" he muttered miserably, hoping he could turn back time and erase the sins he had committed.

"Because he trusts you," said Yuuko simply. "You treated him as an equal, something nobody in his life ever had." She met those red eyes gently but firmly. "Even though the three of them loved and cared for him, they treated him more like a defenseless child than someone in their line. That, of course, can't be avoided since they were his caregivers, and loved him like parents loving a child, and there are times when they are not ready to let him go. Fai might have been frustrated at them treating him as a child even if his mental capacity is beyond that, and that, above all, upsets him because they don't know how much he is capable of and thus his worth," she stated flatly. "You treated him as an equal, as an adult, with respect and admiration, showed him a kind of love which he could control and give back equally with similar capabilities, and as an adult with absolutely no friends, that kind of respect means the world to him."

Kurogane gaped at the woman. _What the hell… _"But he loves them. They love him too! And you didn't see how obsessed that idiot was when we came looking for Ashura. All he thought and cared about was finding Ashura and rescuing him. Subaru and Kamui might mean something to him, but Ashura was someone special. Do you think he would actually forget him so easily?" he snapped.

Yuuko sighed. "I can't answer all your questions, Kurogane. I don't know myself. Ashura is linked to Fai's past, and it's been a long time since he last saw from him, heard his voice, even if he did meet him recently, but that's only a few weeks. Ashura, Subaru and Kamui are his past, a distant memory, whereas you're something new, the present. People are more likely to remember present things clearer than things in the past. He might end up remembering everything and everyone again, none of us know what would happen. But at least for now," she regarded the sleeping blonde sadly. "He's happy." She lifted her head and gazed into his. "Don't you think that's enough?"

Kurogane didn't reply. He just held the blonde's hand tighter.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The next day, when dawn broke, Fai woke up and started pouring him with questions.

"Kuro-rin, what happened? Why am I here? What happened? Is this a hospital? Why does my head hurt? Is that a pink shirt you're wearing? Who are those people before? Where's the doctor? Where the hell are we anyway?"

Kurogane blinked once. Twice. Thrice. He took a deep breath, and just when his mind was trying to come up with a good lie, Kamui stepped in, face stoic as usual. Unlike the other day, he was wearing a doctor's suit (it really looked like Fai's chemistry labcoat) and was holding a clipboard in his hand. He regarded Fai with a serious look, before breaking into one of those cheap, fake smiles Fai always wore.

"I'm doctor Kamui, and you're in the private home of your boss, Yuuko Ichihara, do you remember?" he asked politely. The situation didn't need an expert to know that Kamui's making up a story and coming to his rescue, probably on Yuuko's orders or something, he didn't know.

Fai made a confused expression, his lips pursued in concentration. "Yuuko Ichihara… Ichihara… I think I remember a name like that… is it a woman with long hair and smokes a pipe?" he asked, staring curiously at Kamui.

The man felt a pang in his chest at the innocent look Fai gave him before answering. "Yes, that's her. She's your employer. You and the staff of Horitsuba Gakuen were on a holiday in Italy until some crazy guy hit you with a pole on your head. You were seriously injured and sent to my house by Yuuko since it was nearby," he explained, trying to convey some sincerity through his usually ignorant eyes.

"Oh," the blonde blinked, his large blue eyes staring at Kamui. "Oh," he repeated, hanging his head, shoulders shaking slightly. For a moment, the doctor's eyes soften, and stared at Fai with a sort of longing and sorrow Kurogane understood. The feeling of wanting to hold someone so close, yet so far, knowing the person would never be with him; that they were never meant to be together.

"I… think I'll leave now," he said quietly, looking at Kurogane before leaving the room. The message in his eyes was clear.

_Take care of him._

Kurogane continued staring at where Kamui was moments ago, a pained look on his face. The world was just so unfair. Why couldn't people enjoy happiness just once? Both twins weren't some kind of sick bastard like Fei Wong, and they were sent to a worse fate than his. It was simply cruel. He turned his attention away from the door to the blonde, and was confused when Fai regarded him with a strange look.

"What?" he asked, irritated.

"It's strange, Kuro-wan…" he said, his eyes focusing on something beyond the tall man. "I can't seem to remember a lot of stuff… Don't you think it's weird?" he asked with a quizzical look on his face. Said man just couldn't… didn't dare answer and chose to remain silent. Thankfully, Fai was too absorbed in his own thoughts to actually expect an answer from him.

"But… I guess it's still okay, right? I mean, this is normal after an accident, right?" he stared at his lover with those achingly beautiful eyes. "I… I think I understand, but it's alright." Suddenly, a real, bright smile lit up his whole face, and for the moment, the blonde actually looked 10 years younger than the man had ever seen him. "As long as I have Kuro-sama with me…" He leaned up and wrapped his arms around the man, holding him tightly and breathing in his warmth, sighing peacefully with a very small smile on his face.

"I'm content."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

For the next few days, everything proceeded calmly. Fai was mostly asleep and never asked any questions about the 'black spots' in his memories, too happy to even care about it. Kurogane spend most of the time in his lover's room, unwilling to part with him again, watching and guarding his beloved. The mysterious twins were mysteriously out of sight for the past few days, and the mood in the house suddenly turned… cold. It seemed the others, too, were mourning for the dead and lost memories…

The red-eyed man sighed and ran his fingers over the blonde's blood stained hair. His injuries had healed rapidly over the past few days, and for that he was thankful. He was thankful Fai is alive, thankful that he still remembers him, love him, and that he can hold him whenever he pleased. Heck, he might even accept being glomped by the little man everyday than not.

Sighing again, he stood up and headed for the kitchen, thirsty for water. It was late at night, but Kurogane wasn't going to break his promise. He swore to protect the moron, and he will, until he was capable of protecting himself. Besides, he might wake up in the middle of the night and start whining about being thirsty and hungry again.

And so, he walked into the hall to the kitchen, passing the living room and the twins…

Wait. The twins.

What the fuck are they doing this late at night?

"Oops, looks like we got caught, dear brother," a small and airy voice whispered in the dark.

His eyes long used to the dark, the tall man could see Kamui's outline as he turned around, his golden eyes glaring at him. Subaru was beside him, and they were both wearing coats, like they were about to leave. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a few lumps of objects that looked vaguely like luggage. Narrowing his eyes, he spoke in a rough tone.

"Where are you going?"

"None of your business. Now leave us alone," Kamui hissed, his own eyes narrowing, clearly pissed off at the intrusion.

"It is my business if you're planning to leave Fai here all alone," Kurogane countered.

Silence.

They stared at each other, Kurogane glaring at the two suspiciously. However, instead of glaring back, Kamui closed his eyes gently and guilt radiate from every single corner of his pale skin. Seeing that his brother was refusing to explain, Subaru opted to speak.

"We're leaving," he whispered, staring at Kurogane desperately.

"He needs you," Kurogane stated flatly.

"He doesn't even remember us," Subaru spat, his temper rising a little.

"What if he remembers one day? Are you going to just run away and hide from him?" he barked, voice rising.

"Then give us a call," a hollow, annoyed voice interjected, and Kurogane found himself catching something in mid air. A card with a number on it. He lifted his head and stared at them, trying to convey his question through his red eyes.

_Why? Why are you doing this? Why can't you stay?_

"Fai's life with us… had been terrible," Kamui admitted. "We saw him cry, he heard him scream and we could see how he struggled desperately with his emotions and reality. Fai… was not made to have a life like this, and remember that we are partly responsible for his pain."

"I am too," Kurogane muttered dejectedly.

"But he loves you." The gruff man realized that it was Subaru who said it, eyes glittering with something akin to jealousy.

"He loves you, and that made all the difference in the world between us. We are guilty men, and yet his love towards you was enough for him to keep going. From what I heard from you, he never tried attempting suicide after meeting you, something he never did stop no matter how much we beg him. You, by just being there and existing, had given him hope that he could love, and this hope drove him to keep living. You want the prove? He remembers you even though he got he's head smashed so badly! By forgetting everyone else, he remembers you and your love perhaps not from his mind but his body! He loves you so much he just can't forget you!" Subaru almost shouted in the end, notes of hysterics in his voice. He hung his head sadly, and Kurogane felt a pang of guilt in his heart. After a long while, the kind man lifted his head again and stared, emotions roiling in his eyes: happiness, despair, anger, hope, thankfulness… so many.

"We're not the ones who were meant to be in his life. All he can associate his life with us is hell. You were the one he was waiting for. You **are** his life. He needs you, more than he needs us. Heal him; take care of him for us. Even if we want him… we're just not meant to be. Our fates were connected, but never intertwined." He didn't even notice Kamui opening the door. A cold chill ran down his spine as the harsh wind outside beat against his skin, but neither of them seemed scared about him.

"Love him. Care of him. Cherish him, and never, _ever_, let him go." The last words were whispered against the howling wind, and the both of them stepped out into the misty world ahead. Kurogane tried to move. He really did, but his feet were stubborn.

He saw them, tears in their eyes and sad smiles on their faces, footsteps retreating, their backs hunching into the dreadful cold outside. He could see their bodies and luggage in the darkness swallowing them, slowly, it just became an outline, and then…

_Nothing._

They were gone.

* * *

**Dooooooone! I'm sorry for the lateness of the chapter, but this story is going to end really soon. The next chapter is just a sweet and cute little chapter of their lives after a while and then comes the big epilogue (well, not really big, considering this really isn't some kind of A Class story XP). So I'm pretty sure this story is going to end by the end of January. See you next Sunday!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Greetings! I am baaaaaaaaaack! Sorry for the late update! I was so busy during the Chinese New Year! For a change and thanks for putting up with all the sadness and angst and boredom, here's a fluffy chapter for a change! Angst-free! **

…

* * *

"Syaaaaaaaaaaaaoran-kuuuuuuuuuun! Saaaaaakuuuuuuraaaaaaaa-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! Breakfast!" Fai hollered from below. Sakura bolted upright in surprise while Syaoran groaned. He hated the wake-up calls. It was like having someone playing an electric guitar in your ears. Opting for the wiser choice (in his opinion), the boy pressed pillows to his ears, successfully blocking out all noises. Ah, sweet, sweet, blissful silence.

…

"SYAAAAAAAAOOOOORAAAAAAAAAN_KUUUUUUUUUN!" The sound of a door crashing and the devil's shrilly voice bombarded his ears. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUUUP! DIDN'T YOU HEAR MY WAKE-UP CALL?!" Distinctively, he could hear a tiny and timid voice further away, but didn't bother to wonder who it was.

"Nngh! One more minute!" he groaned indignantly, trying to swap the annoying fly away. Of course, everyone knows that if he tried, Fai can be a pain in the ass, literally.

"Oho! Is that so?" Syaoran opened an eye and the blonde's mischievous face filled his vision. Fuck it. What now? "Then I guess I'll just call daddy to wake you up!" Fai took a deep breath, ready to issue another loud call at the other side of the house. Syaoran bolted upright in precisely 0.0001 milliseconds, sweat beading down his forehead. "No!" he yelled, seizing his 'mother's' hand, begging with his eyes. Both Sakura and he have been through Kurogane's wake up calls. It was like being in the military: having the sound of a voice amplified ten times its usual range at 5 o' clock in the morning. That's why Fai had banned him from issuing any wake up calls since then, but Syaoran was willing to bet he'd use that as a secret weapon any day.

Fai grinned at the extreme reaction of his adopted son. Poor Syaoran-kun, he must make sure to scold Kurogane later for mentally scarring both his children. "Since you're awake now, go join Sakura for breakfast and bathe. We're going out!"

"But where? It's only 7:30 in the morning!" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"We're going for a picnic!" Fai exclaimed, gracefully twirling in the room.

"What?" Syaoran blinked. Now that surprised him. A picnic? He heard people in school discussing abou it often, but the boy himself had never been to one, though it sounded like a very pleasant experience.

"Yes, now hurry up! We don't have all day!" A gentle smile crept to his face. "I'm not very sure how picnics are supposed to be like, but Kuro-wan thought you two might like it." With that, the man skipped away from the room and down the stairs, humming quietly.

Syaoran stared after him. Even though it had been almost half a year, the boy still couldn't get used to seeing Fai the way he is now. Sure, he was kind and motherly, a wonderful guardian to have that cared and taught them so much, but this man was completely different from the Fai he had once known, even if it was only for a few weeks spent in a cell.

The man was dark, far darker than he was now. He was quiet, filled with the worst secrets anyone could ever have, though he didn't know what. He was obsessed; his goal of saving Ashura clouded everything else. He was pale, unreal, sad, furious, and at times where he thought nobody was looking at him, he looked on the verge of tears. And he definitely wasn't innocent.

He was dark. He was mysterious. He was a completely different person. He wasn't _happy_.

But this Fai was the polar opposite of the one he met months ago. Of course, he'd been told what had happened. He, too, mourned for the loss of a man he once worked together with whom he once shared unspoken conversations at night, pouring their secrets to the other through the silence at night. He missed the old Fai. The both of them shared secrets and pains that made them equals, despite of the age difference. For once, he wasn't the only one protecting. He'd found another protector who had suffered, and even though they rarely spoke to each other, he became a first and wonderful companion for him. Syaoran knew he was being selfish, and that he should be happy for that the man had finally found peace and happiness in his life, but he wished he could turn back time to get to know more about the man himself. It was like dying and being born a second time.

Sighing, Syaoran ran a hand along his hair and strode down the stairs, a kind of longing building up deep inside his chest. A longing to see Sakura – beautiful, sweet Sakura-, the one whom he'll put his life on line for, his most precious person, the one whom he met in the streets from the day he remembered being alive.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"I told you, I am **not** eating this sugary crap!" Kurogane pouted, crossing his arms like a spoiled child. He was offered the most disgusting breakfast he ever had in his life.

Peanut-butter and jelly sandwich.

It was the utmost insult to his pride he had come across throughout his entire life. His mother had never even gone so low even when he was a kid.

"Awwwwww! But Kuro-chi! I made this meal specifically for you!" whined the blonde, grabbing his arm and pouting. "Pwwweeeeeeease! At least take a bite! I want my Kuro-pon to taste the sweetness of children's breakfast!"

"I told you, I am not eating this stupid meal!" he yelled, the finality in his voice firm and unwavering. This only caused Fai to pout in a cuter way. "And none of your puppy faces are going to change my mind," he added hastily.

"Oh, really?" The blonde man asked slyly as an evil idea popped into his head. Oh, Kurogane was going to have his head for this. Gently and swiftly, he slipped his hand into the larger man's pants, smirking. "No sex for you for a whole month if you don't eat this thing," he whispered into his lover's ear. Kurogane's face turned red in a millisecond.

"Wh-what?!" he spluttered, his blush deepening. "What do you think you're talking a-" His roar was interrupted by something being shoved into his mouth. He choked and gagged on the food, but with much 'help' from Fai, managed to swallow it whole. The gruff man gasped, precious air filling his lungs. That, was the most disgusting food he had ever tasted.

'WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!" he yelled, face growing red again. Fai giggled. His lover always looked cute when he was embarrassed or angry, a perfect reason to annoy the heck out of him.

"Why, I just saved you from the condemnation of not being in the position to fuck me!" he said dramatically like he had saved a man from eternal doom as he leered inches away from Kurogane's face. "Why, I'm sure you won't be able to last a day, and I don't think you would like to be interrupted during masturbation, do you?" Thank God the kids are in their showers.

"WHAAAAAT?!" Alright, that's it. Sexy and hot and adorable as he was, Kurogane would kill the stupid idiot and cook him alive (depending on which one suited his mood). He reached for his sword with an evil gleam in his eyes.

"I saved you from eternal condemnation and this is the thanks I get?" Fai screeched unsuccessful as he was overcome by giggles. Kurogane just glared at him.

"I am going to chop you into pieces you bastard!" he yelled at the top of his lungs before surging towards the blonde.

"Aaaaaah! Help! Help! Domestic abuse!" Fai laughed airily as he ran, his bad-tempered lover only a distance away.

"I'll teach you domestic abuse!"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

After much chasing and yells and awkward moments, the little family finally departed. They were heading for a valley, and then they had to trek across the green fields towards the top and spend the whole day there. Syaoran thought it would be nice. Sakura was overjoyed at the decision. Fai planned to do something dirty there. Kurogane was sure he would bore to death.

The time they drove to the valley was the worst hour of Kurogane's life. Fai was singing at the top of his lungs, Sakura kept asking when they would arrive and Syaoran… well, was having car-sick. The man had to suppress countless urges to jump off the car and run home. When they finally arrived, he was finally released into the blissful morning air and the scent of Sakuras. Spring was the best time of the year in Japan, no matter what.

The soft breeze calmed him immediately. Breathing in the scent of peace relaxed him and saved him from the torture he was forced to face the past hour. The air was cool and the scenery was very calming. Unlike in the city, the countryside of Japan was beautiful. He could see the green grass from here, stretching endlessly from view. The sky was so blue, but it couldn't compare with Fai's eyes, so bright and radiant and happy all the time. Heck, those eyes were able to make him content during his worst days in Horitsuba.

They trekked far up the mountain, the red-eyed man yet treated like a slave by carrying the picnic bag all the way up. Not that he couldn't carry it of course; he just didn't like to be treated like a slave. Five minutes passed silently until the blonde man crashed faced down to the ground.

"I'm tiiiiiired…" he whined. Kurogane rolled his eyes. "Quit being a pansy. We've been walking for only five minutes," he said exasperatedly.

"Five minutes work, five minutes rest. Life's all about balance, right?" Fai countered, turning over so that he was lying on the ground facing his lover. "C'mon kids! Let's rest. I'm sure Sakura-chan must be tired, huh?"

"Tch," Kurogane scoffed. "I bet she has more stamina than you have!" The statement caused Sakura to blush with pride. After being with them for so long, the girl knew when and how Kurogane expressed his feelings about them. The ways he expressed them was awkward, but both Sakura and Syaoran knew that the words came deep from his heart.

"Waaaaaaaah!" Fake tears streamed down Fai's cheeks as he hugged Sakura, sobbing loudly. Without looking at the other man, he pointed a finger accusingly at him. "Daddy's being a big old meanie! He's such a bully!" he howled, sobbing into his 'daughter's' shoulder. Poor Sakura looked as if she would like to disappear from this world and Syaoran glared at him with a 'how-dare-you-touch-my-Sakura' look. Kurogane looked at the mess and thought of suicide.

With a loud growl, he turned and continued trekking upwards. Staying with a demented idiot with a possessive kid and a constantly blushing girl was **not** good for his overall mental health.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Neh, Kuro-chan… Are you still angry at me?" A perky but worried voice invaded his ears. Well, he wasn't surprised. They've been trekking for an hour now, resting a few times along the way and yet the red-eyed man had not uttered a single word, despite the efforts of the blonde and children.

"Hmph," he grunted, his eyes closed. He wasn't really angry anymore, but he didn't want to give his lover the satisfaction of getting away with everything all the time. Suddenly, he felt a pair of arms wrapping around his waist as something warm and soft rested itself on his chest.

"I'm sorry…" a soft voice whispered, and to Kurogane's horror, it sounded like Fai was about to cry. Gently, he wrapped his arms around the man and cradled him, opening his eyes in time to see Fai shifting to lift his face. Worried blue orbs with glassy lining shone the blonde's sincerity. That was all Fai had been after the incident more than half a year ago. Unlike his older self, he never lied or was ever dishonest with others or himself. Everything about him became human and real. "Please don't be mad…"

No matter how much he tried to cover his own feelings, as the old Fai had done (guess some habits just can't be changed), he knew the blonde always cared. Even though he acted oblivious to his emotions and seemed to try to annoy the hell out of him, Fai had always cared about his feelings and well-being, just as he did with the kids.

"Idiot," he muttered, stroking Fai's hair affectionately. "Don't annoy me in the first place if you don't want me mad. Just promise me you won't do it again." Fai nodded weakly, clinging onto Kurogane with a weak smile on his face. Shyly, he lifted his head and kissed the other man's lips. It wasn't passionate or desperate like the ones they have during sex; it was gentle and loving, filled with unspoken emotions.

… Which reminded him.

"Oi," he said, looking around. "Where are the kids?"

"They wanted to take a look at the view at the top of the hill. We estimated it to be a 10 minute walk from here, so it's not too far ahead," he said, snuggling into Kurogane's embrace. "Don't worry Kuro-pon. They'll be back!" he said teasingly, kissing the other man again, resting warmly against his chest. His lover was so warm and comfy…

"Tch, like I care about them," he growled, eyes darting away from the smaller man in his arms, knowing his eyes would hold that teasing glint of 'denial-freak'. They remained like this, in each other's arms as a soft breeze whispered by. Fai was almost asleep when he heard a voice.

"Would you… like to see the view? At sunset?" The blonde shot his head up in surprise. Kurogane was staring at him seriously (which was very rare) and was it the light or was his face turning redder and redder every second?

One second…

A minute…

"W-well, aren't you suppose to be answering?!" spluttered Kurogane, his face now redder than a tomato. Instead of teasing, Fai gave him a dazzling, genuine smile from deep inside his heart. It was unlike those smirks he gave when teasing his lover; this smile came from the warmth radiating from the very core of his living being.

"Yes," he whispered, tightening his hold on the other man. "Yes."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Hours passed as they ate and played on the field, the vastness littered with teasing, laughter, half-hearted yells and chases, intertwined hands, kisses, games and the smell of sugar.

"Kuro-rin." Said man turned around to see Fai tugging on his shirt incessantly. "It's time." He pointed to the sky and Kurogane could see between the clouds were a touch of pink. Sunset was arriving.

"C'mon," he signaled the kids to follow as he began trekking upwards. "You lead the way."

As they walked further upwards, the pink began spreading into the darker corners of the sky and through the clouds. By the time the small family reached the top, the sky was already separated into two: one filled with beautiful, velvet golden rays and the other a mix of blue, pink and purple as it stretch across the end of the world.

But the view was **amazing**.

Stretching shamelessly a distance away were other beautiful mountains, all of them taller than the one they are on now. Many had trees and fields on them, and Fai could still see the Sakura trees on some of them, while a few others remained bare and covered with snow on the top. Hell, they can't even see the top of a few taller ones. Below them was a long, almost thin river, the pureness of it given away by the way it reflected the sky perfectly. Surrounding the river were grass greener than the ones on the hill. Countless Sakura Trees stood proudly below them, making the ground a blur of pink and green and transparency and all the colors in the sky. Fai felt his breath caught in his throat as he leaned closer to Kurogane.

"It's so beautiful…" he whispered, hardly daring to break the peace between them. Kurogane didn't respond. Instead, he tugged the blonde beside him as he sat down and held him gently but closely. The children followed suit, eyes glued to the heavenly scenery around them, Syaoran holding Sakura close protectively. Fai sighed contently and snuggled into the other man's chest.

A thought struck him. "Kuro-chi?" he whispered. Kurogane looked down at him softly. "What?" he asked while the blonde stared at him adoringly with those cute, sapphire jewels.

"I love you," he whispered. Fai giggled as the larger man messed his hair up vigorously. "Bastard, rattling nonsense," he grumbled. The blonde sighed again and breathed in his lover's scent while the other buried his face in his blonde locks, settled and content by staring ahead at the scenery.

The sky was slowly enveloped by pink, then slowly, very slowly by purple, while the golden rays started to have a tinge of orange in it. As minutes ticked by, as the sun sets, the very edge of the sky was a purple-blue color, pink-sky blue in the middle and orange on the other side. Oh so slowly, purple dominated the sky, followed by a darker shade of blue, as the golden rays disappeared into orange. As night dawned, the larger man tore his gaze away from the first time he'd properly seen the sunset to the angel in his arms, surprised to find him fast asleep. His chest rose and fell softly, and that content smile he still wore on his face. Red eyes soften at the sight of him, and as he allowed himself a small smile, he lifted the blonde and kissed him on the forehead.

"I love you too."

* * *

**Totally pointless, but fluffy none-the-less! (Or maybe it's just my definition of fluffy, I don't know). Rants: I can't believe this story's coming to an end. As I reread this whole thing, I really, really want to rewrite this whole thing as there are SO MANY THINGS I can correct or make better of it! (Frustrated) Epilogue's coming at the 8****th**** of February, so don't miss it! =D  
**


	22. Epilogue

**Epilogue! Nooooooooooooo! *Sob* I think I'll skip the ranting and get on with it.**

**Last Disclaimer of this story: I do not own Tsubasa. I wonder if I'll ever miss saying that. **

* * *

_Four years later…_

"Sir, I'm afraid you can't sit here if you don't order anything!" yelled the waiter indignantly.

"I freakin' told you! I'm not ordering until the others arrive!" a tall, dark man with demonic eyes retorted. He was losing his patience, and everyone around him could see that. They were just smarter than the waiter in front of him now.

"But this is a café, not your stupid house! If you want a seat, then you must order! C'mon, at least order a drink, either for yourself or your friends!" The young man was growing tired. This dark man was really stubborn.

Kurogane snorted. "Tch, fine then. Coffee, black, no sugar and milk. Can your stupid brain register that?" he said sarcastically. The waiter's face turned a few shades red but decided to remain silent. Filled with frustration and anger, he stomped back into the café, ignoring the glances from surrounding guests. The moment he disappeared, their heads turned to stare at him.

"What are you looking at?" he snapped at them, the same moment they tried distracting themselves. Growling, the gruff man crossed his arms and leaned back against the chair. What a day. The idiot had gotten himself sick with a cold this morning and he ended up spending the best of the whole day taking care of the blonde. On his way here the gruff man was stuck in a 2 hour jam because another idiot was too kind to let a 90 year old lady to cross the road, which resulted in an accident that lasted for almost 3 freaking hours, and the moment he arrived here, a third idiot who couldn't keep his thoughts to himself bombarded him with questions that almost driven him up to the wall. **Almost**. He really thought the day couldn't get any worse.

Grumbling, he reached into his pockets and whipped out his Ipod and listened to Daniel Powter's song: 'Bad Day'.

_You have a bad day, _

_You're taking one down  
You sing a sad song just to turn it around  
You say you don't know  
You tell me don't lie  
You work at a smile and you go for a ride  
You had a bad day  
The camera don't lie  
You're coming back down and you really don't mind  
You had a bad day  
You had a bad day_

… Stupid song with so many 'you's in it. Fuck it.

"What are you doing?"

Kurogane's eyes snapped open. Two familiar figures were sitting themselves on the vacant chairs before him. Both faces mirrored the other, and the only difference between the faces were that one of them had a hard 'MINE' look on his face while the other's was far softer.

… They were much older than before. And they've grown.

Kurogane couldn't help but stare at their faces. They looked old with wrinkles on their faces, and were much more mature than they were last seen. Although they were still as slim and pale as before, the aura they emanated was harder than it have ever did. Apparently, the twins must have been through quite a lot ever since he last saw them. There was even a slight note of exhaustion in their voices, like they were tired of living any longer. It almost saddened and disgusted Kurogane that a life could be wasted away just like this.

"So… how's it been these past few years?" he asked, opting for conversation since the two didn't seemed to want to start one (one was scowling and the other fidgeting in his seat).

"Well… not as smooth as we liked to have it," Subaru replied after a while, scratching his head. "The Mafia's looking for us, and we've got to run from place to place, you know. Sometimes Yuuko offers us a hideout once in a while, but we prefer not to be in her dept. There were so many close calls… and sometimes we got into messes we could have prevented," he said dully, shaking his head. "All and all, a really rough life, but we're adjusting," he suddenly chirped with a small smile, as memories flooded back into his mind. "Oh! And I met this guy on the streets the other day! He's sooooooo cute, and we're dating now!" he finished with a squeal.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO DATE THAT DISGUSTING PERVERT, DIDN'T I?!" Kamui roared suddenly and sprang to life, attracting a few unwanted attentions from the surrounding.

"Aw… but Kamui, he's such a nice guy! Cute, adorable, kind, charming, honest, sweet and oh-so-handsome he is!" he said, swooning. "And he has such a cute-looking ass…"

"SHUT UP! ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU'VE BEEN STARING AT HIS ASS THE WHOLE TIME?!" Kurogane opted to cover his ears and started concentrating on the stupid song instead.

"You know, Seishiro isn't the only pervert around," Subaru stated flatly.

Kamui heaved and panted, grabbed his chest as if trying to squeeze his heart out and slammed his face on the table hardly. The waiter – who'd just appeared with Kurogane's coffee – made a small 'eep' sound.

"Is… is your friend alright?" he eyed Kamui uncertainly while offering the red-eyed man his coffee.

"Yeah, just ignore him. He just has a bad day. Oh, and I would like to order two martinis: one shaken and one stirred." The waiter nodded at Subaru and hurried off, probably drowning himself in self-pity to have the misfortune serving the most insane customers he ever had that was causing a racket in the café.

"I'm cursed…" muttered Kamui, taking deep gulps of air. "… To have the misfortune to be your brother…"

"Don't bother him," Subaru said simply, turning towards Kurogane. "He's just angry because if I start making out with Seishiro that'll make both of us equals!"

"WH-WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?!" Kurogane could see a few customers leaving, glancing fearfully at their direction. It won't be a few minutes before they were chased out of the café if this continued, he could be sure of that.

"Don't think I haven't noticed? You've been making out with his brother, Fuuma! Seishiro and I saw it a fair few times too, when you were both too indulged in your… erm… _activities_," he coughed. Kamui's face was practically purple with rage, but his brother ignored him easily and turned to Kurogane once again who was trying to avoid his eyes. "So enough about us! How are you? And are the kids alright? I heard you adopted them."

Kurogane snorted. "They're a pain in the neck. The kid's possessive of the girl and actually punched a few kids in school for flirting with her. The girl's obsessed with the kid and got into a number of catfights out of jealousy when the kid talks to other girls. And they both freakin' like each other and they're just too shy to admit it!" Kurogane shook his head. Seriously, children can be so stupid and naive at times. Well, if you liked somebody, then tell the truth before it's too late, that was what he learned. Even Fai was losing his patience with their constant behavior.

Subaru chuckled. "Well, let them come on their own. They'll admit it to each other one day. Maybe you can help them by giving some family 'talks' and listening to them." He chuckled evilly, which painfully reminded him of Tomoyo when she started cackling like an insane witch. The large man snorted again. "Yeah, right. Keeping them in the house is already one hell of a business. I'll leave that to the idiot."

The twins' gaze softened considerably at that moment. Both of them looked incredibly sad, and Kurogane felt his heart tug. All this while when he was having such a great (and not great) time with the blonde, far away they were, running and suffering on his behalf without forgetting, being so close to him yet so far. The longing, unlike the one he had on Fai to be with him, could never be fulfilled. No matter how hard they wished, the twins could never be with the one they cherished.

"How is he?" asked Kamui quietly, his gaze never meeting Kurogane's. The table was suddenly very silent. A few customers even turned their heads to see what was wrong.

"He's fine," he replied. "He's happy and not bothered at all by the blanks in his memories."

"What about his health? Have you been taking care of him properly?" The fiercer twin hissed, his golden eyes piercing him, trying to gauge anything he was hiding.

Kurogane met him with an equally fierce glare. "He's sick with a cold now, but he'll be fine. And what makes you think I can't take care of him properly?" he challenge. How dare they doubt his sincerity of loving and caring for the blonde. Were they accusing him for abusing him? He loved Fai, for goodness sake! Hadn't be proven his love towards him 4 years ago?

Subaru looked and noticed his anger before laughing meekly. "Sorry… it's just; it's been such a long time. We might be his guardians, but it was always Ashura who knew what to do." This time, a pained expression crossed his face. "He was always so protective of him, and always knew what to do and how to act in different situations. He knew how to take care of Fai and was such a wonderful father figure, despite his tough exterior. And he was always so kind to Fai…" he said, eyes dark as memories fleeted across his mind of times long gone. "He was such a good man…" he whispered.

At the mention of Ashura, he felt something akin to respect and sympathy to the dead man. The memory of Fai so obsessed over him and the look on his face whenever thinking or talking about him was enough for the gruff man to imagine how great a man Ashura was. But now, all his efforts hadn't got the reward it deserved. The one he had took care and protected with his life had forgotten him for God knows how long. It must hurt a damn lot to be forgotten by the one you loved, judging by the way the twins reacted. There was no other more insulting thing to your memory when your memory doesn't even exist in your most precious person's head!

Damn the world. Damn that stupid guy and his stupid wish. Talk about unsung heroes.

"I think we better leave," said Subaru, standing up and dragging his pouting brother with him. "We've better not be out in public places too long a time." To his surprise, the man walked over to him and hugged him tightly, conveying all his wishes and hopes through this hug.

"Please, I beg you. Take care of him. We might not have another chance to meet again; our lives are just so turbulent. If that happens, please remember to love him with all your heart, and never lose or abandon him until his time. Be there for him when he needs you and love him as much as he loves you. If not, I swear I'll rise from the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life," he whispered into his ear, before standing up once again. Kamui looked at him with warm trust and a cold warning in his eyes.

"Goodbye, Kurogane-san. It's been a pleasure to meet you again."

The gym teacher stared at their retreating backs until they were gone. Slowly, in a dazed state, he stood up, paid the money for the coffee (without drinking it) and left.

He could only hope for the best.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Kurogane-san! You're home!" Sakura greeted him cheerily the moment he stepped into their home. Syaoran was reading a book in a corner and Sakura smelled distinctively of roses.

"Have you two been taking care of him?" he asked.

"Yup!" Sakura chirped. "He's been sleeping the whole time you were gone, and his fever had gone down a little too," she said, looking triumphant and satisfied.

"Good girl," he complimented, giving both kids a ruffle on their hair before climbing the stairs and retreating to the room he and Fai shared, shutting the door behind. The room smelled for soup and medicine, and was slightly hotter and darker than normal with the curtains drawn to help the blonde sleep. But the sight of his lover froze him on the spot with terror.

Fai was crying, his body crouched in a sitting position as he rubbed his eyes in an attempt to dry the tears coursing down his beautiful face. The larger man quickly rushed to his side and held him in his arms, cradling the distraught man close to his chest. Fai held on to him, his body trembling and shaking as he sobbed. Kurogane raised his arms and stroke blonde locks gently, comforting him.

"What is it?" he soothed the crying blonde who has calmed down somewhat. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Fai lay in his arms, silent for a long moment as he recalled his dream. Soon after, the smaller man spoke, his voice quavering. "It's not very clear now…" he said slowly. "But it was a wonderful dream."

"_I saw my father."_

Inwardly, Kurogane jerked in shock. _What the hell… has he remembered him? _He thought … he couldn't be sure. It might not be his true father, or Ashura. He had to make sure. "How does he look like?" he asked softly.

"Well, he had long, black, silky hair, and stared at me so kindly. He had the faint smell of gunpowder on him too," he whispered gently, and looked up to Kurogane, face cradling the smallest and sweetest smile the man had ever seen him wore, and this one reached his eyes. "I mean, I know it could just be a dream, but I think that was what he looked like," he said thoughtfully.

Kurogane didn't say anything. He just hugged him tighter.

"And he held me so gently."

**-Owari-**

**SOB! It's all over, this story!  
**

**First, THANK YOU everyone here for reading/reviewing/favorite-ing/alert-ing/giving ideas and advices to my story, even though there were a hell lot of mistakes in it. (Shrugs) It was my first try on real multi-chapter fics. **

**Secondly, I'm pretty depressed that this story is over. So PLEASE, if you think this epilogue is lame and sucky, don't go yelling me about it. Personally, I wanted to keep it simple and bittersweet and bring back memories of other characters. **

**Lastly, if anyone bothers to know (smiles sheepishly), my next fic (based on the manga Voices of a Distant Star cough-MUSTREAD-cough) won't be out until at least the end of May. I'm busy and have a lot to polish on my writing, so until then I won't be writing here at all.**

**See you soon! =)  
**


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